Dear God,

I had to leave my husband as he was a sex addict. You know we were together for twelve years and he did some of the most awful things. Sometimes I feel like he may have harmed me in some way. My son says no, he is 19 now and he has autism. I embraced him (son) on many occasions in the recent and asked him with your forgiveness to forgive me. Sometimes the mate is a co-addict too or has low self esteem. I thought that this guy was awesome but I was never enough for him. I liberated myself from him and his evilness in March of this year and at first everything bad you could possible imagine happened me and the kids were hungry even though my husband was never ever a provider, the appliances started breaking down, all the phone and internet charges loomed over me, it was terrible. Then you started blessing me. But I am still angry and bitter please! I know he is sick, I know his mother is an enabler - why can’t I forgive him, why am I so angry at men?

Through my studies I have learned a lot about human nature but I can’t shake these evil thoughts of wanting him to suffer when in reality I know what he is. Help me forgive so I can return to receiving and giving the love I deserve. Even our daughter has moved on.

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Frustration…..Anger…..

Exhaustion…. I never thought I would be the type of person to regret my life. Yet, here I am with an alcoholic and drug addicted husband and I hate it. It is 11 pm, he left hours ago with our only car …will he be back before morning? If not, will he be sober? Why do I have to go through this again….why does our son? I often wonder if he has burnt out his brain with these drugs. Does he realize that we could lose everything if he gets caught using drugs at work?

Then I wonder if you even care…..my life is not hard. I know that I have it good but is it wrong to want honesty, respect and love?. Or is money and posessions all that matters?

I know you love me and watch out for me…would you also watch out for him? He needs something drastic to happen in order for this chaos to stop. Help him…I know that with your help Tob & I will be fine. 

Anne, Illinois/USA

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Is there something wrong with me? Did you make me this way or am I just a freak?

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I wonder…If i were to open up, would you have replied me as below:

Hey you..

You should get your act together! There are others who are in worst situation than you. You’re not as weak as you think you are, it’s normal to feel down, or under the weather once in a while…but to succumb to depression, well that’s just rubbish. That’s just an easy way out of not wanting to face the world. By the way, i havent been mean to you, i just havent replied to any of your prayers because you havent made any.

Come on now…think hard, think of all the good things and the good people around you, count your blessings. You have achieved quite something in these past months. Emotionally, you’ve surpassed what others expect of you. You’ve learn to forgive, you’ve learn to let go. You’re at peace.

You should know by now what triggers your emotional down turn. stop walking down memory lane, stop snooping into the lives of those who has touched your heart, stop with the ‘what if’. they’re happy, and i know you’re happy for them. please learn to make yourself happy, let others be happy for you. dont be selfish, let them feel how you feel - the blissful feeling of pure happiness of knowing others are happy…

Your self pity and being in the melancholic mode is not gonna get you anywhere. Yes, misery loves company, but it only works if you actually have the ‘company’ to torture. so, for your sake and for everyone else’s, be the person that you wanna be with.

As for your job, as tiring as it is, just dont give up. you’ve been thru worst. I know that you’re frustrated with the workload. just enjoy it as it’s all you have to blame at the moment. but once they take it away from you, you know you have nothing left to bitch about. why dont you just show them what they see in you that you were just to lazy to live up to.

Now, as much as you hate to admit, i know how you’re so into the ‘distraction’. she’s no longer a distraction, sadly she’s your addiction. you’re not even the real you at the moment. spare her the misery and the boredom of knowing the you that you dont even like. you cant even hold a decent conversation. Bet you’re ashamed for always having a ‘no substance communication’. I know this is gonna hurt, but you ARE getting kinda lame, and you you know why - you’ve been shutting yourself out from the world. You dont even know what’s going on in the world, you have gain no new knowledge to share or talk about. I hardly hear your favorite line “do you know that…”

Anonymous - UK

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I have so many dark secrets that I am too ashamed/scared to confess. But, I know that if I don’t get them out, they will eat me from the inside out. I have been living a lie for the past 14 years. To the world, I am this straight-as-an-arrow, put together woman with the perfect suburban life, the perfect marriage, the perfect parent. Not the case…not the case at all.

The first time I had sex, at the age of 14, was supposed to be with my boyfriend…only my boyfriend. Minutes after he took my virginity, he had his cousin come into the room and have sex with me as well. He had about 6 guys in the house waiting in line to have sex with me. I ran away after the third guy walked in the room. How could I be so stupid? I became spiteful towards men. I felt that they all just wanted to get in my pants. So, I decided to be just like them. I used men for sex. Some actually wanted a relationship with me, but I would tell them that the relationship was purely sexual…nothing serious. I estimate that the number of men I’ve slept with is probably around 35-40. I got lucky by not catching any serious STDs. I had one regretful abortion. I still think about him.

I married my husband 7 years ago. I told him I was a virgin. He still thinks that he is my “one and only”. I remained faithful to him until I caught him masturbating to porn. In my heart, he became just like all of the other men. Then, he started neglecting me to be with his friends…to go drinking with his buddies 3-4 times a week. I’ve cheated on my husband with four different men and one woman. Recently, I’ve been corresponding with a past fling. He claims that he loves me. They all say that. I don’t believe them. I’m not sure if I believe in love at all. I’ve contemplated leaving my husband for this man. Not because I love him, but because he’s a rich doctor. I know it’s not right. It’s selfish. I tell myself that I can learn to love him. But, can I?

The worst part is that I don’t really feel bad for any of this. I know that I should feel more guilt and shame. I do feel something, but not enough to make me stop. Lord, I need the strength to be a better person…to be a better wife and mother. I’m so weak minded and weak hearted. I know the devil is in me, but I can’t seem to do your will..

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Dear God,

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Dear God,

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Please, I just can´t take it anymore…

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Dear God, or anyone that can hear me.

I want to forgive him, I do. But what he did to me is just far to hard. I don’t think i will ever be able to forgive him. It feels like it would be sort of like trying to forgive someone after they have already killed you. He has taken my life away, i just hope I will be able to overcome this obstacle. It seems hard, because I don’t really believe in God. If God was real, why would he put me through this. It has truly traumatized me, and even 3 years later, I still cant get over it. It has been changing the way i see myself ever since it happened. I just wish that somehow i could forget about it, because I cant forgive him. The worst part? He’s my big brother. He’s supposed to be there for me.. isn’t he?

Andrea - Canada

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Dear God,

I wanted to tell the ex but I figured that I should let his brother do that. The brother doesn’t want to tell him now but I can’t live with this. It’s all I can think about and this sounds stupid but I’m really not this kind of person. I know that I’m the one that screwed up and that I need to deal with it but a little help would be greatly appreciated. I just don’t want this terrible mistake to ruin my ex’s relationship with his brother and if my ex and I could come out of all this as friends that would be great too, but I wouldn’t want ask for too much. Truthfully more than anything else I just want them to be okay and I want to get through this.

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Dear God,

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Sandra, Indiana/USA

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Dear God,

I feel like I am in a permanent state of sadness and despair. Living is a daily painful ordeal, every night I go to bed wishing that I wont wake up the next morning.

Ayesha, South Africa

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Dear God,

This is just something that is really hard for me to give up right now.

Please don’t stop loving me. I don’t want to be punished anymore. My family and I can’t take it.

Cat Von D, Chicago/USA

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Dear God,

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Dear God.

I am a short, weak-looking woman. But I once assaulted a young teen- aged boy who threw an apple at my car. I drove down an alley after him really fast, stopped and jumped out and chased him down. I cornered him in by a fence and pushed him down. I kicked him a few times in the abdomen and arm while he was down. Then I got in my car and drove away. I was a wreck about it for months. It spurred me to go to counseling for my “anger” but I never did tell the counselor this story. The shoes I wore that day, I had to throw them out soon after-I couldn’t look at them. At the time, it didn’t seem that I hurt him very much (He got right up). But I sometimes imagine that maybe it was worse than I remember. I think of that movie “Short Cuts” where the little boy died after Lilly Tomlin hit him with her car and she goes on with her life oblivious…I wonder where that kid is now. This is the only secret I keep from my husband. It is the only thing in my life I am ashamed of.

Lyn, Brooklyn,NYC/USA

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Dear God,

Ritcher, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

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