Dear God,
Im really sad, I really am.
I told my parents that I’m gay. I thought they understand me, but i got wrong, they dind’t. Now I’m living so far away from home and I really need them to hold me, to support me, “m confused as I wish now I had not told them. What can I do dear God? help me…help them to understand, help them to know that gay people are not horrible. I know that I was gay since was I born but I never told anyone. Why do I have to be gay? Did i make something wrong in my past life?
Help meeeeeeeeee
SomewhereShare:
April 17th, 2009 at 1:36 am
You did nothing wrong. There is no sin in loving another. Love is the greatest gift you can give to another, and if you have done so, why should it matter if you are the same gender?. I knew I liked girls from a very young age, and I’ve never felt ashamed of it. I love who I love, and there is nothing wrong with that.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:43 am
Dear friend,
First I want you to know that you did nothing wrong, and you made a good choice in telling your parents. You should never be ashamed of who you are, or hide it from others. My heart goes out to you because I’ve been in the same exact situation as you. I am also gay, and my family was the most homophobic group you would ever meet. And I knew it, before I came out. But you just have to do those things if you ever want to move forward…or be the real you. When I told them they didn’t believe it themselves. They told me I was just curious and going through changes. But I knew it. Just like you I knew it practically from the day I was born. I just stood my ground and never caved into that. As hard as it was for people, and myself to accept it I kept telling myself “I’m gay, and that’s alright.” Just like your parents, soon you will realize you are nothing less than what you used to be. You both will soon accept that you are gay. Because it’s not just your parents dear, you have to accept it as well. You’re a beautiful person, don’t take this as a punishment. God loves you, gay or straight. Everyday is a new start to your life and take this day as the beginning of the rest of your life. Today you start accepting yourself and loving yourself, and once you do that others will follow. You are not alone, and support is never too far away. You are in my prayers, and I wish the best for you.
P.S. - Your post reminded me of the movie “prayers for bobby.” It’s based on a true story, if you haven’t seen it try watching it.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:30 am
Hello
I could imagine what would be going through ur mind as i have seen my friend going through d same thing. He too had many problem in his life but after sometime things gone better. Have faith dear on that Almighty . He will give u answers to ur questions. I know what a child feel when parents couldn’t understand them. I wish they soon realize that u haven’t done any wrong thing.
I don’t know whether it is result of ur past life but believe me u r not doing in this life.
God bless u and will send one of his kid to help u to get out of this .
Thank u
April 17th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I hope your parents understand. I wish I had a friend to talk to now too.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:34 am
You did nothing wrong! There is no better way to live in this life than to be yourself and be proud of it, even in the face of adversity. I’m so sorry your parents don’t understand you, but that is their problem, their lack of perspective, and not your fault.
Hang in there, and for now just work on surrounding yourself with people that are capable of loving you for just who you are.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Hey you did nothing wrong if anything you did EVERYTHING RIGHT!!! Im gay myself and telling friends and family is the hardest thing in the world. But promise that it is ok and no matter what never let anyones misunderstanding actions hurt you. I know what its like to be so far from home and feel so alone but do pray pray so loud that everyone can hear you! I t helps you make it through your tough times because someone will be there. Promise!
April 17th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
You have done nothing wrong. Surround yourself with good people who you can hug and can hug you back, a support network that loves you for you, regardless of sexuality.
You’re ok, you’re doing fine. Just let your parents have some time to get their heads around it. It may be months or even years, but you will never stop being their son and they will never stop loving you.
April 17th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
My heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my prayers. I know that God hates the sin and not the sinner. Always understand that. You are not a bad person, all you need is prayer and I ask God this day in the name of Jesus to save you from destruction and show you the truth and free you from any bondage. I ask that he removes any person that brings evil to your life and bring loving christian people into your life and heal all brokenness in your heart. I ask God in the name of Jesus to guide your steps for the rest of your life and take care of you until the end of this age. If you haven’t committed your life to Jesus: ask him this night to forgive you for the wrong things you’ve done ,ask him to help you change any way in your life that displeases Him and ask Him to be your personal Lord and Saviour. You make that commitment and I promise you God will be there always. He won’t change faces like human beings. When my mother and my father forsake me,then the Lord will take me up.{Psalm 27:10} Also,“The Lord said, ‘People judge others by what they look like, but I judge people by what is in their hearts.’” 1 Samuel 16:7 (CEV).Everybody has sinned, you are not the first. So don’t condemn yourself and lose focus. Bring your heart to God and He will bless you in your life with people who truly care. God bless you always!
April 18th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Just a quick reiteration for you “Somewhere” as I know you’re hurt from the parental lack of understanding, Remember, You have done nothing wrong, so don’t think you have to ask God to forgive you or any of this is brought about your honesty at being who you are and sharing this huge confession with your folks, okay.
Your life is what you make it and as long as you’re not hurting anyone or using intent to bring about unhappiness or harm, The God energy will bless every step of your life, be it as a Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Gay, Blue, Yellow…whatever.
There is no bondage - perhaps the only kind you felt was not being open about your sexuality but remember, your sexuality is not the be all and end all of who you are. I’m sure loving people will enter into your life, as I said surround yourself with these people - again, they can be Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Gay, Blue, Yellow….whatever.
Embrace life in all it’s wonderful colours, be happy, free, Gay and honest with your journey. It will get better. I promise!
April 20th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Hey man, do not worry.
You’re not doing anything wrong, just take some time to help them reconsider about it. It’s not easy for a parent aswell, i think that it is hard for them to understand, but you’re their son and they love. They will change their mind. Show them the kind of son you are and that they should be proud of you.
Be happy, clear your mind.
Wish you the best of luck.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:14 am
A parent who really loves his/her child will make an effort to understand, providing that parent can think for themselves. I know this may be difficult to hear, but I believe that any parent who is unwilling to offer love and support to their child for any reason he or she cannot help, does not deserve their love and support in return. This doesn’t mean you should not give them every chance to get over their medieval attitudes before you are forced to turn your back.
The universe has a way of attracting loving people to those who are loving. True love is unconditional. If you have to pretend to be something else to receive the love of your parents, it is not you who they love… They love their idea of what they think you should be. That is not love.
I know things are hard right now but this matter WILL resolve. You are an adult now and must not look to your parents to control the agenda. You cannot control how they feel or behave toward you and if they are resigned to ignorance, nothing you do will change them. You can only control your own changes in attitude and how you feel and behave toward them. Furthermore, you are in charge of your reactions to their ignorance, including having no reaction at all. There is often great power in silence.
Be in charge of yourself by loving yourself. Surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. There are 6.5 billion people on earth to choose from.
Best of Luck
Bill in Los Angeles
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:26 am
Your announcement challenges your parents at a basic and foundational moral level. And, depending on their level of biblical faith, they may not ever get over it, but that says nothing about you. I have no idea how you can possibly have been in touch with your sexuality from the moment of birth, so how you know you were born gay is beyond me. It seems more likely that at some point or after a series of points you realized your preference. Sexual preference is just that, whether someone is gay, straight, or bi.
Best of luck on your new life journey.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Why do you have to be Gay? Why did I lose two of my children? I don’t know. But what I do know is you are who you are. Your sexuality was formed in the womb. It is not your “fault”, it is human physiology. If you could change this could you? I think not. I’m sure you have already tried
I’m here for you to talk to. I am a 57yr old Mom whose 15 year old son told me a year ago he was gay.
I don’t care if he is heterosexual, bisexual, metrosexual, or any kind of sexual. He is mine I made him, I love him unconditionally. I will fight to the end for him.
I did tell him what he will endure many injustices from the religious community, and intolerant people. You need to know that you are okay. God made you in his own likeness, if you are having doubts about you being a sinner.
If you ever need someone to talk to e-mail me I will be you support.
There are those out there who truly care. I am one of them.
Sincerely,
Anne
April 24th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Do NOT let anyone tell you that you are a sinner and that you are wrong for only being who you are. You ARE loved. You are a valuable, loved human being. There is no shame in being true to yourself. I hope and pray your parents see the light soon and realize all they are losing by not having you in their lives. But I will tell you that you will find people who will love you for you. Believe it. And guess what,our God loves you and does NOT condemn you for your life. Our God is a tolerant, loving, understanding God who loves all of us equally. God loves you just as you are.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Hey, don’t worry about your parents or Christians or Muslims who will be cruel to you about your sexuality. They hate themselves that’s why they don’t want you to be happy. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. They’re lying.
Much love. Kia Kaha.
April 26th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Your feeling guilt because your actions are contrary to the universe. Life would not exist if it wasn’t for people like your parents. Learn to love without getting sexual and then you will find true happiness - and realize that the lifestyle of those that support you really is just a bunch of hype and the only happiness they find is from each other - because misery loves company.
April 26th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
I wish that I could give you the perfect words but the best I can do is what I feel and know. I was born a sinner. I was redeemed at the age of eight. Called into the ministry, spirit filled. Labeled as gay– though having no experience of that sort at the time–when I looked it up–I was text book…. I was devestated. For twenty something years I tried to justify it–tried to find loop holes–tried to find alternated meanings for the scriptures.. The thing is–it says what it says it says–Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic-J-P—whatever, whoever, whenever–its sin-just like anything else that is against God’s ordinance—-disobedience to parents—but there is a loop hole—-God–He paid for our sins Himself–He did it–because He loves us and does not want to be separated from us—true love sacrifices self. God is the ultimate lover. He loves you so much… no matter what–you can come to Him–bring it to Him–everything–all of it.
In my case—-I just want God so bad–I want to be in His presence and in His service—I don’t want anything else–I want Him–His presence–more than anything.. But, I still bring stuff to Him-everyday.. It’s just that I want to serve His purposes.. But you know—the majority of Christians do not have that kind of hunger.. Most are carnal Christians—I’m not special–I’ve just seen so much death–I’m called to the ministry of reconciliation and healing–restoration—-I see the faces of people–especially the young–the otherwise outcasts of society who are in need of God’s Love. That’s why I forsake all–not to be saved–I’m already saved–by Grace-thru faith in Jesus Christ—-but to be used to be a bridge to God’s love–His message-His healing–and because I desire to honor Him.
But God didn’t make you gay–no more than He made someone deaf or blind–it is just the result of a fallen world where sin abounds–but where sin abounds–grace does that much more abound. Please let me make clear to you—God loves you so much–He made a way for you to come to Him–He gave His self.. He knew before you were born what your tendencies would be—you can’t shock Him–He knows—He loves you anyway–but let Him pay for it. peace.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:33 am
Dear Somewhere….
You are LOVED! Your struggle with identity….the human struggle. You are created a MAN—make no mistake about that. Now, sexuality…this is not your identity. Sexuality and our choices in how we express the gift of our sexuality are faced by both man and woman alike. Sexuality is a beautiful gift from our Creator. Sexuality is a responsibility as well and is expressed in actions we choose. Each man and each woman alone decides their own actions. Our actions may effect others, but most certainly ourselves. Regardless of our identity, man or woman, we are called to live a life of chastity which affirms your dignity as a man or woman. This is the dilemna, what does this mean. Is this possible? Where does this struggle of chastity lead? Well yes this is the hard road, and very personal. Choices which affirm the dignity of the human person, male or female, ultimately bring fulfillment to our purpose. This truth doesnt change. We both male and female make mistakes. We all need support in the Way of the Truth as the world would lead astray even to having one believe that you are your sexuality. Be gentle with yourself, you are good. I wouldnt like to throw this word out to you and leave you without support, as this is a deep concern and no mere blog can appropriately support the many complexities. Yet I refer you to the support group on the website http://couragerc.net/. for continuing support and growth in this area. My prayers are with you. Thank you for reaching out and I pray for your strength and courage to seek your answers during this time.
May 8th, 2009 at 8:18 am
no one can put the stone and throw it with you,God never deprive you nor course you,your identity is not the problem the problem is how do you act according to your identity.I’m straigth,but I have sympathy to those who suffered from this mysterius and babel situation..Live with dignity it will be your shield from any kind of discrimination..
May 10th, 2009 at 3:00 am
I write you from Germany- Hello dear! No, God loves you not only- he DIED for you!You are so importend for him. HE create you! He miss you so mutch. You are Not alone. But the sins you have done- separate you from him! But this is NOT the end!! When I was 21, i was so confused about live- I hate what I see, and not understand…all this bad things in the world. The fights, all this hindranced people, I feel me not loved from my parents ,nobody REALY understand my problems- I fell me allone in the midst of my best friends. I heard so bad storys from misuse abuse- and I CAN NOT HELP- I HAVE NO HOPE FOR MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I My relationships with my parents was broken- i hate them. I was not homosexuel- but in the sex with the boys ” I loved” I found NOT what I am looking for. I was empty- at last I feel me like a zombie.I take drugs, drunk ….(when I was 14, I say- I will make suicide when I was 18- I tryed it. Praise god - I live!!)It was just an cry for love !)
WHY I tell you ?
June 6th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
All your comments are beautiful and all these are just what i needed to read in my time of need. It’s just so hard being gay but its the loving, kind & understand people like the ones on this site who make being gay not so much of a crisis. Thank you so much for understanding. =)
June 18th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
The first thing you need to know is that God loves you no matter what. No matter what you do or what kind of life you live, He will never stop loving you the same and offering you the same wonderful relationship with him that anyone is able to have. But you have to know that what you are doing is wrong. I know its hard to hear, and you may think that I am some cruel religious person that hates anyone different. I know what it can be like to deal with homosexualtiy, and I know people in my life that have struggled with it, but they changed. You don’t have to be gay. The reason it causes so much pain and hurt in your life is not just because people are cruel and hateful, it is because it isn’t the way God intended us to live. It is so easy to think that God made you gay or that you were born that way, because I know you have been struggling with these feelings for your entire life, but just because you feel something doesn’t make it right. I’m not saying this because I hate gay people or think any less of you. I’m saying it because I know how hard your life must be and I desperately want you to know that there is something better out there. God offers you the chance to live in freedom. Take it.
June 24th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Hey there, I am sorry that your parents behaved the way that they did. It is unfortunately common. I try very hard to understand the character of God. One thing that I know is that I sin almost everyday at least through my thoughts and words. The Bible says that you can sin with your mouth anytime. Why? Because your mouth is like a loaded gun. The Bible says it is easier to tame the wildest animal than to tame the tounge. That is definitely true for me. I am a sinner and I constantly have to talk to God about the things I do that do not please Him. Sin is sin. Simply, sin is something that God said we should not do, usually because it is harmful and dangerous and God says not to do it to protect us. That goes for homosexuality as well. God clearly states in the Old and New Testaments that homosexuality is one of many different sins. Why people disown their family who practice homosexuality is beyond me. I would not disown my habitual liar of a family member just because lying is a sin. That’s rediculous and potentially eternally harmful. So, for that I am sorry. I hope that you can process your lifestyle with God and maybe will choose to obey Him one day. Good luck with your relationship with your family.
June 25th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
You have to be gay because that’s the uniqueness of you. We’re all unique. I have weird quirky things about me. Please don’t feel that you did anything wrong. Because you didn’t. You can’t change the way you are. I can’t change the way I am (though sometimes I would like to…hehe). All parents react different. I’m not sure how long ago you spoke with your parents but give them time to absorb it. It’s so strange how parents want their children to be a certain way and then they’re not. What can we do?
I’m straight but love gay/bi/trans/etc people. They are really caring and understanding. I miss my gay friends. 
In the mean time I hope you can find some caring and kind people. Whether that be at a church or a GBLT centre (I think I got that acronym wrong whoops) but find support. If it makes you feel better I’m behind you 100% and I don’t even know you.
Please know that God loves everyone. He wouldn’t put people on this Earth just to hate them. It’s humans that are the dumb one and hate people for stupid reasons…err…makes me angry.
Please continue to be you just the way you are. Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior because your gay. We’re all on this Earth together. Now if only we could all get along!!
Good luck, stay positive and surround yourself with kind people.
June 28th, 2009 at 3:50 am
you are perfetly fine, beeing gay its not a disease.
love urself so that others can see that you do and they can love you as well.
give your parents time, dont give up on them and dont hate them for not understanding, maybe with love and some effort they will see that ur the same no matter who you choose to love, its all in ur hands, u can make them change their mind, u can open their ayes to the fact that being gay its not a bad thing, u cant choose who ur gonna love, it just happens.
i hope everything works for you
July 1st, 2009 at 2:31 am
There is nothing wrong with being gay. There is nothing in the bible that says that it is wrong (except for the letters but I do not believe they should be included as they are not divinely inspired). There is not a gay gene and there are no causes discovered because it is quite natural for a proportion of the populace to be gay. Just think if 10% of the population weren’t gay then we would number 9bn people not 6. If you want children then you can adopt.
There is no shame and should be no pain. Your parents will be disappointed that they will not have a biological grandchild and this is natural too.
If they say gommoragh (sp?) then say bullpoop, the issue there was gang rape of strangers (treating strangers like neighbors being a fundamental tenet of christianity) not homosexuality
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
It’s all too common for some people to begin with “God loves you…” or my personal favourite “I have gay friends and I love them…but…” What you are doing is of your choice, of your path and that in itself is Gods work and therefore right for you. For God would but say that for you to endure any hardship, face it head on and rise to encounter the odds, as many gay people do is in itself courageous and faith in human spirit.
People - regardless of sexuality - struggle. One of the reasons so many gay people seem to struggle is due to a constant misunderstanding perpetuated by those who deem it wrong in the name of God - which rears itself as hate and violence in those fanatics that take it on as their own life’s work to bring about God’s so called fire and brimstone. This hate (and violence) seems to be unfortunately still alive in 2009 as the news is littered with reports of young teens and adults subjected to this abuse, most notably Matthew Shepherd. So, we have those who also do this while brandishing a placard with “God hates F—” and yelling words of hate at mourners of dead soldiers and gay people.
It’s quite simple really when you think of the one teaching that Jesus used most and wished for his children. Love
Love is unconditional, knows no boundaries, no limits and is neither chosen or based on gender or race.
However, those that do attempt to mix this very simple message use one other word. Fear
July 9th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I Cor. 1:9 “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
James 1:2 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
Dear Somewhere,
You seeminly have some sort of instinct that choosing a gay lifestyle is wrong since you posted your letter in confessions. I unlike %90 of the other people that have commented on your letter am not going to tell you that the lifestyle you have chosen is “not wrong”, because in a biblical moral sense it most definitely is. What you are struggling with right now is a sense of purpose. Your struggle is not a sin, your desire is not a sin, but your reactions to your emotions and desires are what brings forth either good or evil. You say you have felt gay all your life but at what point did you start having any physical or emotional feelings of sexual desire towards the same sex? You may say that defining being gay by sexual preference is limiting but that is the only defining difference between two people of the same sex who are friends. If you have a best friend of the same sex that you feel close to, does that make you gay? No, it most certainly doesn’t. It is when those two friends confess physical attraction and/or act upon their desires that makes them homosexuals. Stop asking God why He made you gay and start asking yourself why you feel the need to BE gay. If you saw an extremely large person on tv that was struggling with eating too much, and they diabetes and a very low metabolism and they never felt like working out and all these obstacles to overcome, would you say they were born that way? You would say yes they were born with all these obstacles that make it hard for them to lose weight BUT they were not born the 800 pounds they are today, they became that way slowly over long periods of time, 1 sandwich too many at a time.
I say these things not to condemn you but to convict you as i have been convicted of sin in my own life. If you are still not convinced of the truth, if you take nothing else out of this comment i beg you to study the word of God, read the New Testament first. If you really want an answer from God. Read His words. He has already given purpose to your life and your struggles, you only need to believe it.
Lastly, however sinful you, me, or anyone else is, we all have hope, b/c of the gift of forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, who died that we may be cleansed no matter what we’ve done or how many times we’ve failed.
July 14th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Surround yourself with positive people….move to another location….with lots of gay people….and lots of clothing stores….gays are here for population control….there are lots of gay animals….and a very famous gay fish…..I’m straight….but I like gay people
August 8th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Hey! they’ll end up understanding, keep calling them & loving them no matter what & start concentrating in your life, in the good things you want to do and how free you are cause’ you have nothing to hide!
August 16th, 2009 at 2:38 am
God loves you just the way you are.
Trust Him and ask Him to talk to your parents hearts.
The people Jesus condemned in the bible were the pharisees, the legalists who judged, but didn’t love.
Just keep loving God, keep talking to Him.
I promise you, He will give you joy every morning.
God Bless You!
August 18th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Ain’t no sin to love man.
August 20th, 2009 at 8:57 am
a good friend of mine said once:
‘your parents will never understand why you are gay, but they will have to accept it’
my parents can’t understand why, how could they.. they are hetero, and that’s good, i’m gay that’s good too…
my parents are still on their way of accepting… it will take time
it took me long to tell them, so now i’m giving them time to accept it
October 31st, 2009 at 10:52 am
Hey buddy… just want to tell you that GOD does love you!!!!! no matter what!!! he created you before you were born and know what you would be.. it says in the bible.. you will meet alot of people who will be prejudgist against you… and you have to remember are they GOD? NO!!!! just keep your faith and believe in him!!! I do!!! no one is going to make you happy but yourself! you have to trust me on that one .. be the good person that you are and don’t follow what everyone is doing!!!! take care my friend!!!! GOD BLESS
about your parents…. they will come around someday!!! you just have to be strong!!!
November 11th, 2009 at 8:29 am
Unfortunately, 90% of the posts above are based on opinion and not God’s Word which I know to be true. You were not “BORN GAY” any more than someone is “BORN ALCOHOLIC”. You are simply predisposed to evil tendencies just like the rest of us. The good news is that there is help through the knowledge of The One who paid the ultimate sacrifice in place of your homosexuality. Please know that I am not condemning your lifestyle at all. This is coming from a person who has been addictied to pornography, alcohol, drugs, etc. I had to come to a place that my life was about God, and not about my flesh desires. Hope this helps!!!