Dear God,
There are several things on my mind. They are as follows:
- I feel like I am spending most of my time waiting for something. I want more than anything to know what that is. I feel like there is some great, unused, and wasted potential that I have not been able to tap thus far in my life. You’ve made me quite intelligent; this is a fact, not a boast. Sadly, though, for all this power of thought (and because of it), I have done nothing but coast through life, school, etc., with an attitude bordering on apathy. I have a biomedical engineering degree that led me to a decent job, where little can hold my interest. I am disgracefully underproductive at work, and I spend hours a day daydreaming of some great force or signal that will sweep into my life and show me what I am supposed to do with myself.
I am becoming very afraid that my true talents are completely out of line with the career path I have chosen. I’ve had a strange longing lately to write something, though I have no idea what or how to go about it.
- I want so badly to fall in love. I spent 2 years with a girl who I believe loved me utterly and completely. I could not fully return this love, no matter how much I wanted to. I was depressed and did not love even myself. She is the most caring, thoughtful, and loyal person I have ever met (not to mention one of the most beautiful); why could I not give her the love she wanted? I want to ask you for a woman I can love more than life itself, but I feel selfish and petty doing so. I am afraid my expectations and standards are unrealistic.
- I am ashamed of my cynnicism and elitism. I feel like I am losing faith in humanity and see only the flaws and the ugliness in others. I am tall, handsome, and intelligent, of which I am both sinfully proud and ashamed.
- I am struggling with my faith in you, and I am bombarded by doubt on all sides. I felt very close to you only a short time ago, when I believed that you helped me through a very difficult depression. I am ashamed of my ungratefulness and the rapidity with which I have neglected you.
- I have more blessings than I can count, but I don’t feel fulfilled in the slightest. Instead, I am ungrateful and lost. This is not the same depression as before; I haven’t totally lost hope, but I still can’t find what I am looking for.
I know this is a clumsy prayer, but I pray that you can gather the true meaning from my heart, restore my faith, and help me find what is is that I am so desperately looking for.
Anonymous - Texas, USA Share:
September 4th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Your supposed to Love - believe you deserve it and it will soon follow
September 4th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Be strong. I know what it’s like. Sometimes all the odds aren’t against us, like we don’t have some incredible illness or whatnot but we still feel so trapped.
The only advice I can give you right now is stop beating yourself up, and accept yourself. God loves you, and made you specifically the way you are. We are all imperfect, but that doesn’t mean you should hate yourself, it just makes things worse.
I can tell your an awesome person, deep down. What you have to do is stop thinking about the terrible things in life… fight every day to remember what you are grateful for (try writing in a book every night like a journal some things you were grateful for), and how awesome you are.
Take each day as it comes. Listen to what your heart says, and listen to who you are and don’t fight it, embrace it. Don’t be scared to take baby steps and make mistakes.
I believe in you, God certainly believes and loves you. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise. Hope this helped a little
September 5th, 2008 at 4:18 am
Spirited Dona says– We all feel we are awaiting things. That is Normal! I wish I had worked harder to win things ! I would have if, as a youth, i could have forgiven failure happens, No matter how hard you try! Take acceptable risks– then forgive what bad happens! I feel God cares about you, as I write this!
September 5th, 2008 at 9:18 am
a very wise person once told me that it’s impossible to love others, until you love yourself.
once you shift your focus from looking outside for fulfillment, and get to know yourself, and what truly makes you tick; once you have reached a place of self-acceptance and self-love (and i dont mean in the sexual sense), you will see that everything else will fall into place.
i know that feeling of waiting for something ‘big’ to happen that you know is just around the corner. I’ve had it. The thing is that it wont come until you’re ready. You will be your own worst obstacle. Trust me on that.
So, start small. You want to write something? well, get a notebook. carry it everywhere with you. start writing. write about whatever. the person sitting across from you on the bus. a thought. comment. experience. whatever. you dont have to sit down and start a novel right away. that’s just unrealistic. babysteps, my friend. start by getting the writing part of your brain un-rusty, and exercised… write a little every day. the rest will soon come.
If you are ashamed of seeing only the negative in people (which i dont blame you, there is *alot* of negative to be seen), then perhaps you need to go out of your way, and challenge yourself to look specifically for the good. If you look, you’ll find it. There is a whole lot of badness out there.. but there is also good.
You’re an intelligent, attractive, healthy person. This is a gift. now, get off your duff, and put it to some use.
September 5th, 2008 at 9:26 am
U are so not alone my bro but u must remember all de time dat our God varies from human being as much as u think u dnt deserve all these blessings u actually do bcos if ever our dear Father didnt bilieve dat u do deserve all of dat He has given u trust me it would have faded away within a minute u still have the time to build the relationship with ur creator!!!
September 6th, 2008 at 2:26 am
1st you could use a few good hugs. Go to someone who will do that for you.(even if it is your mom). Then know you are in spiritual warfare and that the negative thoughts are winning. I hope this realization will help to anger your righteous indignation about how the evil one is trying to rob you of your joy. TAKE iT back. Tell him to leave. Then go into nature, observe the beauty. Ask yourself how what you have right now could serve others- even in the mundane. What can you do today to lift someone else’s burden. Taking their load lightens yours- trust in this truth. The more you practice this the more you will find your peace. Your opportunity is in every hour of every day. The larger picture will unfold as you cooperate with the minutia. Find a spiritual home. Turn on some classical music. Relax and know your are incredibly precious and valuable. I will pray for your clarity. I believe you will find it.
September 6th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I too believe i am waiting for something i yet do not know of.
I’m not too religious or anything, but i believe in a greater power and i yearn to find out what it is.
September 7th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Funny… I came across this site while kinda browsing around with these exact emotions. I don’t know if it helps, but I can tell you are not alone. Your prayer is shared by me almost to the ‘T’. I’m an electrical engineer with much of the same confusion, even down to the girlfriend/work experience. I fight the same emotions and thoughts. In fact, I seem to go through a mental roller-coaster on a daily basis. I have no answers for you but I felt extremely compelled to let you know that there are others out there with the same feelings. I’m trying to keep faith but at times am very bad at it. I hit a verse I liked which I come back to frequently for encouragement. The passage is Isaiah 43:16-19.
September 7th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Everything that you mentioned in your prayer is something that I have either felt yesterday or am still feeling today.
Specially the fact that I feel I am intelligent and can do a lot better in life than I am right now.
I’ve wondered many times why I’m doing the things that I do and why I’m never happy and satisfied even though many people would kill to be where I am right now..
The feeling that something in my life is lacking but I just can’t put my finger on it, and I’m wasting this reserve of unused potential within me..I can’t beleive how similar your thoughts are to mine!
My friend, who is really spiritual told me about this website and the first post I read just made me wonder how many others there are like us..
I think the key is not only to feel but to know and beleive that you are the best and you can live your life the way you want.
Don’t see the ugliness in the world, I did that when I was depressed as well but try to appreciate things we take for granted..I was just walking outside today and the feeling of the wind tossing my hair around just made me feel alive and grateful to God because I am able to experience such simple beauty in life.
This is it–there is no practice in life, it’s one big final, so just give it your best shot!
I will pray for you as I do for myself. I beleive you will find what you are looking for pretty soon, hope everything goes well for you, because if it does, then there’s hope for me as well
September 8th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Hey, if you see previous comment by pjizzle, I am the “spiritual friend” that p. mentioned. hahaha!
so i go to this website frequently but this is the first time i am leaving a comment. i see so many people are sharing the same feeling with you. i am not good with words but i just want to leave a brief notes of encouragement here for you and especially for my friend.
i feel that the reality hits us harder as we grow older because we start to think more about what we are doing. i agree with the untapped potential part ’cause sometimes i just feel like i can be a better person than who i am now, but at one point i realize how successful a person we are is not just about how much potential we have untapped, but it’s more about using what we already have. sometimes the regret is not we never untapped what we have inside of us, but not using what’s in our hand efficiently.
when we can’t get a new life, let’s just take a fresh look at what we already have.
give yourself time, time discovers truth. and i am sure you can overcome your struggling with your faith in god, ’cause even if you have 1% faith (hahah, this doens’t make much sense), i am sure god will give you the remaining 99%, and complete you.
September 12th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
I think I see a general lack of passion and love in your life. Perhaps this is the reason you feel apathetic towards certain people and certain tasks. I don’t know how you can bring passion and love into your life, but generally looking inward helps.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:05 am
were all waiting for something extraordinary to happen….to fall in love…to find our destiny……but don’t lose faith in God because no matter what, you can love him forever and he is your destiny
September 24th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
I struggled with the thought that I wasn’t doing enough with my mind. I remember as a younger person being rather
preoccupied with “smarts’ and thinking that it was most important to be smart. I have since learned in my life, in my relationships,
that it is so much more important to be kind…not just nice, but kind. The way I approach people now, is with kindness. I am not perfect and definitely have a predisposition for being critical, but it is a muscle that needs exercise if you are to make it strong. I can say it gets easier with practice. I have learned that my good brain does the busy work at my job but my heart and desire to help people does the real work that I was made for.
I am a trainer and take an interest in each of the people I train. It is so fulfilling. Even the customers at my job have become friends.
I was a cardboard person, but I have come to deserve all the love I receive…because I give it more freely and sincerely.
If you want it, you’ll get there. Good luck, my dear.
September 26th, 2008 at 10:47 am
To find purpose, look at your desires, your passions. Things you enjoy and want to give your heart for. Discovering purpose requires you to take a risk. Go for it! At least you figure out soon enough whether it’s really what you’re meant to do, or not, instead of forever remaining clueless. Don’t expect too much of yourself though. Try to find the joy in whatever you do, instead of finding out how to do it perfectly. Fear and a desire for perfection sometimes strangles our efforts.
Some food for thought - Maybe you were unable to accept yourself in the relationship you mentioned. Did you consider accepting the fact that she was willing to accept you as you are? Love isn’t always about self, but about the other person and their well-being. That aside, we all desire to give love as well as receive love. Did you ever consider that perhaps receiving her love would also benefit her and not merely yourself?
Loving someone is a choice. Acceptance is a choice. Seeing beauty requires a choice too. The fact that we have free will means choosing to love and to see beauty, to see God at work in the world, does not depend so much on ability, but how much we want to see it and how we evaluate its existence. Not seeing things such as these does not mean they are not actually there.
I can’t help feeling that what you’re searching for most is the reality of God and His love in your life. It might seem hard, but remember it is not difficult for God. He already knows exactly what you’re feeling.
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:59 am
I know you are feeling sad and lonely. Your biggest problem is that you focus too much on the negative. You have a lot going for you and it’s OK to like who you are, what you do, and how you look. If you don’t like what you do and you are as smart as you say, do what inspires you. I think the issue here isn’t your ability, it’s your determination. You will never find happiness unless you make a plan. Put together a list of things you would like to accomplish, start with the most simple and tell yourself “I am going to do this”. Set a date and don’t make excuses. You said you want to write. Don’t start out thinking you have to create some grand novel. Start out with just a story and elaborate on that. If you do this for yourself and not because you want to make money, there is no doubt you will be successful.
As for your girlfriend, it’s time to move on. You either have it or you don’t and you don’t. It isn’t fair to waste her time waiting for you to change. You are not the kind of person who should be with one person. You should stay single and enjoy life, but be honest about it. Don’t make girls think you are in anyway interested in a committed relationship. You are far too narcissistic for that.
October 11th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Stay focussed on all the great things you believe in. You are not alone, i think the way you (we) feel is so common, only you are lucky to be able to find the words to harness and describe this feeling. This alone is the first step to finding a solution. You are clearly creative, i think creatives will always be searching for a higher calling, a purpose, a way to truly express themselves and a way to really feel alive. Take it slow, i can’t say this from experience but i do believe it will come - you have to learn to love yourself, believe in yourself and be yourself, and then really living will follow. And don’t be fooled, others may look happy and “forefilled” but the feelings you have a shared worldwide. Think about it from this way, to an outsider, would you seem happy?
October 13th, 2008 at 1:06 am
…it is coming, all of it. first of all, pick up the pen and write about how you communicate. How would you mentally fax the girl of your dreams?…if you can figure out that, then you should mentally fax her everyday until she switches the phone onto fax mode, picks up and returns your message…aka, go find your passion! Do whatever it takes and the girl and happiness will follow, its a promise…