Dear God,
dear devine universe,
dear my unborn daughter,
I know that you are all one.
You have been with me for the past eight weeks, yet I know that we’ve been together through eternity.
But we will have to say goodbyes to each other tomorrow morning, at least for time being in this physical world. I know you understand the situation & I felt your forgiveness.
For a little while, I experienced the rest of my life with you. Watching you grow .. turning into a beautiful woman.
But my current situation is very difficult. I wish that things were different & I could have in my life. But for now, it’s on hold I guess.
I hope we come across in each other’s way again one day. And have you join the rest of our family, including your father and your two brothers.
I feel your love, beauty & light. And I am so sorry that I have to do this to us tomorrow.
I will always be with you no matter what.
Love Mom, California/USAShare:
April 30th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
choose life…..its worth it.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Please think about this. You will regret it one day. God will find a way for this to be.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Although it may seem like a good idea and the only option, the long term effects are painful and certainly not worth it. This thing in your body is more than a feutus. it is your child. I pray you give your child the gift of life.
April 30th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
make your own choice. listen to your own body, your own heart. If you can’t give that child the world for now then so be it.
April 30th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Please reconsider.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:09 am
God, if there is a way for this family to be together here on this earth, so Mom can have a daughter, so Dad can have a little girl and be wrapped around her finger, so her brothers can protect her on the playground and pick on her at home, will you bring it about? I pray that You will give these parents courage and strength as they look for solutions, that You will guard and mend their little family, that You will give them peace as they battle tough choices tomorrow. Remind them that You can still work whether there is money in the bank or not, good health or not, a secure future or not. Remind them in a million tiny ways tomorrow, and let them trust you to make their family whole.
May 1st, 2008 at 1:07 am
It takes something like this to put things all back into perspective.
I know what I believe, what I think, what I feel.
But who am I am to put that onto someone else.
I mean, especially in such a situation.
Follow your heart.
May 1st, 2008 at 2:29 am
Tomorrow morning is now. Please, if you are reading this, I hope you changed your mind. There is someone out there who can’t have children and would love to have this little girl. Please reconsider. The consequences of proceeding are far greater than not. If you absolutley can’t keep her, give her to someone who will give her the wonderful life that she deserves.
May 1st, 2008 at 3:09 am
My prayers are with you, I know in life we all have to make tough choices. I am sure you have thought this through thoroughly. No matter your choice, I hope everything works out for the better.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:31 am
One of the most beautiful acknowledgements I’ve ever seen here.
You are so courageous. I admire your gentleness and your fortitude, for sometimes making the right decision can be really hard. The integrity of your decision assures me that not only are you a wonderful mom to your other 2 children, but also a wonderful human being. I respect your decision, and am sure your little daughter does too…. becausue It’s made with love and consideration.
Wishing you well.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:38 am
Choose life…..your mom did!!
May 1st, 2008 at 7:42 am
I was in the same situation 6 years ago and I chose to give my daughter life, and that’s the best decision that I could have made…she is an angel sent to me from God! Do what’s in your heart!
May 1st, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Mei Mei - That is beautiful that you chose to give your daughter life and shared that with us.
It may just give that hope someone needs to make a decision.
Let’s pray that the mother who wrote this is given guidance from God and that whatever decision she makes, that it’s the right one for her.
x
May 3rd, 2008 at 4:21 am
This is not an easy choice to make, but it is yours to make. I admire your strength and honesty.
May 3rd, 2008 at 8:41 am
It’s murder. . .
May 3rd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I was in your situation 16 years ago. I was alone, single, pregnant, and just broke up with the baby’s father. I left him and found out I was pregnant. I thought after leaving his father I would have a new life ahead of me. Finding out I was pregnant was devastating! After agonizing over it, I decided to have my son. Today, he is my pride and joy, my biggest fan, always loving, always encouraging me. (I will be graduating from College finally after leaving when I had him! Through it all, he encraged and supported me!) He is now a Sophomore in high school.
His compassion amazes me! He has become a highly intellect person who is in honors classes in school! He knew as a single parent I could not provide him all he wanted and needed, yet, he is the first to say “I know you love me mom and if you could, you would give me the world. And finally, he had dreams and ambitions.
To me, my sacrifice is worth it seeing my son everyday! I know it may seem like you cannot handle another child right now for what ever reason, but my sister, God always provides if you are faithful, and you believe! He has always provided for us. No matter what anyone else says here to you, you are a good person, God loves you and because of that, he gave you this child. Turn to him. You will know what is right.
If you already did it, turn to him for forgiveness. He will forgive!
May 4th, 2008 at 1:58 am
mom
you will regret it big time.i hope you havent already done it.
all a child needs is your love and it sounds like you have already started to love her
i wish i could understand why!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 4th, 2008 at 5:47 am
Get it over and done with and move on, there are to many people in the world as is
May 4th, 2008 at 9:15 am
I’m praying for you.
I hope you’ll choose life. I hope God will clear your heart and give you the strength and determination to give birth to your girl instead of not giving her the chance to meet you. I hope you’ll get to see her eyes, I hope you’ll get to hold her in your arms and kiss her and feel you’ve done the right thing.
Mum, I’m praying for you.
May 4th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I appreciate all of your comments. Thank you.
When I wrote originally, a part of me really wanted to keep her, especially I am a mother already. But came to conclusion that I will go a head with the precedure. Actually I had another week to think it over.
One thing I didn’t mention was that I had this moment, a few days before I wrote the letter, where I saw my daughter holding me-& she was an adult already-this is the way I saw her soul, & she held me & told me that it’s okay. & she will enter into another body.
I had the operation done today. A friend of mine’s mother gave me reike before I went in. & eventhough I was very scared, I meditated and gave protection to myself & to the baby, before I fell asleep.
When I woke from the surgery, I felt & knew that all went well. Strange to say, but I felt a lot of light and love. I thank the baby & God for this experience. & I thank all of you for your prayers, even though most of you felt differently.
May 11th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Very well said, GR.
For the rest of you - it’s very easy to tell someone who you don’t know to “choose life.” It’s very easy to judge from afar and then go about your daily business; she will have to live with the consequences of this decision — either way — for the rest of your life.
Rather than telling her what to do, why not offer to help? Give her the money, time, health or decent environment that she needs to live with this baby?
I thought not.
May 12th, 2008 at 5:50 am
sad.
May 17th, 2008 at 12:27 am
The soul is a beautiful thing, and the fact you listened to y(our)s makes any situation regardless of social stigma or taboo one of authenticity and LIFE.
Energy is the flow of life, and if you can understand the situation around you with clarity what you want new life to have is clear.
Because you are coming away from this truly intimate experience feeling at peace with ALL souls involved, I (and everything around you) believe you made the right decision.
Kudos to you for UNDERSTANDING life. It’s smart, it’s soul.. it will find a way to manifest itself eventually.
Life doesn’t judge; only people.
Life flows.
May 24th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
totally totally agree with gr
May 31st, 2008 at 1:11 pm
This is possibly the most beautiful and touching thing I’ve read on this site. I admire the courage and strength that allows you peace in knowing that your relationship with your God, the universe, and daughter is yours only and beyond what other’s may feel is wrong or right. Thank you so much for your honesty, sincerity, and love.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:57 am
A lot of you are saying its MURDER, or its your choice and it is her choice and i guess its murder in someways but is there really a right or wrong decision?…my mom did that twice…told no body not even my father…(btw its just me ma mom and dad. ) anyways i found out on my own… i have never told my mom but i feel a loss when i think that there could have been 2 other kids besides lonely old me. on the other hand my good friend was raped…. got pregnant and decided to do it. there she made the right decision… she knew that she couldn’t take care of it and never wanted to see it ever, if it was adopted. she knew she was too young to be a mother and thought that it was not right to bring a n person into this world who coulkdn’t be provided for and end up lonely.
i can’t say that there is a wrtong or a right it all depends on the circumstances and how you feel about it….
god forgives us all, evern wen we make mistakes that others can’t forgive.
my prayers go out to you, because i know how hard it must have been to make that decision, but if it was best for the people in your family that are already alive…than im glad u made that decision.
Best of wishes =]
June 23rd, 2008 at 7:45 am
God gives us life ofr a reason….His reason. And He also allows women to get pregant for a reason. We may think of ‘accidents’ as bad timing, but God’s timing is ALWAYS pefect. The life inside you is a baby, not just a lump of tissue. Your baby wants to beborn and to be able to run, jump, laugh and play. God wants the same thing for you and your baby. If you do not allow your baby to have life, God will not condemn you, but He wil forgive you, any time yo ask Him. I urge you to do the best thing in the world & ask God what He wants; then wait patiently for Him to answer….He will.
August 18th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
that baby is going to FEEL everything i cant believe you
August 18th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
that baby is going to FEEL everything i cant believe you can be so selfish
August 19th, 2008 at 12:46 am
don’t do it please……
if god don’t want you to do something important he will never thought about creating you from the start
you are for a reason
please just wait
please
Jesus loves you
You Are In His Hands
shady boktor
UAE
September 11th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I can feel your pain…your guilt. I, too, had to make this difficult choice 8 years ago. I still think about him every once in a while. I never officially found out he was a boy, but in my heart, I knew he was my son. I chose to end his life. Just typing that last sentence has tears streaming down my face. It hurts…it will always hurt. I’ve asked God and my unborn innocent son for forgiveness. I feel like they have forgiven me, but I have not yet forgiven myself. The guilt and the pain is not worth it. If it’s not too late, have your daughter. She is a gift from above. If you’ve already made your decision to let her go, then so be it. I am not going to judge you. But, you will judge yourself.
October 1st, 2008 at 11:03 am
please don’t go through with this! Your daughter deserves life!
October 27th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
you and me are two of many. My heart feels for you. I greive everyday for my decision. There is one thing that helps me sleep through the night, and it is the vague memory of my last moment with my unborn child. My baby……. i said I love you, I love you more than you will ever know, and in a perfect world I would love you even more than anything, but I have to say farewell right now and I wish with all my heart that one day we will meet again. and I begged god to please watch over my beautiful life i’d given away. My biggest fear is that I will never get to have a baby. like i will be punished for my choice, which was the only one i felt i had. I dont know where i’ll manifest this feeling to rectify my choice. I do to believe that my baby is one with the universe, and that one day we will meet and it will be the most beautiful serene joyful blessing, and simply life go’s on. Sending my love.