Dear God,
What is it about me? Why did you let that man force himself upon me when i was 7? Why did you let my mom marry an abusive alcoholic man that became my stepfather? Why did you give my aunt cancer and take her away from me? Why am I in the middle of my family fighting again? Why is it that as soon as I feel good about coming out to the world as a bisexual, you take the one that I love away from me? Why are you against me being happy? Why does everything happen to me? Why?
Sandra, Indiana/USA
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May 19th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Have you ever ‘thank’ God for whatever happens in your life? Have you ever stop to keep on asking “why” and say “thank you” more?
Living a Christian life by believing in Him is not gonna make your life free from problems. It got bigger, trust me.
As a human being, I try to feel your pain. And I can say that it has been a very uncomfortable and painful situation.
But, friend..please start to begin and end your day by praying. Give Him a chance to get closer and closer to you. And when the time comes, you’ll know how precious you are to Him.
Please be strong
May 20th, 2008 at 1:52 am
There is not perfect happiness and God has nothing to do with it. Happiness is inside us and it depends on our attitude towards life. Yes, you have had a lot of problems, but at the heart of each one of them, there is something you have to learn in order to be, well yes, happy. That is your responsibility, to make yourself strong enough to, no matter what kind of test God gives you, you can grow up as a human been.
Good luck!
May 20th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Sandra…
You are on the right path..keep talking to God and asking him questions.
Pour out your disappointment, your pain and anger .
Sometimes all you need to FIND God is a NEED..
God does not want you to be unhappy..
But he does want you to seek him..by that i mean spend time with him.
Try to get to know him..Ask him for peace, ask him
to show you who he is..ask him to take control of your life..
Ask him for Divine Intervention
If you pay close attention you will become aware of Gods hand in your life.
I pray that God will touch your life in a way that will show you
that you are not alone..
You are LOVED so much..
May 27th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
Re the comments above: how can people BE this blind? (And cruel.) This poor woman has been through so much pain, and yet - God loves her? He has a funny way of showing it. Be yourself, Sandra. Stop looking to ‘God’: He clearly isn’t there.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Surely not everything that happens in your life is bad.You should take time and thank God for the things that you do have because of His grace.Do not focus on the pain alone, seek God and you shall find him,He is there just waiting for you.He wants you to be happy.Yes things don’t always work out the way we want them to but that is not because God is just out to get you.He loves you dearly.Yes in life you will face trials and tribulations but it is there that you should seek God the most.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:27 am
i think that the best thing that you can do is…. LIVE . try to stop thinking about wat has happened.. and think about wat will happen and how you’ll make it happen. KEEP PRAYING… . all thoose things that have happened to you..people did them out of their own FREE WILL. it wasn’t god choice to have your mom marry that guy. as for the fight bettween your families well , tell them all to bugger off…. its none of your concern if they have issues with each other tell them to speak to that person NOT TO YOU…yes i no easier said then done…but it will work eventually.
God IS with you, ALWAYS!!!
besides wat doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…and i have a feeling whenall of this is said and done you will be one strong person!
best of wishes! =]
June 16th, 2008 at 11:08 am
The saying “That which does not kill you makes you stronger”? Doesn’t apply in the real world. All too often, it leaves you weak and damaged. But life goes on, as it always does. All you can do is keep moving forward, try and take comfort in the smaller pleasures (even if your overall circumstances aren’t the greatest). And just tell your family you’re going to stay away until they get over themselves.
September 25th, 2008 at 5:22 am
hey sandra. I hope you check back to read this. As much as this site is a dear-god site, i would like to perhaps just ask you to take a step back and not look at this from a christian perspective as yet or anything that involves God.
We all choose to do what we want yes? everyone makes choices.
- that “man” chose to do that to you when you were 7
- your mom chose to marry the abusive alcoholic man
- worry, pain, hurt, sin can come in forms of weakness. We all get sick all the time due to negligence e.g eat junk food
- your family are fighting. Over choices made? over disagreements of thought? these are all part of what we think, what we do it etc.
- you choose to come out bisexual, your partner could’ve chosen to cheat on you or dump you (or vice versa i’m just guessing here) each of you could’ve made choices that affected one another.
Everyone has their fair share or turmoils and shit. I have. I have been through a whole ruckus
and what i learnt is that all that shit happened because i made bad choices.
No doubt we make good choices as well.
concerning your parents, yes. This is cause and effect. They made the choices and it affects you. Your parents made bad choices and you are part of the consequence of their choices.
and now so this pertains to you. one hard question. - have You made bad choices?
Sandra out of all the people i read today i felt to write to you here.
Now to the God part. - God wants to make right all these wrong choices whether made by you, or by others for you or against you.
Regarding that man and your mom and step father. God never wanted those things to happen to you. However, your parents with the liberty to do what they want, chose to do those things and they affected you. God knows this and that alot of what happened to you wasn’t your fault. He wants to heal you and correct this mistakes. Everything bad that happens, God can fix and make it right.
I know you ask “then why didnt God stop it?! why did i have to be born into such a bloody shit family!”
honestly, i dont know. and you need to ask him. But overall i encourage you, to first foremost ask him to take away your pain caused by this. He will.
I’m very sorry about your aunt. I have a friend who is a missionary and her mother has cancer. and sometimes people ask how can that be? you’re serving God so faithfully. How can he allow your mother to have cancer?
sickness in today’s world is common. Compared to 600 years ago, people are living shorter lives now. pollution, processed foods.
we can do nothing about our dearly departed, but we can do something for our to-depart. Do you wonder about where we/they go after death? You must love your Aunt so much! And i’m sure you’d wanna make sure that she goes to heaven. Ask God how you can help for any other relative you care about so much.
I would like you to consider what happened in that relationship that caused it to break down.
Surely it wasn’t so clear cut. You’re in alot of pain and hurt over this relationship.
would you agree that perhaps you “chose” the wrong person to be with?
or that your partner chose wrongly as well? or that he/she made bad choices just as you did?
God only wants the best for you.
But he can’t do this if you choose to keep going your own way.
Just try for one day, to make choices other than your own.
Challenge God. But be open.
Sandra, whatever you have been through, you are going to help many others who Were like you.
Wherever you’re at now in life, God is gonna pull you out of the ruckus you’re in.
Just ask him. Just tell him you want out and that is all that is needed.
All the things you have been through, God is gonna use these experiences to impact other people who feel lost.
All these things God is going to change for good and because of what you have been through, are equipped in this area, to help and pull other people out.
You are going to impact people’s lives because you have something about you that is different. You were made different. something so unique and special that is still undiscovered within you. Hidden under all the dirt that people have piled onto you and that you have piled unto yourself. You need to clear away all that dirt to find it. But you can’t clear it away yourself.
I think you know who can.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Because there is a God, then you feel the ache of lovelessness
And because there is a God, that is why he is going crazy trying to reach out to you.
The lesser of HIm, the harder it will get…