Dear God,
My best friend killed himself on January 15th 2008. He was the best kid I know, and I don’t see any reason why he doesn’t deserve to be in heaven. But, everything I know about my faith says he’s burning in hell right now. You wouldn’t do that to such a good guy who happened to mess up one time, would you?Brandon, Indiana/USA
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April 14th, 2008 at 11:40 am
One of my close friend who meant the world to me killed himself too (last year in Jan). I don’t think he is in hell nor heaven. But what is most important is that he is hurting no more. He is in peace. And for that I’m thankful.
We cannot determine what God does each and one of us. There were many biblical characters that had also committed suicide. (Samson for example). Whether one goes to hell or heaven is not determined by us or we cannot even assume anything.
So don’t worry, your friend is resting in peace.
April 14th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
The majority of faiths believe in some form of higher-power and a heaven-like-afterlife; none however can all agree conclusively on anything else. I think your friend is, where ever he thought he would be; if he believed he was going to heaven then thats where he will be. In the end we only condemn ourselfs. I cannot see how God would take no accountability, for allowing your friend to commit suicide, so God’s own “grand master plan” can play out as expected. And besides “no man”, not the pope or otherwise, can ever say that God plays “Xbox” or “Playstation”. Like Soo said, “We cannot determine what God does each and one of us.”
April 15th, 2008 at 1:54 am
Hell is only in your mind. As long you believe he was a good person, he will be in your private heaven: you heart!
Take care.
April 15th, 2008 at 2:17 am
I have to agree with the Soo & Cory. The God I believe in is a forgiving and loving one and I believe with all my heart that someone who is in enough pain to take their own life will be embraced in his arms and comforted. He is at peace with whatever Demons he was facing here on earth. It’s “religion” that makes all these rules up, not faith.
April 15th, 2008 at 2:23 am
Brandon, I truly don’t believe that a God who lovingly created us, in his image, would be so cruel as to create a hell for us to burn in. There simply would be no sense to it. God created us, knowing that we would not be perfect and would make mistakes. We were given free choice to live our lives in our own way. If everything was mapped out to the tee there would be no point to our existence.
Your friend made his own choices too, and he is loved by God regardless, not punished. The only ‘hell’ is the hell we created on earth.
I believe your friend is truly at peace now, in a different existence where the re is no pain for him anymore. I hope you find peace as well.
April 15th, 2008 at 2:56 am
I am sure your friend is resting in peace. God is compassionate and understands what made your friend end his life on this earth.
April 15th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I’ve always wondered the same thing. Do good people go to hell?
April 16th, 2008 at 2:01 am
Hell isn’t real. Your friend exists no more. He gave up a lot.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:54 am
There is no Hell. There’s no Heaven either.
He’s in that place you were in, before you were born.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:15 am
People that comit suicide don’t go to Hell, they leave Hell.
I’m very sorry for your friend.
April 16th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
The thing people who commit suicide don’t realise is that they are not the ones going to hell, the friends & loved ones who are left behind are. The end up enduring days/months/weeks/years of asking why/what could I have done/is it my fault/will my other friends or children do the same?
Quite often perfectly normal people (up to that point) become defined by the suicide of someone close to them (most commonly parent or sibling), their lives are now hinged on that one terrible day for the rest of their lives.
I don’t think Hell exists, but I do know that the hurt people who kill themselves leave behind exists all too often.
I am not condeming suicide, but every action has a reaction, and any homicide has grave consequences, even if the life you take is your own. Perhaps people should consider this before acting….
April 17th, 2008 at 1:57 am
depression is a fatal disease, and should be treated as one. sometimes it’s more about genes, chemistry and genetics than you actually might think. depression can, to some extent, be inherited.
from what i’ve heard, when a person makes her decission to take her life, that calms her and she comes a peace with herself. when a friend of mine took her own life, it helped me thinking that once she made up her mind, she was happy with her decision. she was living in hell, and so she left hell.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
for the last few years i have really struggled with the idea that people who are born into this world through no choice of their own can be sent to hell forever, whether or not they were good. we are all broken people at some point or another in our lives; we have all done bad and hurtful things. i don’t believe that people deserve eternal damnation when what we’ve had to help shape our lives is this world that we’ve broken so badly that we can’t heal it on our own. c.s. lewis depicts the possibilities of our journey through heaven and hell in a way that greatly comforts me in his book “the great divorce”. i would recommend it to anyone struggling with the idea of people being sent to hell. while we are responsible for ourselves and the choices that we make, i believe that god gives us a second chance, even after we’ve left this world. i hope we choose to take it.
April 20th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
“I truly don’t believe that a God who lovingly created us, in his image, would be so cruel as to create a hell for us to burn in. There simply would be no sense to it. God created us, knowing that we would not be perfect and would make mistakes. We were given free choice to live our lives in our own way. If everything was mapped out to the tee there would be no point to our existence.”
“i have really struggled with the idea that people who are born into this world through no choice of their own can be sent to hell forever, whether or not they were good.”
i totally agree with these 2 comments. god being “love” and “all-powerful” has got to save everyone right? he has both the motivation and power to. and why would he create the world only to end up destroying half of it?
April 28th, 2008 at 12:33 am
may I recommend the book:
The World According to Michael by Joya Pope — it may bring you some comfort.
God bless.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:43 am
I’m understand…
strong in believe…in Jesus name.
July 14th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Nothing we can do can bring us any closer or drive us away from gods unconditional love.
God is Grace. Grace is where we stand. Grace is where he rests.
November 10th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Brandon, I think your friend is in “heaven” because YOU loved him. You were the greatest person in his life, truly, because you cared so much. You are a good, loving person, and because you cared, God is taking care of your friend. You are loved.
February 25th, 2009 at 5:07 am
If he had his sins forgiven by Jesus before he did this terrible act, if it was truly just a moment of insanity I believe he is in Heaven. Jesus forgives our sins yesterday today and forever. If you were to be going over the speed limit today you would be breaking the law, and therefore sinning, if you crash and die because of it, will you go to Hell? I don’t think so.
May 4th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Dear human brothers and sisters,
When in the midst of horrible pain or suffering, our base human design of emotions mostly drives our thinking, as opposed to normal situations where our thinking controls our emotions.
As a person who’s brother OD’d on herion, lost my mother on Jan 1, 2009, New Year’s Day, have had physical pain, loss of job and finances, a five-year fall into major clinical depression, a son convicted at 18 for drug sales and a felony, and a spouse who has to be the most selfish, self-centered person I have ever met, and 3 attempts at suicide in one day, yet I can express some understanding and equality with all of you.
Please note this however, I am a Christian, not always was. Was born again, simply meaning I believed in God and Jesus but never actually met Him or really sought to meet Him. But He started pulling me toward him, I could feel it, and throug a series of events I lifted my hand and prayed that prayer you may or may not have ever heard, “Dear Jesus, I believe in you, and believe you died on the cross to pay for all of my sins. I ask you now to save me, take my life just as I am, and come into my heart and take control. You are my Lord and Savior. Thank you for this free gift of eternal life with you.”
Now as to opinions, no one writing here KNOWS someone went to Heaven because they were ‘good’. God wrote to us in the Bible, clearly stating, “our righteousness as like filthy rags” to God. Our relationships with God is NOT about ANY kind of goodness, good work, innocence, etc., on OUR part. If it were, then Jesus NEVER had to die on the cross, and God NEVER had to forgive us for our sins.
This is not about arguing with one another, it is about being open to God, not our OWN understanding of Him, and listen to what He says on the subject of life.
God clearly states there is a Heaven and Hell, physical locations that are not in our realm of existence, but actual places where people will go after death. So ALL people WILL live forever. Why? Because we are created in GOD’s image, and God IS eternal Himself.
So WHY? Why does “God” take our children, allow accidents, murder, rape, suicide, war, etc., etc.? Well you see, that is not REALLY the right question to ask God, at least not the primary question. Though He tell us very clearly that SIN (i.e. disobedience, self-chosen will, literally in the Greek, “missing the mark”, Adam and Eve, their choice is STILL the truth about why all these other things exist.
Did you know that in the Garden of Eden (read it for yourself in Genesis) there were TWO trees, not just the ‘tree of the knowledge of good and evil’. The other was the Tree of Life. How do we know? After Adam followed Eve’s lead, and their ‘eyes’ were opened (after Satan had tempted Eve by lying to her), God said (I’m paraphrasiing on this verse), “Look, the man and woman have sinned and now live in an evil state of existence. We need to kick them out of Eden before they eat from the TREE OF LIFE and live FOREVER.
Clearly the two had TWO choices, and they both KNEW they could eat ‘from any tree but the one in the center of the Garden”. So let’s settle it, the human race chose to disobey God, FORGET all the reasons WHY or WHY NOT that this happened at all. That is BEYOND our control, fair enough?
Now, at this moment, TODAY, the most important person in the world is YOU. I am referring to YOUR salvation, not some selfish motive, etc., but you OWN soul and your ETERNAL destination. After ALL I have been through, ESPECIALLY as a Christian who does know the Lord, and has a personal relationship with Him, if there is ONE thing God has revealed to me about HIS character, it is this: God allows pain to PUSH you to Him. The intent is NOT to push you away. In addition, you MUST be willing to believe in Satan if you also believe in God.
Satan lied to Eve, it was Satan who destroyed man’s hope, Satan who brings war, death, rape, greed, murder and destruction. Man is equally to blame as a WILLING participant. God does not ‘pull’ the trigger, MAN does. God does not rape, MAN does. God does not commit murder, MAN does. So let’s be honest and start with WHO is to BLAME for the state of our lives in this world.
God is GOOD, everything about Him is GOOD, because He NEVER changes in character. Look at the creation of the Earth itself. Take MAN away and you have a BEAUTIFUL world, fair enough? I don’t mean spiritually, but the Earth is a fabulously beautiful planet of oceans, plants, mountains, exotic islands, etc., etc. We look at the countryside, the mountains and beaches, the wonderful weather and summer breezes, we ENJOY the world. Well, who created the Earth? That’s right, “In the beginning, GOD created the heavens and the earth.” And you may have heard, “And God said, ‘It is good.’”
Yes, God knew we would fall, yes it ALWAYS feel unfair, but our feelings DON”T matter when it comes to WHO MAKES THE RULES.
So, as a person who has often ‘despaired of life’, even PAUL the apostle did NOT want to live here. As he wrote to one of the church’s in the Roman empire, he said, “I would much rather go to be with the Lord, but it is better for now that I stay here for your sake.” Get it? God does not condemn you for expressing your deep pain, even anger with Him, but EVERYONE is a sinner and is BORN a sinner (because of our ‘all-the-way-back-to-Adam-and-Eve’ human relationship). OUR nature nature simply cannot change on its OWN, because GOD must save us from ourselves, our sin.
Yes, it is fearful, very fearful to think of Hell. I am highly intellectual, and whenever I think of Hell, of the way Jesus described it as a place of torment, ‘weeping and grinding of teeth’, where a man asked Abraham (who he could see across a ‘gulf’ that was between them, “Please dip your finger in some water for me, I am suffering in this flame…” Yes, it is terrifying and there are no words that can express ETERNAL separation from God in this manner. YES, it does not SEEM fair!
BUT… if God offers you a FREE gift, NO effort on your part, NO good works, NO schooling, NO degree, NO high mountain to climb, ocean to swim, hit yourself on the back 50 times a day, NOTHING on your part except a humble agreement and acceptance of forgiveness, then WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
So enough rambling. You now have the truth to face, yes or no. God IS real, he DOES love you, He DID come to this earth to SHOW that love to you by freely DYING and suffering a VERY painful death (I mean, we are talking GOD becoming an ant-like mortal human being). He DID rise from the dead to PROVE He has complete control OVER death and Hell. He IS the Creator, and He is ALL-powerful, BUT don’t FEAR coming to Him. Satan HATES you, God LOVES you and is WAITING for you to CALL to Him to SAVE your soul from Hell.
Just DO IT… Pray RIGHT NOW… be honest, be yourself, be humble and just TALK to God, do it in FAITH, just say, “God, in faith I call out to you to save my soul. I believe Jesus came to this Earth, was born and lived the same human life as i do, yet He is God and you chose to reveal yourself to me in this way. I know I have missed the mark, and so there is not one good work or action I can do to save myself. I believe that Jesus died to pay for all of my sins, past, present and future, and that you promised if I come to you, you will hear my prayer and give me, as you do anyone who asks, the gift of eternal life with you. So I accept your free gift, I give you my life right now. Come and live inside me by your Holy Spirit and reveal Yourself to me. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
If you prayed this prayer and were serious with God, then God is serious with you and HAS heard you, and you ARE now saved. For some, a feeling will happen. For others, there is no real emotion. But rest assured, God will begin to reveal Himself to you because you are now one of HIS kids, one of God’s family, and He has promised to NEVER, EVER, let go of your soul. EVER. You are going to Heaven!
May 26th, 2009 at 4:21 am
My friend, I am really sorry to hear about that. I got the news a few minutes ago that a friend of mine killed himself a day ago. It is a shock to hear, and my thoughts and condolences are with you at this time.
Sometimes, I fail to understand why an omnipotent, all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving God would allow someone to suffer as horribly as that in life, never mind in death, and though I believe in a sort of an afterlife (involving a type of reincarnation rather than heaven and hell), I think it’s a waste of time to think about whether my friend is anywhere else (and if so, where or what), because there’s nothing I can do to help, and I suppose the same applies to you. However, remember that he isn’t going to suffer in this life anymore. I’m hard pressed to know whether I can say the same about heaven or any other afterlife theory, but Hell is a nonexistent place, a manifestation of our fears in our minds, so either way, your friend is not going to suffer any longer. If God is a true all-loving character, he will look after your friend anyway.
But if it is any help to you, I want you to remember one thing. I used to go to a maths class when I was 11 in a church, which contained the phrase “SAY NOT IN GRIEF THEY ARE NO MORE BUT LIVE IN THANKFULNESS THAT THEY WERE” carved into the plaque, and you should bear that in mind, believing or not. Remember the positive things about your experiences with your friend, and focus on them. It helped me when my old teacher died.
I hope this helps heal your emotional wounds.