Dear Life Spirit,Who am I? What was I put on this earth to achieve? I ask these questions only because I’ve been trying to find an identity. For years I think I’ve been living life like a kind of machine. I work for a big corporation and I’m not close to my family. I have a wife but no children and, I’m ashamed to say, I don’t want them but don’t have the guts to tell her. Why am I living this life like a sleepwalker – a job I don’t like, a wife I don’t really love? I never talk about my true feelings like this with anyone. But this feels good. I’m glad I’ve done it. Dave Stewart, ArkansasShare:
April 7th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Dear Dave,
If something feels right, it’s mostly safe to do it and to follow this feeling or to use usual term “follow your heart”. I am sorry to hear that you feel so about your life and I think you are scared of changes, because these are what you exactly need to get happy with yourself and the life you are living. Find joy in your life and start with something small, like something you do not everyday, e.g. candlelightdiner with your wife (Would also help you find the love) or go out and meet new people. Do not be scared of your life, you are only living once, remember this! Changes are not as negative as you think they are. I hope I can help you with my impression of zour situation.
The Best
Max
April 10th, 2008 at 6:44 am
Dave,
Identity is something that is hard to find. It is something that so many people yearn for. The question of why you are here, trying to gather the purpose behind your existence is like a heavy yoke laid upon your shoulders. You want to know exactly why it is you exist and what it is you are here for. The pursuit of happiness and the pursuit of identity run hand in hand. Neither can exist without the other truth be told. If you are happy and have no sense of identity than you must question exactly why it is your happy and why that makes you happy. If you have a sense of identity than you have a sense of fulfillment, contentment, peace, and even happiness if you pursue your purpose well. I have to disagree with the follow your heart approach to life. I think it is a worldly cliche that can lead you down a variety of dark paths. I believe we live in a broken world, a world that strives to fulfill its purpose by running down perverted paths to perverted ends. I believe that we were indeed created by God, an Omnipotent and Omnipresent Holy and righteous God. We were created for His glory and for His purposes. I believe in the fall of man kind, in the story of Adam and Eve and the garden of Eden.
Looking past all predispostitions towards Biblical world views, I ask you to attempt to look through this as though it were the lens on a pair of glasses. The lens, created and provided so that you may see more clearly that which is the truth. Man fell in the garden of Eden, man fell into sin which then seperated us from God (Holy, perfect, and righteous). This seperation was not a surprise, it did not catch God off guard, rather, according to belief in HIs sovereignty… It was all for His glory. The purpose behind our existence is for the worship and Glory of God. We long to worship, as individuals and as a society; it is a part of who we are. We are made to worship. Wether it be a totem pole, buddha, zeus, The Los Angeles Lakers, BIll CLinton, Martin Luther King Jr, Dallas Cowboys, Playboy centerolds, corvettes, Three story mansions, clothes, jewelry, volcanoes, mountains, oceans, birds, bugs, the sun or even the earth… we as an existence long to worship. We will find something to worship. Wether it be conciously or subconsiously, we will do all we can to fulfill our purpose, even though the fulfilling of is outside of our strenght and born capability. IT doesnt matter how much money you make, how poor you are, who you know, or how nice you can be. It won’t get you any closer to fulfilling your purpose of worship. Your relationship with God, your creator, your father, your provider, and the lover of your soul… was broken in the garden of eden. You live in sin, your very nature is sin and there is not a thing you can do to fix it. Because of this sin, there is not a thing you can do that will bring you closer to God, your father, creator, and lover of your soul. You cannot fulfill the purpose of your existence, and you cannot know your identity. There is more to say… when you are ready.
April 15th, 2008 at 7:34 am
Maybe you weren’t put here to achieve anything. Maybe you were put here just to be here.
April 15th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Ony watch things without comment and you will see.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
I feel your pain. I am in first year university, which is younger than you by the sounds of it. I am trying to figure out what exactly I have to do for the rest of my life, a very daunting task you can probably recall. This year, I missed many classes, and was completely un-motivated to study, my parents are both engineers playing in the rat race, and obviously want me to achieve highly. Yet the more I look into it the more I wonder what is the point…who am I? I think it is important to find a job you love, in the end “god” won’t be looking at how wealthy you are, your last paycheck won’t be mentioned at the funeral, your car, or house is not coming with you into that tiny space five feet under. The only thing that matters is that you live on in the hearts you influenced. To live forever, is to live on in the livings hearts. I just want to go into the mountains and make ends meet while skiing and having fun everyday. Our world is far to lost to fix anything, the problem is at the peoples feet, but they refuse to suck up their pride and look down. We function for materialism and money, violence and hate, rich and poor. We don’t give a damn about the third world labourers just as much people as we, working their ass of each day, while we exploit the very resources they need to end their lives of poverty, just to clothe, feed, and entertain you. If everyone lives like the modern countries we would need three earths to support the current population disregarding growth and the millions of other species we share it with. I don’t speak for everyone, but most. Just something to think about.
I personally am going to try and right these injustices during my life, and just enjoy what I have been given. It is not every eternity you had a chance to come into existence.
April 15th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
ask God for a sign and follow it. never be afraid of the risk or challenge.
do it my friend.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:09 am
You are a single stone dropped into a pond of life. You will affect those around you and in turn they will affect others. What you decide to do with your life is completely in your hands. Find joy in that freedom and then touch other’s lives and watch the ripples in the pond of life. Never give up, never give in Dave.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:36 am
First, if you feel like you are just going through the motions, first you need to determine WHY you chose those motions to begin with. Marrying your wife seemed like a good idea at one time. Getting your job (and not changing it) seemed like a good idea at one time. And not being close to your family seemed like a good choice, even if for no other reason than that you were busy when you thought of them and didn’t think of them when you weren’t. Don’t blame anyone other than yourself in these reasons — even if you were talked into a choice, you were the one who accepted their reasoning and went through with it.
Don’t discount that you may actually like your job and love your wife or even eventually want a child. You may have distanced yourself from your family for good reasons…. This is likely a confusing time and you don’t want to do permanent damage unless you are sure it is what has to happen. Talk to a counselor or therapist about your feelings if you can’t seem to work it out on your own.
There is a bright side: you can change everything. Even if your wife grew to be someone you don’t love, you may still grow to love her again — marriage counseling can be very helpful if you can’t talk to her about it without hurting her feelings. Get a different job. Move to a different city or country. Call your family. Go for a degree or new skill. Find some subject, activity, cause, or group in which you are truly interested. Do things that would make you appreciate your life and what it has to offer: “If you can’t appreciate what you’ve got, then you better get what you can appreciate”.
Acheive a life well-lived and well-appreciated…
May 16th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
i think you’ve been playing it safe. its all i can say from what i’ve read. i think people are afraid most of the time. sure we try to hide it but in the end that wont make us happy. and honestly there is no need to be afraid. if something seems right just do it. people have one general thing in common: A CRAVING TO BE APPRECIATED. do what feels right to you and dont settle for second best. you WILL get ridiculed along the way but out of over 6 billion people in the world you wil find somewhere you fit in.it not about who you are. what steortype best descirbes you. its about where you like to be and who you want to be there. you can find those things if you just open your eyes. go out there and live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xx
May 17th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
i think you need to break routine do something wild crazy exciting!!! or better yet before do something fun sort out your lose ends. go away for a weekend just you at some quiet silent place and think just simply think.think about everything,about your job ,your wife and ask youself if your truley in the depth of your heart happy. the hppy where you feel like just smileing randomly becasue a tiny little thing made you think of one big giant happy memory. get your answers and move on to some new life questions. becasue it seems you have been asking your self the same questions for a while now and wont stop until someone tells you an answer. But the questions your aksing can only be answerd by you. and once youve answerd them
you can either look at the broken pieces of your answers on the floor and try your hardest to pick them up.
or you can leave your answers there and move on.
your choice
peace love and new tee shirts for all xxx
June 12th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
hi Dave, be honest with ur true feelings, maybe you’re GAY;p There’s nothing wrong being honest in what you feel, trust me, always remember: “the truth will set u you free!!!”
August 10th, 2008 at 1:17 am
Tell your wife how you feel, she might feel the same. Little pink houses aren’t for everyone. Take a year off to travel, do something reckless and immature and totally worth it. You both might have a different perspective afterwards.
September 30th, 2008 at 8:24 am
I will so depressed, after I read all this.
Next year I have to go to university, but I am so unsure about it.
I just want to go travel for a year and do things, different from studying. But that way, I loose one year in the university.
Life is so strange and unsure thing.
September 30th, 2008 at 8:24 am
I fill so depressed, after I read all this.
Next year I have to go to university, but I am so unsure about it.
I just want to go travel for a year and do things, different from studying. But that way, I loose one year in the university.
Life is so strange and unsure thing.
October 31st, 2008 at 3:32 pm
We were all created to praise God but satan through a monkey wrench in the garden of eden and caused man to fall from grace, Then God sent his only begotten son name Jesus to retrieve us, and that’s why he died for us so that we might be reconciled back to the Lord God to live and be happy and praise him for all eternity. Once you have Christ in your life you will have filled that void that you are experiencing. That is who you are a “fallen child of God who needs to return to his Father the King of Kings,” but you can only return through believing that he sent his only begotten son Jesus that whosoever believe in him and call upon his name shall be saved. Then find a church that believes the same and is a bible based church that incorporates the old and new testements { the entire bible } in their belief.
November 12th, 2008 at 3:48 am
NOT ONE PERSON MENTION THES PEOPLE MIGHT NEED MEDICATION– some people think taking medication is bad, but if your mother drank or smoked when she was pregnant with you, this will cause a chemical imbalance, in addition to all the crap that is in our food, some people react differently. I have been on medication since I was 21 years old, I wish I had taken it when I was in high school. I have always been depressed. with medication, I can have a have a job, an a relationship. I think if I didn’t take medication, I would have killed myself along time ago. I just keep believing that GOD has a plan for me. I am 38 years old and I am still searching for my meaning, but its like a game, GOD can’t tell you what your supossed to do, you have to figure it out on your own “free will” — but remember the devil is always there to pull you to his side. — Try this test. GO to church on a sunday, and notice how your week goes. you will notice how everything seems to go smoothly that week. you seem more calmer, more patient, more happier. — you notice how blessed you are.
November 20th, 2008 at 11:40 am
listen you cannot ask god for anything. he gave you everything you need to accomplish everything you want. it is up to you to see how far you go. now this requires an enormous amount of will power, and courage. i have learned that when you want something or find out something you have to work hard at it. it is easier to seek this than it is to do so because i am having some trouble as well. by people asking god for everything will only make you weaker and religh on him. trust me work as smart and hard as you can and you will find out anything you want. just do what you believe is correct and god will shine his plan upon you.
February 5th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
I will pray for you
March 13th, 2009 at 6:53 am
Contact the National Institute of Marriage in Branson, MO. They do amazing things with married couples - even the ones who don’t feel like they love one another anymore. It’s cheaper than a divorce or a suicide - neither of those is very beneficial. Prayers to you.