Dear God, I feel as if I’m not going anywhere. I’m stuck in the same routine.I used to dream about college, how great it’s going to be, and all the things i was going to accomplish, but now I don’t dream anymore. School is now boring to me. I can’t concentrate and I’m failing 2 possibly 3 of my classes and I don’t seem to be the same fun loving person i used to be. So, please just help me to become the person I used to be. The one who had goals and worked hard to meet them, but had fun while he was doing it.
John - California/USA
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April 9th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
I feel exactly the same way. I feel like college is destroying everything I used to consider “myself.”
What do we do?
April 9th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Everyone has a time just like what you are going now. not just College but everything. Sometimes we confuse about ourself, but that’s the way of the life, just try to find someting what joy you, after awhile, you will be fine.
April 9th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
i went through the same thing a few years ago.
it went on and on for 3 years, it got to the point of my having suicidal thoughts.
until i finally decided enough is enough. i packed my bag and flew half way around the world, leaving everything i have behind.
i am now a happy, very happy person.
April 10th, 2008 at 3:16 am
I feel it too. I reread journal entries from high school and want to meet that amazing person, ask her questions about how she lives, how I should live. I guess rather than idoling my past itself I should return to the things I held near and dear then and rebuild it all, knowing now that it was precious, but never invincible.
April 10th, 2008 at 7:00 am
Hello,
My name is Snejana Farberov, and I am a reporter for the Columbia News Service, carried by the New York Times News Wire to 400 papers around the country. I have stumbled upon this Web site a few days ago, and the concept behind it really fascinated me. I am looking to write an article about new ways in which people connect to God and find spirituality in their lives using modern technology.
I would like to have the chance to talk to people from this Web site about their spiritual experiences that broguht them to this unusual forum. Please e-mail me if you’re interested at sf2345@columbia.edu.
Best regards,
Snejana Farberov
April 10th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Hang in there dude, been through more studies than I got fingers on one hand. Failed at all and finally came to the realisation that some people can’t be formed, because they are whole to begin with…
I now own and run several succesful businesses (all of the ‘green/environmentally sound’ type), but still run into people looking down on me for not having an official education…
Like TJ said: sometimes enough is enough; go explore your true self. You will be all the happier once you do something close to your heart, no matter what that is…
Good luck!
April 10th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
If you got your expectations high because of early motivation this does not make them right.
Somehow, you got the idea that this was what you needed, when that might not be true at all.
Are you studying what you want to study, or what other people have decided you should want to study?
Deciding who you are and what you want is what you are doing NOW.
Would you like someone else to decide who you are and what you want for you?
That can be arranged….
April 12th, 2008 at 3:09 am
Man have I been there… and frequently I return to visit. It happened in college and still happens 3 years into the “real world” and it’s just a matter of finding the things you enjoy and focusing on the parts of your day that you really enjoy. Monotony will get the best of everyone in nearly every area of their life.
Hang in there and do your best to find the areas of your life that you really enjoy and make the most of those situations. Failing classes is disappointing but in the larger scope of things it’s not the end of the world. When you begin to get those feelings of joy and fulfillment back, the grades will inevitably return to normal.
Life ebbs and flows and we just need to do what we can to experience the ride both good and bad.
April 14th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
My best advice to you would be to not expect the state you used to be in to ever return to you. You’re actually denying yourself of a present because you long for the past. At least that is what I did for almost 5 years. Try to find some ways to learn from your mistakes and make every following day a great day that is different, exciting, full of new discoveries and surprises. I had a really rough time with school myself. Just understand that a lot can be learned from failing forwards. I’m not saying it is the right thing to do, but if it is all you can do (and God knows that was me for several years in college), just embrace the experience to help you figure out how to get things right. Take care and God bless…
-Burton
p.s. I feel like I just gave advice to myself 9-10 years ago.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:20 am
Hey Dude.
I have studied many times over many years. Just about every course I ever did, half way through i would lose motivation and get the blues. I only have some simple suggestions. If you feel that it is best to soldier on and finish this course of study ( I know I could never quit because i could not live with myself) then stop late nights, drinking, etc. Go jogging or swimming or similar everyday, this will clear your head and make you feel generally healthier and happier and more capable, get some regular good sleep, and TALK to as many students doing the same course as you, advisors/tutors on the course and find out what are the minimum requirements for PASSING these courses. if you are on the course to begin with then you must have the brainpower to fullfill these requirements. Persevere, do a bit every day. When the course is finished go travelling or do something completely different and reflect on what you want to do next, something that will hold your interest longer. I know a few people who ‘dropped out’ of courses and despite denials and rationalisations, eventually they all admit that they wish they had stuck it out. Good luck.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:29 am
Listen to the silence inside yourself
April 15th, 2008 at 7:55 am
John, honey…
try doing the opposite - in everything you do -
example : self indulgent ? Volunteer - help others
lots of partners ? take a celibate break
lots of sleep ? get less ( or, vice versa )
spending too much $$$ ? spend zip for awhile
eating junk ? eat whole foods
Shalom !
Col, in Canada
( 57 & getting wiser )
April 15th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
The thing is, you’re not exactly the same person you used to be - you’re older. Life is a path that goes one way, and not in circles.
The good news is, you’re young and having some angst is what being young is all about. And if at your core you are someone who is ambitious naturally, then this will come back!
I also fully believe that if things are a bit lacklustre, then doing something more distracting is a great idea. Why not defer college and go trekking through the Andes or something. College will still be there when you get back - all worldly and rugged.
April 16th, 2008 at 1:23 am
Maybe you are just bored with what you are studying. Goto Career Services and take one of their tests so they can show you what you could be good at…. once you have a goal YOU want to achieve it will make things easier.
April 16th, 2008 at 3:59 am
i am giving advice to myself too. ive been in your position twice.
i think u need to hit rock bottom, before you can start afresh. just put everything aside for a week or two, dont force yourself to study, and do something else.
then when you come back, you realise things are in shambles, then u will have the motivation to buck up.
well.. its not like im really bucking up furiously.. but its a little better than a few weeks ago.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:08 am
Dear John,
Here is my reading on the subject.
You are at the end of a cycle. You are tired from the long journey and must somehow muster up the will and motivation to complete the task at hand. Your journey is almost over.
You are at a crossroads between being a boy and being a man. It is a bittersweet time in life. You are very inventive in your mental area and will soon find something to amuse you once again. It looks like you have have not been recently successful in the emotional arena, which may all be part of your coming to terms with your next phase of life.
Try not to be depressed as this is just a process and it is nothing to beat yourself up over. Try to be patient and enjoy where you are right now in time. You will never be here again. One day you will look back fondly on this time.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Sometimes in life we have to clear the slate and start over. I dropped out of college and moved halfway across the US, away from everyone I know. I did this to be with a guy that I only knew for like 8 months. Then he went on deployment for 6 months. This was the best descision that I ever made. Start over, dont run away from your problems or anxieties, let yourself let go of the ones that are pointless, and solve the other ones. Feel free to let yourself be happy.
April 21st, 2008 at 6:31 pm
If you talk to your friends I think you will find they all feel this way. It’s normal. It’s part of growing up. You are always growing and improving, even though it doesn’t always seem that way. I failed some of my classes and I thought it was the end of the world. It’s not. You just get on with it and take classes you like and enjoy. They won’t be easy all the time but you will have more fun if you study what you are interested in. And if you don’t know what that is then take a trip to somewhere new, and go by yourself. You will talk to new people and have alot of time to think about what you really want. But don’t ever quit just because it’s hard. And remember to take time to laugh (cliche but so true!)
Have faith in yourself.
May 16th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
find what you REALLY want… pehaps your losing track becuase you really dont want to be that person you were. perhaps you’ve found new dreams and asspirations which you wish to acheive; but its just hard to let go of what you’ve wanted since you were a kid. pehaps you feel in a way giulty for thinking of ditching all you ever wanted to be and all you ever knew was right growing up. i felt that way… i stuck with things i didn’t love because i believed people expected me to stay at them, i stuck at them becuase i started them as an eager child that wanted to be world champ. but the minute you start to question something maybe its just not worth doing. find what you want and go for. if you find out its not what it craked up to be. do somthing new. take up knitting or join a cooking class. don’t live in the past… becuase the past keeps getting further away… and you dont want to lose urself completly
July 21st, 2008 at 5:52 pm
I ever were as same as you. You are lucky person. God call you to being stuck before you can drive yourself. For myself, I solve my problem by,firstly, I realize that I can not live in this world by financial problem. I defined my financial problem is not just rich or poor, but mean how well does I manage to my financial situations. I plan my future to be a successful person, not necessary to being rich man and have a big house, but how well I manage my problem situations. Believe me, as you want to find what you are really interesting, you will not find them. Catching your near good opportunity is better than next good opportunity will catch you. Financier is known it as “time value of money”.
September 20th, 2008 at 6:48 am
oh my gosh reading your prayer made me cry, as i am typing this tears are streaming down my face.
i know exactly how you feel, is as if the world is moving except me. I am stuck in a merry go round and i am getting pretty sick of it.
I hope God will answer both of our prayers because i can’t take it anymore.
October 7th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Bringing back what you used to be, the happier person.
Sometimes i wonder when was i really happy before, because happiness seems so transient, and sometimes unreal.
You may be feeling this way now, but few years down the road, will you reminisce, when you get your cert, and look at how much you’ve achieved?
Some people dont get to where you are now, just like i always complain about how boring school can get.
I skipped lessons, i feel happy, only for awhile, when i see how badly my results became, i felt terrible.
I dont know why, i feel that i’m letting myself down, letting my parents down, for they are working so hard for my school fee and i treat it like it’s childplay.
When you’re really bored out, take a short break, i hope it helps.
No matter what, just keep holding on, it’s just a lilttle bit more, tomorrow will be better :).
October 31st, 2008 at 6:08 am
I felt like that a few months ago, I’m in my second year of uni you see. It felt like I was stuck in a lackluster routine without any emotions except sadness, selfpity and loss of confidence. I decided to snap out of it, it wasn’t easy but I managed. What you gotta do is realise that you’ve grown, reassess your goal, priorities. Start dreaming again and do things spontaneously, I find that life is pretty interesting when you work hard towards making what you think is impossible possible. Think about it whats that one thing you think your won’t be able to do, then go for it and do it. Break the routine and kill the depression.
Cheers
November 7th, 2008 at 11:00 am
I am in totally the same place. I illuded college to be the place where i was going to thrive. I waited for so long to be here and now it is as if i am in anothers body. I dont even recognise my reflection - i am the most unlike my former self than anyone i have ever met. Where i couldnt stop talking in classes i am so shy that i think people dont even know if i have teeth! I feel as if i am failing every class even my beloved literature and now i think this loss of myself has jepordised my future.
Its extremelley difficult dealing with these new and not so wonderful perceptions but all we can do is have faith in God-find some time to listen to him. Be realistic look at your priorities, responsibilities and how you can wrap your passion around them. Good luck and i pray for all who have answered this in the same emotional ‘climate’ that we may put back together the fragmented parts of ourselves, and find happiness in our own complex ways. God bless
January 31st, 2009 at 7:54 am
It seems to me that it wasn’t God giving up on you, its yourself! FIND YOURSELF IN GOD and remember what got you into college and wanting to do other things
April 1st, 2009 at 1:38 am
Soldier On My Brother ! For everyday spent well (or bad) is another day closer to heaven.
College is just a process, you’ll get through just fine. Don’t quit, and maybe change the way you study and pray about your troubles.
Life may be difficult (i’m currently unemployed) but we keep moving. Look at Joseph in the old testament he spent of time in jail and working as a slave, at least you’ve got college and you live in USA! look at Asia and Africa observe how difficult it is in some other countries.
You can do it! I