Dear God,
I am only 14 but i have gone through what I can describe as hell.Growing up with my mother I was abused physically and mentally and I still have burn scars on my back from it. A year and a half ago my brother committed suicide and I was the one that found him. My father got married a year before exactly. My mother got married almost a year ago to a guy that she knew had mollested girls before, but she still made me live with her - until a little less than a month ago I had hid everything, I was being raped and mollested by my step-father. I turned him into the police and the case has already gone by, he was found not guilty, also 8 and a half months ago I had an abortion because I wasnt sure if it was my stepfathers or my boyfriends baby…yes I have had sex because I feel that it has ruined me and I am not worth anything. 2 weeks ago I ran away from home and was charged for that and i was high. My boyfriend is into drugs and a gang but that is what I have dropped down to. I wish that i could not be what I am today, I have lost my faith but I keep feeling that you are here and you are trying to show me a sign that I am ok and I will do great in life.
I just want to have a sign or maybe some closure in my life, is this truly what I was meant to be…o and I tried 2 commit suicide myself a week ago and I have began cutting myself. I am not sure what to do…can you help me??
Hannah - USA
February 12th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
What you are going through is the life of what every girl dreads . you are so young, im going to pray for you until god gives you a life that you truly deserve.
February 13th, 2009 at 9:03 am
Please tell your principal at school, a teacher that you think you might be able to trust, a friend’s parents, a guidence counsellor, a trustworthy adult family member, go to an agency that works with youth, a doctor…if the first person doesn’t liste, tell someone else, if they don’t help, tell another person, tell and tell again until someone helps you.
For now you are alive so, instead of waiting for more hell to be inflicted on you, tell on the horrible adults who have done this to you. Each day can be used seeking a sympathetic ear and an adult willing to take action. There are many people who don’t care but, many who do. You will find one if you keep at it.
Wishing you strength
February 14th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
don’t give up. i’m sorry to hear what has happened but the adults in your life are the ones that should feel worthless because of how they victimised you. God loves you and will make things improve for you.
February 16th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Through all your pain and suffering, I believe, as you must too, that your life is a gift from God. What you have been through can make you stronger for the future! YOUR Future! As was said by one of the replies above, there ARE people out here who care, who are aware of your pain and will pray you continue to find the strength that has got you this far! If you choose to allow yourself to be victimised by these cruel people, then they have destroyed you! Don’t give in to those feelings of hopelessness please? Seek out people who make you feel good about yourself, and mix with people you can depend on. People who like us who have replied to your”cry for help”….There are far more good people out there, than there are bad you know! Put your thoughts on the kinds of people you want to be around, positive people, and you will surely start to find a light in your life. Remember this as a thought that may be of use to you from now on….”You become like the company you keep!” I wish you only the best of everything from now on, as it would appear you have had your fair share of the worst of things! Be Happy in spite of those whohave hurt you in the past, and move on to the brighter place in this world where you too can shine. Your life is priceless. Enjoy each moment from now on. Choose only the best company and dont forget to give out goodness sothat you too can receive the same. God Blesses you always! (andy)
February 16th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Hannah,
I have experienced similar things growing up. I was molestered by 2 of my own brothers. It happened when I was 5yrs old and continued up to the age of 12yrs, because of my older brothers molestering me I then began to molest my 7yr old brother. What made it bad was that my own mother encouraged it. My mother and father both was physically and verbally abusive to me and other siblings. My dad called me an ugly mother,,,,,,,, and other things and I was only 7yrs old, When I turned 17 my mom died and my father wanted nothing to do with me and only some of the other siblings, My dad tried to punch me in the face with his FIST but I fell backwards on the bed so he didn’t make contact with my face. My mother died by the time I turned 17 and because of my childhood I didn’t even cry for her at the furneral but she still was my mother no matter how bad they treated me I still loved them. I
I just want you to know that God loves you so much and wants you to continue to pray and seek him. He can change your life for the good. God will also provide for you. I am speaking from experience. I got saved and he has provided for me every since my mom died. I don’t have a high school diploma but he gave me a good job, my own apart. a jeep grand cherokee laredo brand new. I want you to visit an Apostolic church or a pentecostal church or Church of God in Christ to be baptized in the name of the Father, The Son and the HolyGhost with the evidence of speaking with other tongues. They must believe in the Trinity. The Pastor from one of these denominations will guide you and explan things to you. I promise your life will change for the best. GAURANTEED!.
In the meantime stay in SCHOOL it’s very important . Hang out with positive people and lose the loser friends it may hurt to lose them. No pain No gain. You can do it I believe you. I am working on my GED. I don’t have time to tell you all the other stuff I been through it will proboably make you cry, plus I’d need more room.
Any way, may the Lord keep you safe, I will be praying for you
Love Willow
February 18th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Dear Hannah, look for help. Go to Church and speak to the priest. God wats to help you because he cares for you and he will give you his word, hands, heart through his people. Life is beautiful, we have just to discover it. And you will, when you move all these heavy curtains, you will discover it and you will live it. Look for help in the name of God.
All my love and hug
February 19th, 2009 at 12:17 am
hannah,
i cannot say that i know exactly what you’re going through because i don’t. but i have had a similar experience and it hurts to find out that people as young as you have gone through the same kind of pain and injustice. however, i am also happy because i see that glimmer of hope in you, no matter how faint it may seem. we both know that it’s not easy to CHOOSE to believe that there is goodness and beauty after all that’s happened to you. but i believe that you recognize in you that there is still HOPE. the fact that you wrote your letter to God proves that you believe in hope, you believe that you will see the light, that you will experience pure beauty and joy…even if it’s difficult to convince yourself of it. i hope that you HOLD ON to that hope. no matter what happens, do not let go of that hope. as long as you don’t let go of it, no one can take it away from you…and that is something that makes you a truly beautiful and strong person right now. God is listening, we (even if we’re just strangers) are listening…just keep talking and fighting and hoping…and with God’s grace, things will turn out for the better.
as for the practical side of things, i agree with your other friends here…do seek the help of someone you truly trust. i myself needed external help. i say this because there are things that are beyond us and we do need that extra hand to guide us along the way. talk to someone in school, an old friend you really trust, a former teacher…or find a group who can provide that extra support you need.
you can get through this, i believe you can. i admire your courage in fighting this..in believing, in hoping. hold on to that. believe in yourself too. and keep on praying. i will be praying for you.
your friend, g.
February 20th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Hannah,
I had a son who committed suicide. It has and does haunt me. You have obviously chosen to come here to help those who struggle with this issue. Please consider deeply how much of a difference you can make to them once you get past the pain of these experiences. You are a fighter and will succeed. Hang in there. You have a mission and have had to endure this pain to accomplish it. Don’t throw it away now that you have almost arrived.
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:37 am
Hannah,
My heart goes out to you. It is soo sad that you endured the terrible things that have happened to you. Notice I didn’t say I’m sorry you “had” to endure the terrible things. No one should have to be treated that way. But, Hannah , God DOES love you , and he cares very much about what happens to you. Whatever you do, please don’t blame God. I know you didn’t say that you blame GOd, but it’s very easy for people to point the finger of blame at GOD.
GOD has a plan for your life. There are many other children out there that also come from abusive backgrounds. God can use you to help them. If you give your life to God and let his Holy spirit guide you, perhaps you could take your experiences and minister to other children who have been abused. Your story of how GOD saved you , can be a blessing to other abused children and help bring them to come to know Christ as well. Suicide is NOT the answer. There is life in learning to love the Holy spirit through Jesus Christ. If you end your life, you will never experience the blessings that God has for you. Blessing that will enrich your life, and become a blessing for others. I will pray for you. God bless.
February 24th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
I care for you.
I wont pray, because:
1- I never do in the first place
2-I honestly don’t believe it does anything (pray for your dead father, nothing happens, you know it wont, but it’s still a little depressing)
Just know you don’t live in a world full of assholes, ’cause there’s people out here that will try there best to make you happy.
February 26th, 2009 at 5:13 am
dear, I read your prayer,u know everybody go thruogh bad phase but u alwaz need to keep this in mind that ” you will make everything fine and you have to make yourself better than all the people around you coz u can…believe in this…u will surely get wat u want..even I dont get it eaisly but i never give up..do d same.I ‘ill pray for you,u ‘ill get everything…sooner or later but u ‘ill get it..take care…
February 26th, 2009 at 9:08 am
I do believe that prayer changes things…so I will lift your name up before the Lord knowing that through your pain you will be blessed and I promise you that God does hear you when YOU pray too. God is a healer of all things. Keep your head up and make sure that you keep talking and telling those around you until someone makes the right choice. This world is not full of bad people, but unfortunately you have to seek out the good. Your teachers, counselors and local hospitals can help.You are way to precious to this world and to God to take your life. Give your life to HIm and He will give life back to you.
Stay encouraged little sister,
T
February 27th, 2009 at 4:14 am
Young lady, do not be discouraged. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A SIGN FROM GOD, LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!! Though you may not like what YOU see, GOD LOVES IT!! Realize that after all you have been through, YOU ARE A MIRACLE! There are plenty of people in your position that have died, had mental breakdowns, or just gave up. Because you still care and still seek answers, it is proof that you are STRONGER THAN YOU CAN EVER BELIEVE. God is not responsible for what you have done, however He can give you the strength to overcome and destroy the bondage in your life. Go to a YMCA or Church and seek help, Read James 1 for a different perspective on tribulations, and most importantly, begin to pray to God for direction and courage. Direction, so you find a place to get help and courage to take responsibility for the rest of your life and stop taking drugs and leave the gang life. This will not be easy but that’s why what you just described is called a testimony and not a sob story.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:39 am
I was only 14 once and just as sad and lonely as you are now. I am 53 I have a son and 2 wonderful grandsons. I tried to commit suicide too when I was 14. Look what all I would have missed. Move get away from the bad, there are good people out there that will help you. Write your feelings in a journal.. Please do not do drugs, they will not help you. I am so sorry these things have happened to you, and I will pray for you. God is great and if God brings you to it, he WILL bring you through it. You can make it. You already have when you posted this plea here.
February 28th, 2009 at 2:14 am
you know what Hannah, you going through a rough patch that no one can really understand except u! but in the midst of all that, God still loves you and you are worth all He has made you to be, start speaking his word into your life confess his word, his promises He himself said he is not a man that he he should lie and he doesn’t change like shifting shadows and that when you ask according to his will he will give you everything you ask for, so right now i would like to say to you trust God and trust Him completely He is a faithful God, trust him for a safe place to stay, a loving family-people who appreciate you and above all trust him for the prosperous hopeful future that he has promised us in Jeremiah! do not doubt his love and faithfulness for a second, if there is one person who loves you unconditionally, its Him only him, humans have flaws!
March 1st, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Don’t give up. please don’t give up. I can’t think of anything more important to tell you. God loves you, and my heart crys out for you. I know you have gone through alot, and its been a tough road, but believe it or not, God still has a plan for you.
This is wierd, but I feel the need to give you my email. Its your choice, but I want to be here for you past this post, if you need it. I just kinda fount this website today, so I really don’t know what I am doing, but my email is kholliba@comcast.net. If you need someone to talk to, I want you to know that I’m only a email away. I know you don’t know me, but I want to be there for you. Please, don’t hesitate. I’ll be praying for you!
March 5th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
hey, always remeber things in life are going to be hard i dont know but after i read that i cryed im so sorry i will pray for you. but go to someone u can tell and trust. an try and stop the cutting and focus on God an pray ask him what you need to do he will help you.
ur in my prayers.
March 7th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Trust in the Lord and He will care for you. He loves you. I’m sorry to hear about the abortion. Babies are a precious thing on this world, a blessing from God. I hope everything turns out all right for you, and may God bless you in the future. I’ll be praying for you.
March 11th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I hope everything starts to get better for you.
I am sorry that all of this has happened.
There are people in the world that care.
There is good in the world.
Try and find someone who can help.
Be careful.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Hannah,
My heart goes out to you my dear. I am the mother of five and grandmother, I never abused my children and I can’t understand how other people do it to their own children. You are a good girl and there is a reason why you are here, you yourself know there is something important waiting for you, and what you have showed me is that you have hope for a better life, stay with that thought because God has already seen to it that you receive his graces. Go with your gut instinct in what would be good in your life, you will receive signs when he needs something from you. Go to a Holy Spirit filled church, if you don’t feel the Holy Spirit go somewhere else until you do. God will never disappoint you only people do.
I always told my children to follow their heart because you really have two choices in life the good and the bad choices, where do you want to be 10, 5 years from now? you can be in a half way house recovering from drugs or teaching others to lead better productive lives. I can see you as a counselor or life coach, please stay on top of that. You sound like an awesome person with much potential, I also found this website tonight, I know God sent me here, here’s my email as well mariavint@hotmail.com you have a spiritual family here who loves you.
March 12th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Hannah - I too have not had to experience what you did. My girl, I cannot blame you for feeling like you do, or for any of the things you have done. God is a God of grace. He loves you as much as He loves Jesus, really. He knows what you’ve been through and how you feel. Try to find a good church where you will form a good bond with God - just give yourself a fair chance and get to know Him. In the silence of your times with Him He is willing and able to heal you, sweet pea. My life was not as horrific as yours has been - I just never lived with a dad in the home but my hurt over this was very real. God has helped through this and many other bad times in my life. My 14 year old daughter was also cutting herself because she was dumped by the guy she put all her trust in. God helped her through that. I could list all the things He has done, but I’d run out of space!! So girl, try, try, try and with the help of many of us praying for you there must be change in your life.
Wishing you everything that is good in your life - you deserve it! Alison
March 14th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
oh my gosh
i am only 14 too
but to go through what you have gone through.. i couldn’t
i know that i havent hurt as much as you have but whenever i am down or feel like everything in mylife is falling i write and it just clears up my head. i hope for you that in the future your life will be happier.
athina
March 20th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Hannah-My heart bleeds for you. Please Hannah understand that people that hurt you are people that are hurting themselves and you are the one they lash out on. It has nothing to do with you!!!! You were a trusting baby who was put into the hands of some sick people. I know everyone is telling you to find positive people to associate with but if you don’t know what “positive” people are, they are people who make you feel good about being who you are. Don’t let yourself be pulled toward people that hurt you because think that is what you deserve, you must Fight that feeling and break the cycle. FIND IT IN YOURSELF. The gangs, drugs, cutting is only hurting you more than you already are. YOU must stand strong and YOU must know you are worthy and ithat t is them who are not worthy of you. Find something about yourself that you are good at and focus on that, and if you feel at times there is nothing, close your eyes and wait, hang on and if it doesn’t come for a while, hang on some more.
Please get some help. You are young and and obviously a strong, survivor and that is the first thing you can find about yourself that is great. Talk to someone, please just to let some of that pain out. You have to reach outward and not inward. You will never forget what has happened to it, but my prayer for you is that you will later in life make peace with it and hopefully use it in a positive way. I pray you will be the one to stand up and stop the cycle of abuse be it physical, mental, or rape. Maybe you will take all your hurt, turn it around into passion for another child that is being hurt. You just might save that childs life, one day. But you can’t hurt yourself to be able to do that. You have to express your pain hopefully into creativity. Lose the boyfriend in the gang and on drugs, make a difference in your life. You know what is right or wrong for you, follow your soul, not everyone else. When you get pulled back, remember your a survivor. But be very careful not to be too strong, Hannah you need to cry and feel your pain inside and it willl hurt, but let it out anyway. Don’t you hurt “YOU” anymore, obviously enough people have already done that enough for you.
My prayer for you is that you will find someone you can trust, I know trusting is hard, someone who will hold you tight enough that you may feel safe and PROTECTED for once in your life. That you will find peace inside of yourself and don’t blame yourself for what others have done to you. It is them, NOT YOU.
Hannah, I hope you make a diffence in someone elses life, because you have already made a diffence in mine. Please God, put someone into her life that will show her real love, not pain.
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:35 am
Hannah
I`m soooo sorry, I wish I was there to hold you and protect you, your story touched me so deeply, no one should go through that, I have three children a 19yr. daughter a 15yr. son and a 9yr. daugher, I want to take your pain away, Hannah you are worth EVERYTHING. God doesn`t create crap he only creates only beauty, find a church, or a youth group, PRAY God will lead you the way, I was on this website because I`m feeling hurt and alone then I came acrossed you, and you helped me to realize that my life isn`t as bad as
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:41 am
I thought it was, I believe that it wasn`t an accident I came acrossed you. Please email me. NEWFOUNDLIFE@COMCAST.NET.
We both can help each other.
Believe and trust in God. Never lose FAITH NEVER Hannah. God is holding you all you have to do is believe.
Veronica
April 16th, 2009 at 6:52 am
I know you kind of problame is not something that can be worked up in the net,but ill tell you this anyway for what is worth.
you situation you are in is like a quick sand like every bad thing that strikes us.
everything we do just help the dipersion to go bigger,1st you brother commited sucide i bet you mom was runied thats why she married that bastered….who just help you and your mom to go deeper down,than you began have sex with this boyfriend of yours who just strikes you deeper into the mud with his sex and drugs and the depristion in cutting you self had you say you are vandlized you flash by that things.
what im trying to say is the socaity you in to the choices they leading you to is bad for you you need to hold into something that is not connected to the shit you in and pull yourself out of the mud to it,its not easy to find this thing,but its carved deep inside of you.
good luck
April 18th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Hannah,
I hope that you read all of these messages. People do care for you, all of us are strangers, but I know if you keep telling your story to adults, you’ll find more people that care for you and can help you. I agree with everyone on here, you’re a survivor, you are STRONG. You can get through this. Go to as many adults as it takes, keep pushing, keep telling your story until you are heard and you are helped! Call 1-800-448-3000, this is the number for the boys/girls town hotline. They can help, they have helped people just like you for many years. Good luck Hannah, God has a very special plan for you. You have touched all of us today, and I know you are going to come out of this even stronger. Believe.
April 18th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
i dont now what to do this is not even hafe of it my enles misery i am forsed to call my life is like a horer move so scary you have to look as u cry in tarer whell whith moves thare over in an hower but life is for ever and all my mom ses to me is sut up suckit up i dont care and ther is nower for me to go but dowen i need help and this time not chield ssoshel serifises i need more than a raser i need a chan sall to top it of i love my siters and my buothers to much to kill my self no mater how much i wud love to and i dont now war 2 of my bruters are ok they live whith my dad my bruthers dad is just as bad exsept i see him every week end and when i dontt i am whith my drunk/hi mom it souns like fun !
but my best adfis to u is to keep cuting no suisid go to brook lane out pashint senter so u go when u want to and if u dont say u r suisdal u want have to sta y i go it helps if u tell them wats realy going on if u need a cuter to talk to just email me i may be yung but i have tacken sicoligy whith me ant at her colig i can help plus i cut
April 20th, 2009 at 7:34 am
The feelings you are expressing are normal for the life you have lived, your questions are of worth and need answers, many of the pain and suffering that is endured by many at such an inocent time in there lives leaves a profound effect on them. Feelings of worthlessness, hurt anger, disblief are very raw emotions and can be overwhelming. I know those feeling because I have my own journey through childhood to draw on. But life need not be this, my life has changed I am no longer a victim and no longer are bound by my past, I am free, my life rebuilt, I’m whole complete and not “damaged”. Self abuse and the yoyo of ups and downs is a thing of the past never to return. Whats changed, well truthfully it was me, I was so desperate for help when I asked God he met me at the point of my need and over a period of time I began to realise that what I was searching for was what God give me and he freely wanted to be part of my respoation and do this for me.
I have spent the last 20 years helping girls who were like me, I am now a mother of 3 children all adults and doing well, I have been married for nearly 30 years and life is full of joy so far removed from my hell of abuse. I learnt God HAS a plan for each one of us and when we give him that chance we wont be disappointed. Life may still loob a curve ball but we have someone who will walk us through the difficuties
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:02 am
im so sorry i know what is like im 14 to and i have had all thoes things happen to me all. it hurts and im not going to say that you should belive all of the people on this website but i can tell you that god has a plan for you dont give up. and dump your boyfriend he dosent love you like god he is the one holding you back. please call a curch or somthing and tell them you dont need that.
April 26th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Dear Hannah- I wish that I could hold you and cry for you—That is the Father’s Heart–it is His heart that someone comes with His love and holds you–A real -true, Godly person. It is for people like you that I have been called into the ministry—,
Father, God Jehovah–you brought us here–I pray that you send healing to Hannah and others like her Father. I pray that You in Your mercy–wrap Your arms around her and let her feel Your embrace. Let her feel Your oil of mercy–The Holy Spirit which leads us and guides us. Father– I ask that You bring the right people into their lives and a wolf in sheeps clothing be not allowed. Send “Watch Dogs–true Shepherds” to them Lord–Help them–teach them–talk to them–make them strong–Father they are Yours–show Yourself strong to them–In Your Mighty Name Jesus I pray and thank You dear God–Hannah–Jaci and all the others that they represent–be there for them Father–be their strong tower–deliver them from evil–be their shepherd. I pray much blessings and love to you all-Amen.
May 24th, 2009 at 2:08 am
Dear Hannah
I don’t know what you are going through so i won’t say that i feel your pain. But I will tell you this, Find someone who can help there are a lot of bad people in this world but there are more good people. Look for any family members that you have, or go to your biological father turn to him for help. If he doesn’t want to then go to child services and look for help there make sure that that man is put to justice and you live a happy life from that day onwards.. tell your mother make her listen and if she doesn’t then you know what you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. You are a good person hannah and you will find happiness. just wait for it. This is not your destiny. If there is a god then he will do something to help you. He has to.
just take care of your self
Megha - age 15
June 4th, 2009 at 3:21 am
God loves you. No doubt there. Please tell someone at school that you have been getting hurt. Go to Children agency. Do whatever it takes. You are loved.
June 19th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Hannah,
I aqree with what Alex said a little while up.
But anyway, there are some stupid, sad, worthless people out there and YOU are NOT one of them. Speak to people. Re invent yourself.
Get a job somewhere, like a dairy or somethinq and save up for a cheap plane ticket out of town. Find a job there. Save up. You can live there and surround yourself with nice people. You HAVE to have confidence, althouqh it seems hard it IS possible. If all of this is too much, do somethinq simple. If your in school, make friends with nicer people. Think of happy thinqs and create a NEW life for yourself.
If you want someone to talk to you can talk to me berrytrifle_14@hotmail.com
Jessie - aqed 14
June 25th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Hannah,
You are so Strong and i know that God has a mighty and awesome plan for you. You see, most people would have given up, but you, you’re totally different. i am definitely looking up to you for how courageous you are. you have God right there with you through all of this, that’s why you’re still hopeful. You know that God is the only one that you need. There may be people whom you trust that have proven themselves not worthy of your love, but i know you still love them. and that’s admirable because we all need to forgive those who have hurt us just like Jesus did when he was being persecuted. At such a young age you have been exposed to the cruelty of the devil. keep strong, fight the evil of this world because you have what it takes! your bravery proves that you’re a warrior. please surround yourself with people who are kind, compassionate and close to God because they can help you so much. I pray that you never cease believing in the power of the Holy Spirit and wonders that can happen in your life. YOU ARE A BLESSING TO THIS WORLD. we love you!
July 1st, 2009 at 2:21 am
Do what you are prepared to do.
God is not an issue here, pray to him for help but expect nothing as the evil here is not of his making. Leave the drugs for a week, quit everything, your mind needs to be clear; there is no need to escape from the situation you are in. If you want to run away then there are many programs that you can be put on (search the web, there are a lot of charities ready to help). If you want to suffer it out then take up classes in some kind of martial art or yoga or any discipline that allows you to focus your mind and soul into another place.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splitting_(psychology) try this if everything else fails. It is a common phenomena that I am sure you are aware of. What you are going through is not unique. My wife was abused for 14 years by the same man systematically and now she has me (not really that much of a blessing lol) but we have a beautiful kid and a house and she has a wonderful job (didn’t need any qualifications for it); there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you have to focus on something to get through this (my missus had a Michael Schumacher obsession funnily enough). Remember you can move away at 18. Dont keep a diary as he will find it and dont document anything bad. Get off the drugs, they only exacerbate the situation, you need a clear mind and need to focus on survival.
This may sound really harsh and cold but practically speaking and if you want to put him down then wait until the next time he doesn’t use a condom; you had pregnancy fears so obviously he must not. Hold it in as much as you can and go to the police. If you notice he is not using one then fight, it will tear you and create damage, this combined with the DNA evidence will be enough to convict him. I dont want to be saying this and I shouldnt have to advise anyone to do this but it is an option that you should consider. I hate advising people to do this but has led to convictions in the past (in my professional experience). This will destroy your parents and you need to know that but if they are doing nothing but harming you then they do deserve it.
God will not do anything, this is your test, do not succumb.
August 20th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Dear Hannah,
My heart truly cries out for you, God is a Father of all nations and he will keep you in the palm of his hand no matter what.Keep on calling out to Him, the devil steals robs and destroys - dont let him. You keep close to the Father(God) and i can assure you, you will walk into greater things.
Go bless
August 26th, 2009 at 4:06 am
hannah,
I hope u still check this site I feel GOD telling me to leave this with you, I fell him so very Strong now he will deliver you soon he is ther in the mist of everything you must beleive that look up now you can feel him at this very moment lifet you head towrds the sky and cry out to him he will and has heard you.
psalm 46
1 GOD is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.2 therefore we will not fear,through the earth be moved, and through the mountains be carried into the mist of the sea;3 through the waters thereof roar and be troubled, through the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.selah 4 there is a river, the streams whereof shall make the city glad the city of GOD,the holy place of the tabernacles of the most high. 5 GOD is in the mist of her: she shall not be moved: GOD shall help her, and that right early. 6 the heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted. 7 the LORD of host is with us ; the GOD of jacob is our refuge. selah 8 come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth. 9 HE maketh wars to cease unto the ends of the earth; he braketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burnth the chariot in the fire. 10 be still and know that i am GOD: i will be exalted among the heathen, i will be exalted in the earth. 11 the LORD of host is with us; the GOD of jacob is our refuge. selah.
GOD has let know that he has GREAT AND MIGHTY WORKS FOR YOU TO DO, THROUGH YOU.YOU WILL CRUSH THE ENEMY UNDER YOUR FEET. he is with you and loves you and i luv u too. iwill be praying for you. my e-mail is reaofsun23232@yahoo.com
August 28th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I am truley sorry for what you are going through. I have a 13 year old that thinks her life is so hard. All i can tell you is that God is listening . Your prairs will be ansred when he has tought you everything HE wants you to learn. Tha power of prair is so big so dont give up . I will pray for you and i know God has big plans for you even bigger than you can imagen. Stay strong and safe God loves you and so do I.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
I understand, I have been in many of those same places in life as well. What you do have is CHOICE. You have POWER to make your life what you want it to be and what you can IMAGINE it to be. You can’t undo what has happened but don’t let it or anyone else DEFINE you. You have the POWER to define who you are and what your life will be… use it….