Dear God,
I can’t wait for her to fly to the UK. Everyday there is always something that she will complain about. She’s draining me with all her negativity. Nothing or no one is ever right in her eyes. I know it’s bad to say this but I wish for my other siblings to look after her instead. I can’t stand living with her and I think it will only hurt us both if we continue living under one roof. I really wish for once that she would just focus on the positive things and make both of our lives easier but sadly that’s not who she is. And that’s what I have to live with till the day she dies.
Row - KL, Malaysia Share:
June 29th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Why don’t you just tell her
June 30th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
hey, i think im in a really similar situation? father dead? does your mother pushes everyone away including your siblings, but is dependent on you for company? yet still, she treats you like shit. she never has anything nice/good to say about anything or anyone. she’s never asked anyone how they are doing and her only concern is herself. she’s the most irrational person you have ever encountered or heard of, so much to the point she blames all her life’s problems on others, but passively relies on others to fix them. she also lives in denial that she’s ever done anything wrong in her life…except, not having an abortion. your relationship with her is not really based on love anymore, but obligation and pity.
from what i read, we have have similar situations. i hope you find a way out.
July 2nd, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Hey Row,
Try negativity on her.
Start complaining about everything and how miserable your life is.
Tell her how guilty you feel every second for not giving her a life that befits her stature.
Tell her that one of these you are going to jump off the moving train, because your life is not worth a dime to anyone, not even to her!!
Test her with her own medicines. Trust me, she’ll come around.
Have a safe flight to UK
(p.s. you’ll miss her when you are out there )
July 12th, 2008 at 2:48 am
row..
u are making me feel sooo guilty..
everytime i went back to my home for vacation, i felt the same way as u do…
welll.. she’s my mum, i think i’ll just have to get use to it.
August 15th, 2008 at 3:51 am
If it’s any consolation Row….when she gets to the UK, she’ll have loads to complain about….and she’ll fit right in. Low grade mumbling, “tutt”ing, and bitching is what we do in London. Space apart will surely make you each appreciate the other more. Hang in there.
Alex x
October 29th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Hey Row,
I had to “boycott” my Mother more than once in my life. I have tried agreeing with her, not agreeing with her, mirroring her negativity so she could see what she’s doing, I’ve tried humour. No matter what I am wrong and she is the almighty Queen of being RIGHT! I asked her once if she’d rather be right or be happy? BIG MISTAKE…heaven forbin we should have a conversation…no, she went into a raging rant and finally slammed the phone down. I am to blame for HER two husbands (my fathers)…men SHE chose….but I am some how to blame and she believes because she divorced them both that her children should have no contact with their Dads! How’s that for crazy. Every time I choose to let her back in my life NO good comes of it. I pray for her happiness because she is clearly a bitter and angry woman. And, for myself, I pray that I continue to forgive her and accept that she is who she is. However, this does not mean I need to let her back into my life to terrorize and abuse me with her words, lies and anger. I’ve decided that I will surround myself with people who make me laugh and accept me just the way I am. I no longer require her approval - the day you have that same revelation is the day you will be set free!!!- as I was! I pray only for the best of everything for her and I keep my distance from her to save my sanity. Giving birth does not necessarily make a person a true Mother! I’m not her and she’s not me and I suggested to her that we “agree to disagree”….to which she replied “I DON’T AGREE WITH THAT!!!” ……… HA HA HA! I am LOL as I write this to you! .
We can cry or we can laugh. Choose to laugh my friend and pray that your mother will replace her sorrow and negativity with laughter and joy on her safe flight back to the UK where she can re-direct her negativity to the next sibling who is willing to allow her too! Hang in there until that plane takes off! Light and Love, from somebody who understands in Canada.