Dear God,
I hate my big sister. I really do. I know that it’s meant to be impossible to hate a family member but I know with all certainty that I never want to see her or hear from her again. Every time she is around me, I get filled with such rage. She doesn’t leave me alone, she just sits down and smirks her fat face off at me. I can’t stand it! She calls me all sorts of names, steals from me, swears at me and physically hurts me. She is so fat that she could crush me. I honestly hate her, and sometimes I feel like a bad person because of how I feel about her, but she has driven me to this realization! I can’t escape her. She’s been out of school for 2 years and stills lives off my mum and dad, all she does is sit around the house and wait for me to get home so she can attack me. She has the maturity of an eleven year old… I Hate Her!! Please, please, please God make her go away! Do anything to her, I don’t care as long as I never have to see her again. I honestly hate her!
S.K - Melbourne/Australia
December 14th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
wow that’s mean
December 15th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
We don’t have to like someone just because they are family. But….I believe people are put into our lives to teach us something. Good luck..and don’t let her push you around too much.
December 16th, 2008 at 1:19 am
Keep control of your thoughts
Don’t let them stray too far from reality.
December 16th, 2008 at 6:02 am
Hmmm… I would say it’s not abnormal to have feelings like you’re having - I don”t have a sibling - but many of my friends do - and there is often a period where they hated theirs for some reason or another.
It is NO-ONES place to judge you - but perhaps you are not asking God for the right things..
However difficult it is - pray that God works inside your sister - that He change her ways, that He protects you from he (this will probably sound silly - but just imagine yourself surrounded by white light so bright that it makes you invisible to your sister… just pray for the light of Jesus to shine through you.
Also ask God to grant you patience and understanding. She probably does and says all these ugly things because she is jealous of you!
Just trust that this situation WILL change - either one day physically when you can move out of home (or she does!) - but in the meantime - just envelope yourself in prayer and try to focus on the good things in your life
Keep your thoughts on the positive part of the ‘bad’ - pray for the good things, don’t let yourself be trapped and become unhappy. NO-ONE has the right to steal your joy - so don’t let them!
Try to keep smiling anyway.
Strongs sweetie - and don’t listen to any negative comments.
December 16th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
I have gone through a similar problem. I too have an older sister who has bullied me, crushed me with hurtful names all my life and physically hurt me because she is older, because she can. However, the difference here is that my sister is beautiful, on the outside she is stunning - many a times she has been asked to join agencies but she had never wanted to commit. This is a big part in why she finds it okay to bully me, because she has never been told ‘no’ in her life, she has gotten away with things that average people cannot because she is stunning and academically very bright. When on the odd occasion i have asked her why she has taunted me so, she answered - i just want to make you stronger. i want you to do something about youself, i hear stories that when you push someone in a certain way they change.
She has gotten that right, i have an innate strength within myself, but on the outside i still act vulnerably with my friends as i know if they hurt me i can withstand it. This is to comfort you. To know that you are Better than this awful sister. She has been placed in your life as a force that will ultimately help you prevail. Remember that.
Since I personally realised what happened to me, i have never lost an argument yet. I could be a serious lawyer if i wanted to, even better i have been crushed and built myself up, i can be a psychiatrist and help others. I can be whatever i want. I hope you know that this is about you too.
December 18th, 2008 at 4:16 am
Dear S.K.
I agree with Donna from Dec. 16th. I will add though, have you spoken to your parents about your sister.
If so, and have had no real support or relief, then please know that there is always help in everyone’s community. I don’t know how old you are, but if you are in school, ask the school counselor for advice. If that isn’t available then look to other sources in the community or your family. You should never have to feel such abuse, and you are not ever alone in anything.
Ask God to give you the resources to help this situation improve, and please ask that all that anger is removed from you. It is toxic for you and can only lead to bad in your life.
I am the youngest of five children and I have four children of my own, so I am very well versed in sibling rivalry. In fact my oldest daughter was quite mean to her brother for all their growing up years. I took my two oldest children to a psychiatrist when they were teen ages and I worked with my oldest daughter for years to help her understand she was abusive to her brother, she finally admitted she was jealous of him.
They are grown adults now, and they tell each other they love each other and do things together and can count on each other for things. So you can see that God works with people.
You don’t have to like your sister but please for your sake ask for help from God as well as any one that will listen. I am concerned for you and if I could get my hands on your sister she would be crying like a baby in the corner.
God does not want to see you suffer, so ask for the answers that will help change your situation and take pitty on your sister, she sounds like she is suffering too.
God will bless you, just ask.
I am praying for you.
December 18th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Wow. I want to start off by saying how completely sorry I am you feel this way. I know, 1st hand, how aweful it is to feel unappreciated by and hatred towards members of your family.
I’m an older sister to a younger brother. For YEARS we hated each other, kicking, screaming, punching, cursing, biting, pranking, name-calling, bleeding, crying death wishes hated each other. This went on from when we were about 6 and 4 (he is two years younger than me) till I moved out when I turned 18.
After I left, I realized how much he meant to me. How much I worried about if he was doing well in school, if he was hanging out with the right people, if he was becoming better at guitar than me… I realized how much I loved him and how sorry I was for doing all those hurtful things to him growing up.
3 years later, our relationship couldn’t be better… we still bicker all the time [but what siblings don’t] but I think we found a new respect for each other.
I’m positive as time goes by, you two will settle your differences and begin to love each other the way God created families to be.
Just stay strong. And stay strong in God. He will never leave you or forsake you.
In my prayers… Savannah
December 18th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
aww.. sweetie, i totally understand how it feels, but you know what,
really, step it up to her and let her know that you don’t want to take this anymore.
next time when she does something to you again, don’t be too nice
just stand up for yourself. she may try to hurt you when you stand up to her,
but still in silence will hurt you more.
you don’t deserve this kind of abuse, be strong, and be brave,
really, rebel against cruelty and i believe god is with those who are hurt and oppressed.
- faith
December 20th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Well you can certainly relate to Gods Son, Jesus,He too was hated and abused! You know how He was treated I dont even have to there with you,i can feel you are a child of His,No matter how ugly your sister continues to act towards you.honey just show love towards her,God promises us If we love our enimies and pray for thoes that hurt us,in time he will turn our enimies into our friends.you just trust Him on this,do not sink to her level,in all things show love,you will be so blessed by your Heavenly Father!!!! Also avoid her at all cost,donot allow satan to set you up, stay gaurded,in prayer an claim His Holy word,when she comes around just wispear over an over in your mind the precious name of Jesus,Jesus,Jesus,then satan will have to flee!!!!
December 24th, 2008 at 3:27 am
Don´t worry, just don´t be around her… or just work hard and go away…. people have to be happy! good luck… and see other things around you! world is beautiful!!
December 30th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Wow, doesn’t the holidays bring out the best in all of us!
I too have declared on Christmas Day 2008 that my sister and her family are now dead to me.
P.S. I am the older sister in this instance, however, my sister and her husband are the controlling ones in our family.
On Christmas Day, 1 hour before meeting at my sister’s house for dinner, my brother-in-law phoned me to tell me that my son was not invited and that he was not to come to dinner with us. No explanation was given as to why not. I of course, was very hurt and advised him that I wasn’t coming to dinner either. My son is not a guest, he is family.
In the end, my dad, brother, boyfriend and son went out to dinner together. My sister and brother-in-law decided to visit my dad the following day without their daughters. No words were exchanged nor an explanation made as to the Christmas event.
I am so hurt and will not be able to forgive this action against me and my son.
December 30th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Dear SK
First of all, I’m sorry you feel so strongly about your sister, and I’m sorry that she torments you so. I have been in a situation where I was being tormented in a different way, and I, too, hated. I prayed that God take this person from my life, do whatever was necessary, just give me some peace NOW!! My trouble was with an in-law, and it threatened to destroy my marriage. In desperation, I purchased the book “A Return to Love,” by Marianne Williamson. It taught me a few things, most importantly, it taught me to find the path to peace, even if the situation didn’t change.
To every action there is a reaction. The experience may be the same, what needs to change is how you experience the experience. If you ask God and the Holy Spirit to change the way you perceive her anger and hatred towards you, to change or shift your reaction to her outbursts, you will be very surprised, as will she. Your sister lashes out against you because she feels inferior, and the only way she feels good is to make others around her feel poorly. She is in deep inward pain. There is something very important missing in her life, which is probably why she is large and always angry, scheming, etc.. She is searching and grabbing for materials things, not knowing that it will not fulfill her any further than she is now.
Pray for her, and for you. Ask God to bring peace to her life, and in doing so, it will bring peace to yours. I had to realize that my in-law is so very unhappy, and that no matter how much I knew that they weren’t doing what was right, it didn’t matter. I had to ask myself whether I wanted to be right, or be happy. It took me some time to realize that if I was happy, being right didn’t matter. As for my in-law, this person has not changed, but my perception of this person and our relationship has. I continually pray that this person will find a peace only obtainable through God and find what I have found. Should this person do this, they will have no more desire to do the things they do and hurt the people they are hurting, because they will have only loving thoughts that lead them to loving actions.
I’ll pray for peace for your entire family. Get the book. You’ll see….
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:57 am
Me too. I understand. I’ve come to the conclusion that my older sister is jealous (not realizing it). She feels the same about me and I’m not sure how to interact with her to change things except maybe time will take care of it. Counseling could help but I would think both need to “want” to go. Try to make peace with it the best you can and live your life. I’ve been struggling with it for over 50 years. Don’t let her get the better of you, rise above the situation and LIVE YOUR LIFE!
January 6th, 2009 at 3:29 am
She needs your help and understanding. Family is the most important thing.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:49 am
i hate my sister too!!!! she is such a bitch!!! i think the only goal in her life is to try to make me feel bad about myself. you see, SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING! i wish she would just leave me alone!!! everytime i think she is done, she writes me more hate mail or some crap like that! i dont want her hurt or anything like that, i just want her to leave me the @#$% alone!!! i dont know what else to do. i have told her so many times!!!
January 12th, 2009 at 2:24 am
wow, your sister sounds like a complete tosser. extremely insecure. she must be really hurting inside, and her weight definately factors into this one way or another. have you tried sitting the whole family down (including your parents) and laying everything out on the table? say how you feel, and your sister could say how she feels and try to explain herself. after that i’d look at seeing a therapist, but be very careful about how you go about it. talk to your parents about it, i’d say, and let them talk to her about seeing one.
January 12th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Be assertive and stand up for yourself. Don’t wait for the moment because it may never come. Tell an adult what’s been going on. You are beautiful and strong. You don’t need to stand for this.
January 18th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
I know how you feel, i have an older sister who i don’t care one bit for. Their are a lot of times when i do hate her but as long as i don’t see her i just don’t care about her. I wouldn’t mind never seeing her again. She is the most shallow, selfish b****. She doesn’t care about no one but herself and only does what’s convienant for her and doesn’t care what happens to anybody else. We hated each other for the longest time, and still do. I never did love her, and I really would not care to ever see her again.
January 21st, 2009 at 9:37 am
i ate my big sister… shez such a bitchass i wish i could kill her… shez very ugly n callz me ugly… i just wish to god that no one liked her…
big sisterz are bitches n hoes
February 28th, 2009 at 8:40 am
thats how i feel too tell her
lifes too short to be a bitch!
and then leave
or if she starts ranting about you and goes on and on yawn and say:
im sorry,what were you bitching about?
thats wat i do!
but i love my sis its just when shes on her period
March 4th, 2009 at 4:04 am
I am a big sister.. I am guilty of those things myself (bullying, bossing, nagging)..
My sister and I are drifting farther and farther from eachother… 3 years ago she was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder… She hates me, and I hate her back. Sometimes I think that satan is playing us, using me to trigger her and vice versa.
I don’t know how to take care of her and she doesn’t help make it tolerable to be there for her. They say I’m the only one who can help her but how so when all we do is gag on eachother’s throat?
She’s a major pain in the ass but she’s still my sister.
March 20th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
hallo
i experience in life that jelasity begen when someone feel something lose
so i beleve your sister can not share love from your parents to you because seems not to be enough
so the problems is the parents ,how can they give love ,plenty enough for both two
or at all..or half and emptyhalf
george
March 25th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I can totally relate with you. It seems as if you might be depressed, but YOU HAVE TO FIGHT IT!!!!!!! Pray to God, but don’t leave it all to Him. Ask for His help and DO EVERYTHING THAT YOU, YOURSELF, CAN DO. Don’t let her ruin your life. One day you will get back at her in some way. My sister’s been mean to me for years. She’s the reason I’ve lost LITERALLY YEARS of sleep. She’s the reason why I had to talk to this counselor all the time. So I think I can relate with you. I’ve had those years where everyday was hell with her and I wanted to kill her, when I was 12. But I kno you can pull through. Believe in yourself. Stay strong, whatever she does. Tell yourself that she’s stupid and pointless and she doesn’t deserve the attention you give her. She’s a piece of trash that needs to be burned.
March 27th, 2009 at 10:15 am
tell her how you feel, when she realises the pain she has caused to you the bullying will eventually stop. Its not you with the problem its your sister, show her how much you love her - i know you do.
April 5th, 2009 at 7:26 am
All I can say is this, Fight back. I know that its not the most holy thing in the world to do, but this way in the end she might respect you and you two may even become friends. sometimes for whatever reason only the Almighty knows, people feel the need to exercise dominance over others. It is not until that dominance is challenged sometimes that the person begins to respect you. Believe me. My older brother used to do the same thing to me. There was even a time when I came home from school and he handcuffed me to the bed and shot me with a bb gun over 30 times. Finally he got bored and left me alone. that was about 6 years ago. and about 2 years ago I fought back. It started out a simple argument, but then it turned into a real mess. It ended with a broken arm for me, and only a few mere cuts and bruses for him. in addition i also had to pay for the stool i broke over his back. After this bloody mess however I noticed that he began to treat me like an equal. And now, he is one of my closest friends. I think in the end, even though fighting is frowned upon by the Almighty, this would be the better thing to do because eventually you may love her. I hope this helped…
April 15th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
its tough love, she loves you and doesn’t know how else to express herself.
i kinda have the same deal, but i love my sister and nothing is going to change that because i know she has love for me.
i love all my family, my emotions are just all messed up do to mind altering drugs, i wanna be normal again. i wanna be happy
May 17th, 2009 at 8:52 am
wow i realy feel sorry for you girl and will hope that you don’t wish that why don’t u just talk to your parents about that it will possibly help and if they don’t listen then go to the school counciler tell someone because it’s not naturll for someone to think this way ?ur sis
May 17th, 2009 at 9:54 am
hi.
can i just say i completly know how you feel. my older sister is so controlling, such a bully and schizophrenic. she constantly verbally abuses me. over the years, she has humiliated me and invaded my privacy. i do not speak to her unless she speaks to me first, just to be civil.
on top of that, i get along really well with my family; but when it comes to my sister and how she treats me, they turn a blind eye to it. they just ignore it and leave her to it. to see her treat them like shit - for them not to say anything to her; makes me so so angry but then i’m in the wrong if i say anything back to her, ofcourse.
she has been unemployed basically since leaving school 5 years ago, the dead-end jobs she has had- she’s been sacked from or left on bad terms. she is a drug addict and mum basically funds that for her without question.
she is going no-where with her life, treats everyone like shit and is the most selfish person i have ever met.
the biggest thing is that you can’t even reason with her. she spouts so much shit but you cannot make her see anyone else’s point of view.
the only way i am going to get away from her is to move out, away and live my life without her bringing me down anymore.
May 18th, 2009 at 6:36 am
I `m so sorry for all this! I write from Germany- hope you understand my “great english”.
YOU have the choice! Do this, what “Stel”say- (pray for her, and you…) OR do what the other people say: HATE , FiGHT……..
Jesus brings healing and real blessing.HE IS the WAY, THE TRUE and THE LIFE!! The Satan/Devil brings destruction, hate, death….
Sure sweetheart, the first looks/IS difficulder then “just giving up and hate”——but , think…Gods son, Jesus, died /suffer hard for YOUR sin! And YOU sin,too.But HE do this, cause HE loves you so mutch. HE know , you was lost for his love, when he´s not died for you.
Only god can forgive our sins.In god´s eye-you (!) have to hang on these cross-to die for YOUR sins. But Jesus carry your sins and died for you. HE rise from death. Dear S. come to JESUS open your heart, give HIM your life. Let HIM be your lord, your saivor.
I pomise, he take away all sins and hate and he give you a new life and his holy spirit. Please, today- when you are alone- kneel down and talk to him and invite him in your heart-give him your destoyed life.
When I was 21, I do the same. God chance all. Now I´m 35 -have a great man, 2 boys (I looove them!) and a wonderful life . God is soooo lovely. What HE promise - he do! When He see ME-(and lived in drugs, chaos, hate and alkohol, and try to make suicide)
and HE can chance ALL- why he can not do the same for you???!!!Are you MORE bad than me????Dont belive that! Smily.
I pray for you. Youre welcome- write me. Familie.Kegelmann@web.de
Bye and God bless you
May 23rd, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Well your big sister is a bitch, and my lil brother is a bitch! i hate him. he gets everything he wants, anh physically bruises hurts me not to mention emotionally. but if i do anythig to him i get in trouble. even if i dont do anything to him i still get in trouble cos he makes up shit. he ia a pain in the arse! I hope that ur sister is removed from your life somehow because then i have some hope in my brother gettin taken from me.
xx lilly
June 26th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
METOO. My older sister is the most VILE, DISGUSTING ROACH on the face of the Earth! I feel almost guilty of how I feel around her! My dreams of her getting squashed by a taxi cab are horrible! I just HATE HER. She is stupid and fake! The only time she acts like herself is around ME and the rest of the ime I’M THE BAD GUY! To her billions of “best friends” who call her every night and ask her to be his girlfriend she’s perfect! To me, she’s CRUEL and EVIL. I know she can’t be truly evil but she physically hurts me, curses at me, makes fun of me, STEALS my money behind my back then tries to get some nasty way of ME feeling guilty of not lending it to her in the first place! I just.. I HATE HER. I am two years younger than her and she CONTROLS MY LIFE! I don’t care if I live with my dad and she’s the closest to a mom I get! She’s NOT IN CHARGE OF ME, and she CAN’T CONTROL MY LIFE. She thinks she’s the best at everything and she thinks I think I AM! And get this: I’m ten times smarter than she is. She apparently feel bad about this and is jealous of me? I wouldn’t like to admit this. I am timid most often. I am humble! But she makes it so difficult to be! My stepdad always likes to get on my nerves and she always finds a way to get ten times worse than him.
I NEVER WANT TO SEE HER EVER AGAIN! I. HATE. HER!
August 8th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
i hate my big sister because she recked my birthday
August 12th, 2009 at 4:39 am
my big sister is a bitch 2 nd i h8 er so much
she makes me feel lonely nd like i dnt exsist nd wen i
try too stick up for ma self i get in trouble
ma wish is for er 2 be in a car crash but nt die den get a telly throw it on er ed
den get LOADS of knives nd throw dem at er and then she can die nd ill dump er somewer smone
will never find er
somtimes i even feel that i wnt too kill ma self instead of er
bt i wnt cos i have ma hole life ahead of me bt she dsnt
MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 25th, 2009 at 9:45 am
i have the same thing but she not fAT BUT SHE STRONG but the worst thing i think is that i have to ever day knowing there is not one thing i can do i have tried god some help me
September 13th, 2009 at 12:30 am
i love god cause he is a good father 4 me end my family .
September 14th, 2009 at 4:06 am
Dear God,
I don’t like my sister! She is a horrible person! All my life she has done the most hurtful things to me….slept with EVERY guy I’ve ever like including my ex boyfriend THE DAY WE BROKE UP, stolen from me (she use to do drugs) called me names talked shit about me..u name it! She is a pathological liar…she treats my mom like shit when she does EVERYTHING for her! She’s a recovering drug addict with no licence or education who has been in trouble with the law SEVERAL times but my family keeps bailing her out. My parents marriage is suffering bc of her! She treats my mom like a dog! Im so tired of my mom telling me to be nice I DONT LIKE HER!!! And I’m a very forgiving person but I Will never forgive her for what she has done to me!
November 10th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
my sister is the same way without the fat part all she used to do is beat on me and the thing I did was I invested in an airsoft gun so if whe would come into my room trying to kick my ass i would just point it at her and when she would just jump me I would fight back I know it sounds bad to hit your sister but shes hitting you.
November 16th, 2009 at 1:42 am
i have a big sister she’s 6 years older than me sometimes i feel the same way as you do but deep down i know i love her because she is a big part of my family and that’s just plain mean why don’t you sit down speak to her and tell her how you really feel then she might understand i really wouldn’t say something like that about my sister even though i hate her sometimes for annoying me and things like that but i still love her very much even though she can be annoying sometimes i mean come on you must love her because she’s a big part of your family i mean if i didn’t have my big sister i wouldn’t know what to do
November 24th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Hi, im sorry i cant leave my name because i really dont like my name published, but i can relate my sisters birthday was a few days ago and she got a brang new Ipod and it was really cool the new one, but she doesnt let me touch anything thats hers, shes 18 and im 13 by the way. anyways her friends came over for her birthday and wanted to play in our room because we share and i was like ok sure its her birthday ill leave so i went down stairs and i saw her Ipod and i just wanted to check it out so i just picked it up and turned it on which i didnt think was such a big deal i mean its just an Ipod but later she came up to the room and she just flipped out and now she wont even speak too me its like i dont exsist in her mind she just ignores me completly and i have no idea what too do and i dont even think she knows what shes doing to me and my mom doesnt care because she only likes my sister and its not like this is the first time when ever i do something wrong she makes me feel like a total and complete screw up. she has never once said to me good job or congradulations i wish she would just you, acknowlage me or say something positive, she looks at me like im crap
someone, anyone please help!
because i have no idea what to do
November 29th, 2009 at 7:04 am
I hate my sister too. The only difference is she is younger than me. She pinches me (She pinched me two weeks ago and the marks are still there), punches me, calls me horrid names, loses all of posessions and steals my dinner. I would like it if she changed her ways.