Dear God,
I am in a relationship that balances itself out - sure she’s with me, and yes we’ve had several years together, and yes we have a 3-year-old son. Yet, I cannot help but think that she does not truly want me in her life, or is at least hesitant to commit, regardless of what she says.For one, she cheated on me early on with her ex-boyfriend. For a second reason, she refused to marry me after I proposed to her. And thirdly, I have not been comfortable inviting my parents - my only true “blood” family - to visit. It’s painful to think that I am just a convenience for her life. I often fall into thoughts of leaving, or at least being with my “second choice/last crush.” But those are quickly dashed because, as it often becomes the reality - life is more of a blessing than a curse. My relationship may be tainted, but it is not lost.
I find myself being more grateful, yet still need that connection with my parents that she so often gets with them living with us (and now, next to us). I just want a strong, united family for my son and me, and without her support and ability to overcome her obvious low self esteem, I cannot do anything and await your miracle to save this family. Thank you for listening.
Chris, CA/USA
November 16th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
You are a strong person. Keep it up.
November 17th, 2008 at 3:54 am
Hi Chris,
It sounds like you’re really hurting. I’m very sorry. But as hard as it is to do, look at how you’re violating God’s plan for His people. You’re in a sexual relationship outside of marriage, which is violently against His will. It always leads to heartache. We cannot say we believe in God and live so blatantly against the lifestyle He tells us is right. I’m not sure exactly what will make this right (and that’s not my place to say), but at least part of it includes repenting from sin and starting over with God.
I don’t say this with a finger pointing at you. I have my own sins that condemn me. I say this because I hear the hurt in your tone, and until you get right with God, the hurt will only continue and get worse. God’s truth and rules for living may feel harsh, but they are designed for our well-being. Living outside them only confuses and destroys us.
I’ll pray for you!
Mary
November 18th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
HER low self esteem? I”m confused. How is YOUR self-worth these days.
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:21 am
Dear Chris
Wow thats a hard one. Through my own experience, I think that sometimes we try and see the positivity too much in our relationship, and don’t see how actually it might be damaging us.
It is obviously good to be positive and grateful, but don’t neglect how you are actually feeling. Sometimes we can even stay in a very abusive relationship and try and see the good in it. I know a friend in this situation.
I suggest, trust in how you are feeling.
Why not her ask her if she wants you? If not maybe you have to move on?
March 7th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
All that I can tell you is trust in the Lord. He will guide you if you ask him.