Dear God,
I am not sure how to start this but I just need to know why. Why would you take my wife away from me? Why let her die of cancer at such an early age? Why take her away from her children who need her so. I do not understand how you could take her instead of me. Our children would have been so much better off had you left her here. I don’t have the answers! I don’t know what to do! Now I ask why are you letting Jacob get sick? Wasn’t my wife enough, do you really need my son as well??? Why God?? What did I do to deserve this???? I love you and I will never turn from you but why??? I write you this with tears in my eyes stinging my cheeks. My heart is broken. I honestly will not be able to handle life if you take Jacob too. Please lay your healing hands upon him and give us a miracle this Christmas. No more hospitals! No more sadness for awhile, please I beg you! I plead. Please God hear my prayer and give me some peace. I need some peace of mind and soul, of body and heart. I need to feel happy again and know that there is hope.
Please dear God hear my prayer. Amen
Mike Thomson - New Mexico
December 18th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
God takes, and then he blesses.
For what you’ve suffered, you’ll be blessed a hundred time more.
I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Stay strong, and ignore discouragement.
December 18th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
I have no answers for you. But you have my sympathy. I hope your son will recover soon. And I hope you’ll talk to people close to you. Take care not to isolate yourself. Don’t hide from those who may be able to help you in some small way. To do some of God’s work, you might say. I wish you well.
December 19th, 2008 at 2:19 am
I wish there was something I could do to take a bit of the pain away and make you feel better. I hope your son will be better soon. Please stay strong for him and all around you. I know it’s easier said than done, as I have never been in your shoes, but that little guy needs you. Be well.
December 19th, 2008 at 3:09 am
Read St John 10:10 - 11 It will help you understand who is doing what. God does not take people away when he is the one who said ” Thou shalt not kill “. In the original He brew writing it reads ” Thou shalt not murder.” That is a double standard and causes confusion about the mind of God towards us. Doctors are on the same side as God .” God is trying to get us healed, however we sometimes miss what God is saying and we bring things on ourselves. God created her ,just so he could bring misery on you at this piont in your life? Not so, he is a father who is trying to get help to us! Satan is doing the stealing ,killing and destroying. Focus your hatred towards Satan , He hates everyone and if it wasn’t for God, all of us would be gone.
Kind of like a lending institution. They lend money to those who act resposible and pay back what is borrowed, but if one abuses the priviledge, the institution will not keep lending to support wrong doing. But if we act responsible , we can conyinue to use the institution. This is not to say your wife was a bad personby no means at all. We are human and even the most seasoned men and women of God will miss his promptings. Like , “take a different route home today” or “drive to work early this morning”
I can remember one morning, while fixing a bowl of soup , it was as if a voice from within ,told me not to eat that soup. The voice of reason said ” it will be Okay, you are cooking it, that will destroy any harmful bacteria ” I ate the soup and became sick , I mean “sick ” as I have never been in my life. It didn’t take long for me to realize that had I listened to that inward voice that I could have avoided all that suffering.
Jeremiah 29:11 tells us what God’s thought’s are towards us, “Thought’s of peace and to give you a hope and a future ” God does not say one thing and then turn on his own word and do the opposite. So many times he has tried to warn people of danger and yet din’t heed those warnings and the end result was tragedy.
I pray that you now clearly understand that God did not kill your wife. However, if the question was put to her” Do you want to go back to earth? Her response to you would be No ! Why leave a place where there is no longer any sickness, death, pain, war, or misery, I’ll wait for him to come to me.
Father, I ask that you comfort Mike in his time of seperation from his wife. Establish peace in his inner man and bring healing love to fill that empty feeling of loss that losing a loved one brings. That he can take comfort knowing that he will in the future see her again. That she is in a place, where Satan can never again torment her mind, body or soul,” in your care” Amen ( so be it )
Mike , should you have anymore questions, don’t hesitate to type them in.
December 19th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
i am praying for you, mike.
December 19th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Mike, we are insignificant things that feel we are the world. I personally know nothing of God…never met him….to me he represent X in an equation I cannot solve. I find it hard to believe that when I pray to him, that somehow I am someone that is more deserving of help than the millions of others in peril.
I watched my mother die of lung cancer just four years ago and I myself was diagnosed with lymphoma just last year. I did my chemo and sent it into remission.At times of fear and helplessness, I turned to the unknown, as it seems that God represents hope when there is none. I spend a great portion of my days thinking that it may come back, and always fear for my life…I am 25 but have lost all my dreams of marriage and a normal life as I do not want to burdon anyone with my pain or leave my children one day.
BUT, find comfort in thinking that everyone is insignificant; that this is the natural way of things. We kill animals everyday just to eat and think little of it; and so why must we hold ourselves to be incomparable? Your wife lives on in your child and had a positive effect on the world; that is a beautiful thing; and your thoughts of love and hurt are equally beautiful. I know that If I were to leave this world; I would feel much better knowing that I would have had some effect on it. There is only one thing you can do, and that is to care for your family as much as you can, and help the fight against this heartless disease.
December 19th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
No, your kids don’t have their Mom but they have you … what a blessing. A man who loves them and feels and cries and grieves. A man who is angry because he was cheated … a man who cannot understand why … a man who knows where the value is in life. They will miss their mother always and grieve and cry and hurt. As will you. But they have you and you have them. If it was you who had died, they would be going through the same thing so don’t wish it upon them. I have never had a love like yours and I think sometimes it is because I could not bear the grief. I know I have missed out. I am so sorry that this has happened but life is simple … life, death. How cruel to take people like you with it. Please be strong.
December 19th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
God did not take your wife,and he is not taking your son.We all have to die ,plants animals ect,cancer is a nasty vile thing and i know how you feel,the pain and your loss,but god did not do this that would be cruel and our god is a loving god,we find it hard to understand that god can watch us but do nothing.The days of miricals are over.he will help you in ways you wont even know about but as for stopping cancer or not letting one die does not happen.plants get black spot ,mould and so on,just as we get a disease so do they.firstly go to the doctor tell him you wish to know all about your sons illness and what can be donefor him.do everything in your power to save your son .you do it .if your son needs expensive treatment to make him well ,.get the money .GO TO A CHARITY,or do fund raising ect ,you help your son.Dont let your loss over your wife stop you helping your son i know how hard this is when you are in the depths of sorrow,your wife would want you to fight for him,to be strong not to give in, your his daddy get in there and fight .and you will see god will give you all the ideas all the strength all the power you need ,god gave us this fight in us ,this fight to survive.God bless you be strong for your son he needs you to fight for him
December 20th, 2008 at 4:35 am
Be strong man ….your kids needs you more than anything right now.Just stand up and tell yourself to be strong……….
December 22nd, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Don’t just say your prayer here, Mike.
Go to your room, go on your knees, and say it to Him directly.
He is listening. He is.
Miracles will come, if you believe. If you ask.
Trust me. I’ve experienced.
God loves you : )
December 24th, 2008 at 1:03 am
God will bless you again.I’m so sorry you lost your wife.God called her up before you.Maybe he knew you would be able to handle her lost better that her handling yours.Blessings are sometimes gifts.God gave you a gift of a wonderful women.A companion and a friend.You are not alone my friend….You are never alone.
I ask that God comfort you in these days .
You are loved still even in these dark days.There will be light again…
Colleen
December 24th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Keep Your Chin up. Don’t fall. Stay strong for your children.
December 24th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
We can never give everlasting life to our loved ones no matter how much we do. Only God can fulfill His promise of everlasting life. Let’s succumb to His will and trust Him. My prayers are with you Mike. Merry Christmas!
December 24th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Mike,
When such an emotional injury takes place, you will eventually–every person has his or her own time–begin a process that is as natural as healing as a physical wound. At first, the pain is unbearable. Well, unseemingly so. The rend in the heart initially hurts worse than a bullet to the chest. But if you let it happen naturally (and please, do not turn to the wrong people or any drugs to replace her; seek out groups of people who feel the same, if you feel the inclination), the process itself really WILL HAPPEN. Trust it. Let it happen. Surrender yourself utterly to it. Cry if you must. Beat a steering wheel and punch pillows. Eat really bad food once in a while. Lose any faith in the world for a while. Sleep a lot.
Once this process happens, minute by minute, then day by day, month by month, and season by season, then year by year, you will start to understand why this happened. Then put it to good use. Whether through your children (and you’ll eventually remember: your children see all that you do. See her through them. Remember she is watching you. Think slowly about what she’d want if the roles were reversed. And know that you will affect how you handle this for the rest of their lives), your advocacy regarding cancer, your overall will to live, or a combination of a few, some, or all, the clouds will slowly dissipate.
Above all, be kind to yourself. Crawl into God’s lap, and let yourself cry there; let him stroke your hair, and whisper to you that this time will eventually give you enough strength to see the light that eventually shines through.
And I PROMISE YOU, you will be okay; the mere fact that you have chosen to come to this page and seek help, advice, and support means that you have chosen to live life. For your children. For your family. Your friends. For yourself.
Write us any time–we need you, too.
R
December 24th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Hi Mike,
First of all I would like to tell you that I feel for you, and would like to remind you that there is Someone out there who’s probably feeling more more pain with your suffering than us out there. I’d like to suggest that you recount the story of Job from the Christian Bible and try to draw inspiration and understanding from it. I hope it will make you stronger.
I believe God works in ways invisible to us, and am sure that this is all part of His grand scheme. Try to live on and make your Father proud knowing that you’re ready to give everything for His glory.
I will be praying for you my brother.
Father in Heaven, the source of all mercy and joy. I am raising my brother Michael to you. Please spare him from further suffering. Should Your Divine Plan require him to go through all this, enlighten his path and guide him with your hand. Strengthen him with Your grace to carry out his destiny, and to make you prouder. This I ask in the name of my Savious Jesus, Amen
December 26th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
I am so sorry for your series of unfortunate events, i am sure God will help you and one day you will understand in Gods whole plan. I wish you the best for you and your children.
May God be with you.
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:02 am
Dear Mike, I lost my wife of 3.5 yrs. unexpectantly in 1989. She was a beautiful person. She was a preachers daughter of all things and I was not serving the Lord when we met. I really never figured out why God let her die at 24 years old and took it very hard. 3 years later God sent me a new wife who I love very much. We have three beautiful girls and have been married for 17 years. We have been through alot together and she is a cancer survivor. Two years ago my wife decided to tell me she is not in love with me and wants a divorce. As you can imagine I took the news very hard. I’ve had some bad days! I have been living in a apartment for the last two years praying and seeking God to restore our marriage. I have become alot closer to God and since then I have my twin daughters living with me now. My oldest still lives with her mom. Im not sure what to say to you through this storm that you are going through? You have a deep wound and No it wont go away. It will only scar over. You will come out a stronger person and never give up on God! He’s there and wants to help. He is crying and hurting for you. God did not take your wife. Yes He could have stopped it. And we dont know why. It all started in the Garden bro. Sin has caused many a storms in our lives, but Jesus paid the ultimate price for us all. Together lets have the faith that God will heal your child and your heart. Surround yourself with Christians and get in some kind of support group. If your up to it read the book Dont take my grief away. May God shine down on you and dont give up the faith. Your friend in Christ, Van
January 8th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Some of the comments on this page is incredible… incredibly insensitive. Some of the other comments will actually help Mike. The rest of the people trying to sell their own theologies and ideologies will have to answer for it.
Mike
Together with some of the comments I have nothing to add, accept…
Stay close to God… He IS near to you! Having a relationship also means fighting with the one you love. You’re relationship with God is strong, because you are fighting with Him.
Without any fighting the answers will not satisfy
Kind regards and good luck
January 13th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Your wife is a good person so God took her away from such a messy world. She started a peaceful life in paradise. You should be tough enough to fill family with love and hope. Kids need you. God will give you couragement and power. Life is struggling, kill yourself or get over it.
January 18th, 2009 at 7:27 am
I can fully understand your pain. It was March 11th 2008, my wife and I were staying with my mother in law, (She was ill, having had a series of strokes), we were there to help her. Most of what we owned was in her house. I receive a panicked telephone call from my wife at 4:30 in the afternoon, that “Mom’s house is on fire, Mom is on fire”. Some men would say some kind of rotten comment about mothers in law, but I actually loved my mother in law. She was a good woman, and a good friend, not to mention she brought my wife into this world. On March 13th she passed away from her injuries from the fire. We lost vitually everything. Not to mention we had a number of cats, and dogs. They were like our children. Mind you we are not these wierd people that have animals, and treat them like humans, we just love animals. We were crushed. We lost everything. September 2, 2008 the love of my life, my fantasy, my lover, confidant, best friend, and soul mate passed from this life. She had cancer also. I held her as she took her last breath. I cannot unsee, unhear, unsmell, or unfeel, what I have been through. I lost nearly everything in March, and then lost the rest in September. I am alone, very frightened, and ask God everyday to take my life. I beg and plead with tears streaming down my cheeks to end this pain, and let me be with my hearts desire. I dont know why I came across this web site, but know this Mike, you are not alone. My wife can be seen on cancersucks.ca her name is Debbie Henry. She is the most beautiful person I have ever known. Give your wife a tribute, and give that. Its not much nor does it stop the pain, but I can tell you this much, it lets the world know her. If you ever wish to talk just to talk e-mail me anytime. travelingtrashman@yahoo.com I welcome any responses, or advice. I dont know how long I will be here, I feel my time is short, but to Mike I say, avenge your wife. Fight the disease that has left you and I so alone.
January 31st, 2009 at 4:21 pm
hey bro! well, im not married yet and dont have kids either. but i lost my brother two years ago in a car accident. I couldnt believe it! He was on his way to church to go serve God! the blessed hope I have is is that from his actions and the life he lived showed Gods love and light. I for awhile i couldnt understand why He took my 18 year old brother away from me and my family. But, as soon as I gave it ALL up to God, and I stopped trying to understand with my understanding, and asked told God to help me become more like Him through this and for peace and comfort, He did, because I have a personal relationship with Him. Iv gotten through years and days and days of hurt is because God comforts His children who hurt. Jesus is my ROCK and my SALVATION!!! I felt, and im sure you feel like this too, is Job. Job was a man of God. Job was a man God boasted to Satan about how righteous Job was. Well, Satan was like, Job only loves you because you bless him with money, clothes, and a big family. God was like, alright, il show you Job will not curse me even though I allow his FAMILY, MONEY, and EVERYTHING to be destroyed. Through this Job NEVER cursed God. Job knows God gives and He takes away. He trusted God in the light that this is for His glory. I want you to realize that once a person is saved, we are not guaranteed money, fame, prosperity or anything that we are gonna leave behind when we die which the only thing that we are taking when we die is, is you. The ONLY thing that matters for the Christian is becoming more like Christ! I have a question for ya, to you who is Jesus Christ? if you want to il help you. but in the mean time i love you with the love that Jesus Christ loves you. He wants to forgive you and all you need to do is accept this free gift. Once you do this you have something to live for no matter whats going on around you. aIm praying for you! a’ight, im out
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:36 am
I always believe that winter is followed by spring.
February 19th, 2009 at 6:51 am
Dear Mike
To loose so much in life and have to struggle through more hardships is a burden no one can carry alone. I do not believe in god but I believe in good people and good positive energy. I believe that people will cross your path and help you and your family. Take it a day at a time. Accept that you have to go through all this and make a decision to give all the love your heart can generate to your children. Children are stronger than you think, but they need someone to show them how. You will be surprised how they can just be happy and content when they see their father is strong and loving. Remember, a day at a time. You will pull through.
February 21st, 2009 at 2:02 pm
I wish you comfort. My comfort comes only from visitations to the cemetery, followed by tears and talking to a headstone. Many want you to “feel better” but it doesn’t happen simply. It relegates me to telling them what they wish to hear. Images of my wife come to me at any time of day or night. I love her, just as you surely do yours. My life tragically ended on August 6th of 2008 and I live to provide for her kids. My only source of happiness is my memories with her, which are unfairly and equally offset by the enormous tragedy for me and the world. Perhaps like your wife, on many occasions she lit up the room and was a smile magnet I cry for all of us.
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:47 am
i believe that things will get better soon.
i hope that helps.
April 5th, 2009 at 7:57 am
My dear friend, life does not begin or end with us. We are ALL part of the Almighty’s divine plan. Everything happens for a reason. weather that reason is apparent to you at the present or not. I promise you Mike, God is watching you, And God is doing what is meant to be done. Always follow god, and always remember that nothing happens by accident. my prayers are with you my friend.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Because there is no God; if there was, then why would he make your wife and children sick, presuming they didn’t do anything that deserves the wrath of your God?
April 25th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
There is no God. That should be obvious to everyone. Life is short that’s why we shouldn’t waste that time living in fear. Religion is about controlling through fear. Be free.
May 23rd, 2009 at 11:43 am
You must stay strong for your kids. I know it is difficult to lose a loved one but you know what? you shouldnt live life in sadness. You should celebrate the time yo had with her. Thank God that you did meet her. Is it better o have loved and lost or never loved at all? I think you know te answer to that question. Celebrate life with your family because each day is a blessed gift. Have you ever watched a walk to remember? you should. it might open your eyes. Im not hear to tell you if there is a God or not but what I am here to say is that you must show your kids that death ispart of life and the beginning of a journey. If you dont, they will grow up fearing death. You must be strong for yourself also. do not hold a gruge because of hat you lost, be thankful that you had it in the first place.
Have a wonderful life.
Vanessa
June 24th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
It has to be very hard to lose a spouse. I am so sorry that you had to experience this. God is very sorry that you had to experience this and it pains Him. I have not experienced that but my pastor has. I need you to understand that God IS NOT an “ant bully” with a magnifying glass raining havoc on His creation. He made us and intended for prefection. His perfect plan for us was destroyed when we chose sin and satan over God and what He told us to do. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. If you say that you have not sinned you are a liar. Does this mean that your wife died because of a personal sin by her or you? NO! Dealth entered the world when Adam and Eve disobeyed God in eden. Dealth (cancer) did not exist until the fall. Also, now that our world is a train wreck, the BIBLE tells us that this world is under the control of the evil one. We are living on enemy soil. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ there is a perverbial-gaint-red-bullseye on your back and satan had his finger on the trigger any chance he gets. satan is out to seek and destroy anyone, indiscrimminately. The beauty of this tragedy is that your wife, whom God loved so much to give His One and Only Son for, is having the time of her eternal life in the NEW Jerusalem! God did not take her! God is not the bad guy. Remember the character of God and also remember the character of satan the deciever. Also, remember that power and witness you have as a godly man in the hands of an ALMIGHTY GOD. Make satan pay for messing with you and your wife and family. With every breath that you have make him pay. Every time he reminds you of your past you remind him of his future! Burn baby burn!
July 31st, 2009 at 10:40 pm
First, let me say how sorry I am for your babies, and yourself for your tremendous loss there is only time to dissolve the pain of such a huge loss, but we are all connected as human’s and we share in your pain for so great a loss. –But, do not be misled to believe that the invisible man in the sky who was dreamed up by the same people who are trying to kill us today, they have always lived in the hopeless deserts of the world, and it was common in their day to believe in an external spirit for different things. They believed in the spirit of Fire, Rain, pestilence, death, etc. There were so many that could not be explained rationally that it made possible this room for unknown spiritual forces to exist, and there was a real need for an organizing principle, a first order explanation for life, death, fire, rain, etc… THEN there was the invention God, an all knowing Wizard of everything from A thru Z where all pain, and joy, success, and failure, and life and death emanates from. It was a singularity of focus that required all sentient beings to pay homage to, the invisible being which became an Over-Lord of powerful KINGS, a tool to keep tabs on the people a weapon if you will that KINGS were in touch with…
I know that isn’t a fair hearing of what GOD became over secular millennia to believing people, but in the end it is simply belief not a fact. Allow me to posit another view of this phenomena. Let’s say there is a God, then why are people left to believe of God in the ancient context of primitives? I could almost believe in God if this entity weren’t perceived by most all of mankind in this way, it is ridiculous that people falsely attribute the text of the master manuals of religion to a God. For instance, the book known as the Bible was written by dozens of people over centuries, the prophet Jesus only became immortal based on a decision by the Roman rulers of the day to settle their peasant’s by deciding their Jesus could better serve the Roman’s if he were given the status of an immortal for their population to focus upon instead of uprising.
But, my assertion for why the God our parents introduced to us, this wrathful, judgmental, loving, forgiving, bipolar being of Good and Evil is without doubt a fraud and does not exist for some very simple reasons, and it is this simplicity that explains it. First, a supreme being would not allow his creations the capability of killing each other, or of suffering disease, of dying and leaving little children to suffer, or of greed, etc.. The being would not create disharmony on purpose, and mankind is perfect disharmony. In fact, no supreme being would create “his only people” on a minor planet on the outskirts of an unremarkable galaxy as galaxies are concerned. When one stops to really think about the whole notion of a supreme being who is capable of placing 200 plus BILLION SUNS in our Milky Way Galaxy, that being would certainly would not have selected the small 3rd planet orbiting a smallish Sun, that is just ONE of two-hundred billion. The point is that the Earth is so insignificant a planet in such an average to small a galaxy located in the Boondock’s area of galaxies that it would seem to relegate this supreme being to some second rate weekend garage scientist… There is another thing that is a bit of an irony, the Supreme being would necessarily have to be a scientist in one for or fashion!
Finally, to think that a supreme being wastes time listening to feedback from worship-ers with all of their gripes while there is an entire universe to oversee would seem more than a little self-centered?
My credo is respect one another, Love one another . . .
August 5th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
I think your site is a god thing. It is amazing And has touched so many people. Some of the most inspirational and life changing people have become so from loss of love ones. You are one. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes just cherishing my wife and kids. Life is short but love is everlasting.
October 29th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Son, I took your sister because I love her and heard the desire of her heart.
Trust me.