Dear Life, I’m 25 and failing life in a world that left me behind. I have no job because no one will hire me without an education, but I can’t afford one without a job. My credit is shot when my last employer fired me and I needed loans to stay alive. My teeth are rotting because I can’t afford to see a dentist, my friends won’t see me because I had to move out of the city to live at home while I try to fix my life and the prospects of getting any sort of gainful work out here is slim.I’m a 25 year old lower class citizen. Everyone talks like people are all equal here but it simply isn’t true. When I walk down the street the only people who look at me are the homeless, the addicts and the helpless. I’m lost, I’m scared, and I don’t know how long I can do this. I was always one of the smartest people my friends knew but that isn’t enough to make it. Nothing is worse than being intelligent enough to see how bad things are for yourself and realizing this is all you’re going to have. I’m just waiting for the end now.
Maine, Toronto/Canada
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April 16th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Blessed are the poor for they shall see God.
Jesus had no home to call his home, he was despised and rejected by many. Acquainted with sorrow and grief.
You are NOT alone, you are in good company. Estou orando por voce.
John
April 16th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
God loves you and still values you, He created you not so He can enjoy watching you suffer but so he can prosper, he has not forgotten his promises. he is faithful and just and listens to our prayers, so hang in there, talk to him and ask him the questions you have unanswered and pray to him sincerely, faithfully and consistently.
Above all, I pray for peace over your life, strength to overcome these hardships and everlasting joy!
“Be still and know that I am God!”
April 16th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Jesus, you sound just like my ex-boyfriend.
Being coddled by goodwill is all very well, but if you want to get your life together you need to stop blaming everyone else and get started.
- Education: There are plenty of jobs you can get without an education. You might not like them - waitressing much? - but they’ll help you pay the bills and get started.
- Teeth: A toothbrush and paste costs almost nothing and there is no excuse for not brushing your teeth. Call your local teaching hospital and find out where their dental students practise, and you can get the really bad teeth sorted for free.
- Credit: If your credit rating is that bad, loans are only going to make the situation worse. Talk to a bank or another company about consolidating all your loans and then - and I repeat this - get a job.
Your main problem is thinking you are so smart that you can’t actually get on in the world. You are neither above nor below everyone else - you’re just in a mess. Start tackling your problems one at a time and everything will sort itself out. You’re 25, you’ve got years ahead of you, and it’s up to you whether you continue to flounder around in misery, or get up and get sorted.
Good luck, now get on with it.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
hi maine,
if you exist that’s a great thing. life is to be enjoyed and no matter how bad things seem it could be worse. you have relative freedom in canada to live as you see fit. what are you interested in? what are your passions? how would you like to spend your days? try and figure out what you like and follow that path. start by volunteering maybe. i know you might think that you have nothing to offer but that’s not case. everyone has the capacity within them to help other people. mark twain once worth something to the effect of ‘if you want to make yourself happy do something nice for someone else. you could start with your parents who are probably as freaked out about the situation as you are. what little thing could you do to make your parents happy? being optimistic could be one. or a hug or fixing that drainpipe. what you do doesn’t really matter, it’s how you do it. spread as much love as you can and feel it coming back to you multiplied.
please post a reply and let us know how you are doing,
best wishes,
donal, dublin
April 17th, 2008 at 12:01 am
Maine,
Think about how you can fix your predicament in a series of small steps. I am assuming you are living with your parents for this..
1) make yourself as clean as you can be. Dental colleges have workshops where the students work on volunteers. You can have many common dental issues handled in this way for free.
2) you must be able to get some kind of employment. In winnipeg, there are tons of jobs in virtually every sector right now. If your state of mind and appearance bar the way: start with something simple. The goal of work is to immediately improve your sense of self worth and put a little money in your pocket. Many jobs place willingness to work over appearance since they don’t work with the public. Call centers and the trades both come to mind and I know because I have worked in both.
3) As crazy as it sounds - do you have anything that you can give away to someone else who is also hurting? Charity will do your soul wonders.
4) Volunteer. If you are able- help someone else. There is real proof out there that helping someone else when you are in a time of need helps you too.
5) If you have enough food, then your body can safely exercise. Do this daily.
Apply a “twelve step” type one-day-at-a-time approach. Don’t judge your failures from yesterday, just try your best today.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:14 am
If you need help, God will do it…..
But i too can help you, conct me at : cleber152005@hotmail.com
April 17th, 2008 at 12:23 am
When you say you’re just thinking of the end now - imagine how those words would sound to a mother who’s just lost a child, or people struggling to stay alive in a place where they are surrounded by famine, violence and no future? Harsh sentiment but true. You’re 25 and live in one of the richest countries in the world - but more than that - it offers opportunities and freedom. Surely you can capitalise on that, especially at such a young age when the life you are living now can be very different when you’re 28 or 30? Depression is a terrible illness as it clouds all judgement, all perspective. No doubt you have it and it compounds all attempts to be positive. But you have a chance to change that by seeking help. A friend of mine threw himself off a cliff last April. The anniversary of his death is this coming week. But he was in his late 30’s, had a terminal illness and was suffering from psychosis. If he had managed to make use of the support that was around him to get him through that dark period he might still be here and the pain that his family are suffering now would not be an issue. You have that chance. Stay in touch with your friends, let them be the first bridge to recovery. No-one gives up on friends unless they are just not given the chance to help.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:04 am
everything is relative.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:19 am
Pick yourself up. You need to start believing in yourself or nobody else will. Start by volunteering and get your eyes off of you and there will be change. I promise. Life can be hard, but you can make. I believe in you.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Reading this, even before I scrolled to the bottom and saw the location, I had a sense of familiarity: Toronto’s my city. You’re not failing. It’s not easy, it’s true, but change doesn’t just happen. It takes work. No-one ever wants to hear that.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
GOD BLESS YOU
April 18th, 2008 at 12:11 am
Ask yourself: What can I do today to improve my situation. Like others have suggested, improving your self image is a good place to start. Clean yourself up…take a long walk….clear your head, then get to work. Make a list of all the possible places you could work…restaurants, super stores, ball parks, car washes….start thinking about possibilities not dead ends. You’re not going to get a “management” job, but you can get a job that will give you some income and boost your self esteem and probably help you make new friends. With a little experience, you can work your way up and begin gaining independence. If your credit is shot, accept the fact, do what you can to reduce debt after you get a job. You are young…the rest of your life will not be as it is today. Start taking positive steps to get your life in order. It will happen quicker than you think. Good luck.
April 18th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
“Tudo posso naquele que me fortalece”
Crciúma-SC, Brazil
April 18th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
don’t they have free healthcare in Canada?
April 18th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Theres no such thing as you can’t find a job. Either you want to, or you just don’t.
Make yourself presentable and go for an interview, you have no choice. Just accept any job u’r offered.
April 19th, 2008 at 5:29 am
I’m not going to patronize you like some of the above; I sympathize. Since people move on to college because everyone attends college, it’s little more than an extension of high school these days. Your grade factors in irrelevant matters like attendance or homework for students who otherwise couldn’t keep up. Rather than attending a more academically-challenging school after my first year, I decided to leave it. In my adolescent self-righteousness,, I concluded I was better than school. Obviously, it was a foolish choice. I lack any sort of passion to fall back on, like people who write books or sell gourmet dog treats and inexplicably make a fortune. For four years I worked my ass off in a retail environment that paid less than $8, which I could’ve gotten starting at a place like Best Buy. But I enjoyed what I did in the meantime and supplimented my income with odd jobs. I had to leave, ultimately, because I couldn’t get promoted without managerial experience. Not a degree, just experience. And I’m struggling to find something else, too. I’m in my early twenties, but I think I understand part of it. It’s personally insulting to accept a position alongside teenagers. It’s insulting that even though you were great at your job, it wasn’t a living wage, and nobody will start you high enough when pay is based on previous compensation. When you want to move out, but as long as your parents are offering a warm meal and reduced rent, you’ll take the opportunity to reside at home a little longer than necessary to save your money for a future of living paycheck to paycheck. When smug peers show you articles about “Post-cocious Adults,” and you want to prove them wrong, but it’s right, you’re too terrified of failure to even try that hard. And considering how people earning low-income wages are treated, of course it’s not that easy to become a “waitress,” as suggested earlier. As I said, I worked in retail where I was the anomaly (that is, uneducated). My co-workers were mostly graduate students and retired teachers, but we were still treated terribly by customers that looks down on the service industry. North America is full of snobs. One of the richest country in the world, perhaps, but everyone is familiar with the line about 20% of the world’s population controlling 80% of its wealth. I live in the United States, and only within the past two decades has the government started to address the issue of affordable healthcare. I took a class awhile back, and because the college deemed me insufficiently covered, I had to pay $400 for their insurance in addition to the $3200 I was paying to take one class, one night a week for one quarter. It’s outrageous. I was making $15,000 a year. It’s not that simple.
I’m sorry, Maine, that this is more a response to the vulgar and ignorant commenters than your own situation. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you in the meantime. The only way I have started to make any progress is to stop worrying about the big picture and just focus on one thing at a time, which, admittedly, sounds like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. There’s a degree of truth in that, though. It’s overwhelming when you’re looking for a future instead of just a job. I hope you find the strength within yourself soon.
April 19th, 2008 at 7:08 am
hey i am feeling the same things, i had a very good interwiew with Microsoft for job, it would be the great challange for me but i have no calls for two weeks, also i need money for my phone bill, credit cards , also in collage i lost a year for only one credit , i haven^t got any girlfriend i feel fat and bad etc… so you are not alone my friend may be the things different but life sucks sometimes, i hope you’ll find a way to get rid of these and you should see the movie ”pursuit of happyness” you’ll look life different, thats enough i think , just remember ”anyway the wind blows”
Istanbul / Turkiye
April 20th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Darl! You got one life. Choose to live it.
April 20th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Start from washing dishes at restaurants and cafes. Approach them with a smile and you will find one in 20 places are looking for people right now.
Then dream. Dream of something only you can do in this life.
Then if you need to study, study. If you need to set up some business on the side so that you can do what you want, then do it.
When you are honest, people will trust you. Mistakes are just another part of being human, so when it happens, just admit it, seek forgiveness and keep going.
April 20th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Hey don’t give up…your life is just starting at 25. You have your general health, your family, and you’ve still got your friends, though far.You have more reasons to carry on than a lot of people. Believe me, in this mystery called life we sometimes feel like we’ve been given the short end of the stick, but if you carry on now, one day when you are older you will just look back and be grateful that you got going. You will see better days.Trust me my friend, I used to feel that way but I persevered, and now I am much well off financially and stable and I could say, much more ’succesful ‘ careerwise. Yet the paradox is , if it makes you feel better,let me tell you that in my experience, the richer financially I was, the less happy I was. And don’t forget that a lot of the wealthy and succesful or inspiring people out there have never finished a higher degree of education but trusted in something they believed in. Also pray a heartfelt prayer to God in Jesus’ name…He ALWAYS answers.
April 20th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Maine
Though all seems hopeless….fear not…….I help those who help themsleves….You sound relatively smart for a human so sit down and think what you’d like to do with your life….Then find a way to reach that goal…I will not show myself…but I will help..
Can I also suggest that you spend a few years travelling in places like India or Africa….then you’ll really see how lucky you are…
Feel free to write back after you’ve done this
April 21st, 2008 at 4:32 pm
The best thing you can do when you don’t know what to do with your life is to give it away to God. Pray to God to break you down, to take your life away and to allow Him into your life.
So many of the previous comments are focused on ‘YOU, YOU, YOU”.. if you feel in your heart that you need to reach your God given potential, then give it all to God.
First step for you my friend is to walk into your local church, regardless of denomination, tell the Minister/Priest/Rev that you feel this way, that your heart is telling you to do this.
God bless champ
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:03 am
you is your god. No one can help you more than yourself.
i think you were lucky than another person in third world.
If you think you are lucky,it be come the ture.
April 23rd, 2008 at 11:23 am
you put into words what i could not, and described my miserable life right down to the last letter.
any day now i feel as though the full force of the storm will hit, and i just hope that my end comes before that day occurs.
take care
April 24th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Dude, I TOOOOTALLY resonated with “I’m just waiting for the end now” !!!
I’ll be 27 this year. Losing my job at end of Summer, and I don’t make much money. Facing finding a new job, or moving back home to mom.
Although I do have education, and I’ll probably be fine, I still feel that I relate to your feeling of hopelessness and disappointment with life!
I wish I could help you! Recently I’ve been thinking the worst case is I could be one of those creepy older guys working at McDonalds and eeking-out a living, or working at Blockbuster, and becoming a supervisor - and learning to be content with God and my life, no matter how poor I am - living in the moment.
What do you think?
April 25th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Hey Maine!
What about Europe? Maybe i can help! With kind regards Jarno!
April 27th, 2008 at 3:55 am
I am just like you. On nearly every point.
April 28th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Hi, you don’t say why you were fired, or maybe just laid off. My advice would be to get a job, any job, and do your absolute best possible at this job. Put on an act if you have to, to appear positive, it may stick a little, but above all, once you get work, work your heiny off. Good stuff happens when you do. and usually leads to better jobs etc.
Good luck and love to you.
April 29th, 2008 at 8:56 am
hey man…
dont ever lose hope, it is never too late for anything, there is a 45 year old woman in my lectures at university, she’s restarting and if she can, then so can you…
we live in a serendipitous world, be open to everything and especially to anyone, try find something in all that you come across that is positive…
the right attitude can guide anyone
all the best…
May 1st, 2008 at 2:20 am
Chris, you’re being simplistic.
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:40 pm
I’m sorry if it sounded simplistic, let’s say that is step one. He has had jobs before, he knows how to get’em, I think, and there are plenty of service jobs available in Canada. The pay sucks at first, but better than nothing. I have had a lot of life experience, and it is simple, work you a– off and you get places.
May 5th, 2008 at 9:54 am
as cliched as it sounds, dont give up, you’re in a situation that isnt the best but it could be worse, try and think of the positives - there will be someone out there who will employ you, small steps are what it takes. good luck