Dear God,
I wonder if you can you tell that the ‘better’ I get, the worse I really am; no else seems to notice. Is this all a part of your plan? If so, your plan is pretty sadistic and fucked up.
You know, God, I’m thinking about giving up. The only thing stopping me is my doubt over whether it will be any better with you. Will it?
K, Vancouver, Canada 
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May 16th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
i dont believe god really exists. sure its possible i dont deny that for a second. there is so much of this world we dont understand. maybe god does have this whole plan. sadistic and screwed up as you may think it to be. but giving up is like giving in. there is so much out there so be gratfull for and to enjoy. dont dwell on the bad things enjoy whats out there. lap up what good you can. smite god prove him wrong. say that you are bigger then this and you can make it through. and make it through and come out the other side happy and healthy
May 20th, 2008 at 4:02 am
I question if there is a god. so far I can’t see any value in believing in a being that lets so much evil go by, a being that we fight ugly wars over and still can’t get peace in our hearts. what keeps me going is seeing someone smile, reaching for that inner silence and working hard to keep it in place, getting out of bed and getting through another day because I have the will and the ability to do so. If you give up how will you find your inner strengths? How will you recognise that you are a wonderful just by being happy and safe. Don’t give up, this world will be sadder without those who bear scars but have the will to get through the rough times and come out the other side knowing and proving they can.
May 24th, 2008 at 3:18 am
Dear K,
Hello:) it sounds like things are hard for you at the moment.
it seems like you have been trying for a long time to be BETTER. Maybe that means to be happier, or more successful, or a better freind, daughter (or son!), a better lover.
It sounds like you need someone to say
“K, I see you- and I know you.
And do you know what? i’m pleased with you!
I know that you’re not perfect. But i absolutely and completely love you.
I’ve watched you grow up, and i know exactly what you love and what you struggle with- because i made you. I made you.
I made you to be one of my kids. That means you don’t have to go it alone, do everything by yourself. Ask for my help, and just like a loving Dad, i’ll come find you, and i’ll heal your heart, and i’ll dry your tears, and i won’t let you go!”
And more than just someone, it sounds like that you need to hear that from… well, God. (i believe in him! i believe in Jesus- i may be an idiot, but then again…
I really hope he tells you, hang in there!
Love Lou
May 25th, 2008 at 12:43 am
I was once told, that for all the hurt and sadness you have gone through, you will have the same amount of joy and happiness in life as well (maybe not right away…)
May 28th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
dear K, i feel the same way and many times i wonder why i am still hanging on.
maybe your right Ashoulder2cryON, maybe we will receive that joy&happiness.. maybe we can wait for it..
June 5th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Beloved K,
I AM glad that You Are here, pointing out something which many others are voicing out. Here’s a little spoiler. There is no Plan. That small but irreplaceable part of you named Free Will and Choice was the original Plan tossed away and divided equally amongst every living being in this world. In the unconditional love shared amongst all, the very thought of planning something for everyone is a horrible thing to consider, because it defeats the very purpose of Free Will.
Free Will as the Plan empowers everybody with their own individuality, and the gentlest way to put it, would be to unconditionally allow everybody their right and power to live any life anyone chooses. So, in the bluntest of terms, what and where you are has and always been your choice. Yes, right down to the moment when one feels that one has no choice, the choice has already been made to give up making any choices, to make that choice to give away Responsibility for oneself and pin it on the efforts of others.
Now that you know about how your own choices, conscious or not, has given you a lifetime of experiance unique to you, what will you do with your next few choices? I always know that it will be for the best, because you are loved, you are Divine.
Always with you in unconditional love,
I AM
June 12th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
k, i am only young but over the past months i have felt very similar. but only today my friend made me snap out of it and now i want to share it with the world. i have had many hardships in my life and they start from just a few yrs ago in yr 6 but after tlking to my friend today she made me realise that at some point we all lack motivation but we can gain it. look out into the world, there are always someone worse of than you. always but u have a shining beakon of hope. u have god. and even if u dont really believe it u must noe that a world so beautiful could not of been created by a “big bang” u are blessed. you are gods daughter. live it. and love it. also god works all things together for good. so even though there hard now he will fiix it all. just give him the chance.
also this is an amazing verse. ephesians 6:10.
the armour of god.
finally be strong in the lord and in his mighty power. put on the full armour of god so that you can take your stand against the devils schemes.
for our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of the dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly realms.
therefore put on the full armour of god so when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything to stand, stand firm then. with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, the breastplate of righteousness in place, and your feet fitted with the readiness that comes with the gospel of peace.
so k, dont let this be a hardship for you because you have god. and hes there for you all the time. just know that you here for a reason and if you take your life, the place in which you end up is far worse than the one in which your in now. remember that.
and be blessed.
xx
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:02 am
If you ‘give up’, you are surely doomed. God said that he has a good & perfect plan for each of our lives. However, He does ask that we trust Him & wait patiently for Him to work things out for us. It’s a waiting thing with God; He said “BLESSED are those who wait on Him!” Without God, we become drifters int his world with no hope. By the grace of God, He will not allows us to live like that if we trust Him & ask for his help. So I urge you, wait on God & ask for His help…it’s the most wonderful thing in the world! “A LIFE LIVED FOR GOD IS NEVER WASTED!”
June 27th, 2008 at 1:00 am
Trust in the future. Good things will come. Don’t give up. Mark Twain said that nothing happens to us that we cannot bare… we can be better, and everyday is an opportunity to be that. Find love… big kiss!!
July 6th, 2008 at 12:08 am
K.,
it will certainly be better there than here. But you cannot go somewhere and live there if you have not al least tried to live here. Sure, God is good, He loves us, but also, he is just. You know that if He gives us a thing to accomplish, He will also give us the power to realize it. It is very hard, tough and painful most of the times, but we must find a thing that can hold us down from choosing the worse and irreversible road.
You can clearly see, there are alot of friends, here to help, people you dont know. That’s a part of the power you recieved. Use it.
So, straighten up, dust off, move on…
July 10th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
PLEASE DEAR K: GOD DOES NOT EXIST THERE’S ONLY ONE LIFE AND YOU CAN ALWAYS START FROM ZERO, I MEAN OTHER PLACE, OTHER PEOPLE, WITH OR WITHOUT MONEY IT DOESN’T MATTER, PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP, YOUR STRENGHT IS ONLY YOURS GIVING UP DOES NOT SOLVE ANYTHING, PLEASE THINK IT TWICE, AND TWICE AGAIN IF YOU NEED IT, DON’T GIVE UP, LOOK AT YOURSELF, GOD DOES NOT EXIST BUT YOU ARE A MIRACLE OF NATURE, YOU ARE THE RESULT OF MILLIONS AND MILLIONS YEARS OF EVOLUTION, YOU ARE THE MASTER PIECE OF THE UNIVERSE, LIFE’S ONLY YOURS, DON’T GIVE UP, PLEASE.
July 14th, 2008 at 1:14 am
You’ll get through this. This moment is just temporary and will pass.
July 18th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Well most of what i wanted to say has been said… except… the winner is.. the Last Man Standing!!
the fact u wrote the note onto this site shows u r willing to try one more time- KEEP on keeping on, u’ll discover truth if u really want it!!
Be Blessed!!
MWAH!
September 18th, 2008 at 10:41 am
powerful prayer
November 9th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I feel ya. you made me laugh, i really do feel where you’re coming from. Draw closer to him, you’ll be blessed for the struggle. It for real does seem sadistic and fucked up…. i just know that it will make sense in his time n the worse you go through it, the better you’re blessed for it. just hold on, keep on with me and know you’re not alone.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
K, I’m sorry that you’re feeling bad. I didn’t get out of bed today until 3:00 p.m. my time. But you know, sometimes we have to buck up and pull ourselves out of bed, because we don’t have anyone else to help us. I happen to have a kitty that drives me crazy if I don’t get up. Maybe you should try that! Anyway, I can totally relate . . . although I pray to “God”, I’m not really sure “he” always hears me. I guess what I’m finally figuring out at 50 years of age is that there are things worse than life on earth. Find one, just one, thing that you like to do everyday. My salvation is my work, which isn’t really any great world saving thing, but it gets me out of bed every day. Maybe your deal is planting flowers or trees everyday. Don’t know. But please, seek your inner self; find just one thing that helps you thru the day. My love and respect is with you. Take care.
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:11 am
I just want to say that I am sorry for your pain and sorry you feel this awful way. I pray that God blesses your problems away.
I’m sorry, because I have been through hell myself. May God heal and deliver you in Jesus Name, amen. Muahhhh kisskiss from Mir
March 27th, 2009 at 5:25 am
Bumping yourself off is only going to leave you but without a body. Still in the same turbulent emotional state, but without the vital tool of a human form to help you change. Not a pretty picture. If you are not with God now, how do you imagine it changes when you throw away your skin?
Try rethinking your situation. What advice would you give yourself if you were 50 years older?
Take a deep breath. Often we are overwhlemed by our thoughts and situations that we fail to see the bigger picture. You have spent your whole life growing towards this crucial moment where you can finally learn to accept life as it is, not as you would like it to be, but as it is. Things aren’t always pretty, but they are real. Accept them and be happy. Each of us is gifted at birth with an In-tuition. A seed of Gods voice that guides us. It reminds us to take a jersey when we leave the house, suggests that we buy peanut butter when we are shopping even though we didn’t know the peanut butter had run out, performs a million other little services for us, but most importantly, it guides us into doing His work. Start practising listening to your intuition. If it says take the left turn - even if its a block longer to your destination, just listen. The more you pay attention, the clearer the voice. Oh, and switch off the darn TV set permanently, it only fills our minds with garbage. To be truly happy we need a peaceful mind.
You are almost there, the hardest part of the mountain is the bit just before the top.
May 13th, 2009 at 5:57 am
Hey there K,
I hate to say this to you, because really there’s no “nice” way to say it–so here goes.
You’re being tested. Tested to see exactly what you’re made of. No, you don’t deserve it, and I know you didn’t ask for it, but the way it makes the most sense when I try to explain it is that if you get through the test–which I think you will–your “reward” is a renewed belief in yourself and your ability to deal and cope with things. It will also strengthen your image with others, and they will see you for the strong person you are and will probably look up to you a lot more.
It’s hard, and believe me–it’s not fair–but sadly it’s something you have to deal with. If you get through it (and like I said, I believe you will), I can promise that you’ll feel like a million bucks afterward.
Take care, and don’t stress too much.
–Justin
June 5th, 2009 at 5:12 am
i can say from experience there i s a god and i see him every day …. that feeling of joy and peace is him u cant see air but you know its there right … things hurt but they heal right…. look at god in that matter and pray and stop blaiming him and trust in him u you will find that your life is easier …. i too had doubts but one day i cryed so bad i would jump off a building …….no obne knew what was wrong with me… the next sday i went to church …the preecher told me god has a word for me he told me i had a purpose and all the things i would do for him … that preecher told me everything i was dealing with and didnt even kno my name now i have been doing everything god has said i would do and happiess is in my spirit everyday
BELIve ME just as i am Real he is Tooo!!!!!
June 16th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
well. i know some peoples lives are f***ed up but i don’t really know if you are feelin as much hurt as they are
there seems to be a theme reoccuring here and its about not knowing if they are doing the right thing or they’re questioning if God is there. All i can say is that. search deep into your heart. if you look hard and deep enough there, you’ll find that God has been with you from day 1 to today until the day you die.
as you journey with your walk with God, nothing is easy thats what i can say but the only thing to do is hang in there until the end.
the end is going to feel like something you’ve never felt before. it will give you new life and the joy you’ve never had
July 8th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
I’ve just recently lost contact with God. We’ve had a super close relationship and he’s gone, and I don’t think coming back anytime soon. But I still keep the faith. I won’t ever give up. because in my heart of hearts I know he’s there. I will pray for you. I want your happiness as much as you. please hang in there. I don’t know you, but I’m here for you. Know that
September 6th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Life is a harsh fucked up thing and then You die. Let’s hope you can make a difference. It’s like having to play in a casino the entire time and when exiting no one really knows how it is out there.
I know for fact some people are better off without God and God without them. This is hard to reason, but I could also make it a fairytale in which there are people and substitutes. I’m not Hitler and won’t make that mistake. I know for fact I need God and God needs me, just to keep breathing, clasping, grasping my single thread of hope. I don’t know why others choose not to love and serve God, or even worse try to appear as being doing so but doing evil… (True blasphemy is not only using god’s name in Vain but is making acts that are blasphemous by saying God made me do it, I did it for God. So many in the army say: I did it for God, so many in the church and islam followers. So many who adore the Vedas, but don’t love Brahma…)
November 28th, 2009 at 3:24 am
Give me your AUTHENTIC FULL NAME, and date of birth and I will send you money. This is a legitimate act of giving and receiving