Dear God,
I have one word for you, dude: Vision.
Having been in the ad game since the days when the right length pony tail got you an executives position, I can tell you a thing or two about your brand. Firstly, your PR guys are bad for your image. No one wants to do business with hypocrites so until your boys in the robes can start behaving themselves, your organization is going to suffer image problems.Secondly, cut the hair and lose the beard. I’m seeing a short back and side and at the very least a goatee for you. Thirdly, the crucifix thing died when Madonna set them on fire for Pepsi. I’m thinking we go for a octagon in a nice shade of fushia.Finally we need to condense the Old and New Testament into an online blog and YouTube a few miracles if you want to reach those selfish little Gen Y assholes. Those pricks live online and have plenty to go to confession for, but its gotta come to them so confesstube, may be something to think about.I do consultancy works for $1800 an hour . No personal cheques, I don’t care who you are.leon Stellar,
Orion Media Partners - New York/USAShare:
April 14th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
haha YESYESYES about the hypocrites.
April 14th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
It’s nonsense to make the link between pr and hypocrisy, he just has the wrong kind of pr support - he needs a rebrand and some fresh thinking that’s all.
April 14th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Spot on, dude. Spot on. Coming from Boston, I can relate to the “do as I say” thang. I was raised Jewish and am a Unitarian, but I think Jesus was a cool hunter and an interesting guy, but he should have visited “What Not To Wear” and stayed on the down low so the Romans don’t get jealous.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:32 am
I’m sure the beard and the hair was very much “in” during his period, so I’m sure Jesus was in fashion back then.
Although the common perception of the appearance Jesus is very inaccurate apparently… Apparently that is not how Jesus looked at all. The depiction was manipulated to make him look more “holy” back in the days. Who knows? He may as hell have been an unattractive man.
But I agree, the body of christ is seriously retarded. Many so called “christians” are ruining his name/body.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:58 am
I whole-heartedly agree. Humor aside, it is a huge problem with Christianity - but then again thats the beauty of it. If Jesus wanted to be liked, he could have sucked up to the religious and political leaders of the time. Instead, he hung out with the washups and screwups and ended up getting killed off. If Christians weren’t washups and screwups and hypocrites, then we wouldn’t need Christ.
Christians aren’t meant be liked. In fact, Christianity done right is supposed to bring on persecution. So why so irrational? It’s worth it - but that’s for you to find out.
@Mark check out the Emergent Church, which more or less rejects the methods and culture of Evangelical Christianity and seeks to be relevant to the modern world.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:34 am
If Christ were argentinian, i’m sure he would be on our street style blog.
this is so creative, loves!
http://www.onthecorner.com.ar
April 15th, 2008 at 1:56 am
“condense the old and new testament into an online blog and youtube a few miracles if you want to reach those selfish little Gen Y assholes”
OMG hahahahaha!
This post is something in between a hilarious joke and the hard reality.
April 15th, 2008 at 2:55 am
This is Brilliant!
Go for it Jesus
April 15th, 2008 at 4:21 am
despite popular imagery (read long hair beard… white and blule/purplue robe. lamb over shoulder) Jesus was a working man… a carpenter. So a little rough around the edges. He was also not white. He would have had Olive skin… possibly a little like what we have as the typical terrorist stereotype. Here is a link… (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Proposedjesus.jpg ) a decent idea at what Jesus or a man from his area/social class etc. would have looked like.
Funny stuff though…. Check out this too… http://churchmarketingsucks.com/
April 15th, 2008 at 4:24 am
I think as informed media consumers, we should understand the media only presents ‘interesting’ angles for news. Zooming in on those handful of boo-boos is a view to narrow.
How many per cent of those ‘PR guys’ out of the other dudes are we talking about?
Yes, it is a shame that some fall and misrepresent their positions. But what do you expect, no one can never fall. At least they committed themselves to serve for a good cause all those years until that one fall they make. I’m sure they feel condemned enough. They’ve not offended us, but God, so let Him do His thing. He knows how to judge better than the smartest pants on earth.
Plus, what can all the numbers of bad testimonies do Him? Nothing and no one can alter His character.
Above all, let’s step back and broaden our perspective - there are plenty of those making a difference out there in the world such as Bono, Anberlin, Oprah Winfrey and Sun Ho. There’ll be those who fall out, but there’re even more who are rising up and adding value to the society.
Who are we to tell God what we think he should do?
Where were we when He laid the foundations of the earth?
But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise,
And God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;
And the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen and the things which are not,
To bring to nothing the things that are,
That no flesh should glory in His presence.
PS. Cool suggestions on reaching out to the youths through the Internet
April 15th, 2008 at 5:45 am
Very nice this new blog.
April 15th, 2008 at 11:28 am
i love my jesus, and this one was great. so funny.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Loved the goatee idea.
And fuchsia, absolutely
April 15th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Great great idea!
April 15th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Love everything about this site - pure genius
thank you x
April 16th, 2008 at 12:53 am
“Never judge a philosophy by its abuse”. I love how we can separate terrorists from Islam, but we can’t separate sinners from Christianity.
April 16th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Yeah sometimes the imperfect “sales-people” have abhorred ethics and business practices. Misrepresentation is nothing new. Truth has to be searched for sometimes. Instead of waiting for truth to rise above the noise, we sometimes have to quiet ourselves in the search for it. There is a reason we feel something is lacking… Maybe to fuel our search for the truth?
April 16th, 2008 at 6:54 am
“I love how we can separate terrorists from Islam, but we can’t separate sinners from Christianity.”
That’s not true. I don’t associate Neo-Nazis or KKK members with Christianity, no matter how often they flaunt the Bible at me.
The issue with Christianity doesn’t have to do with people who are twisting the religion like Al Queda or the KKK. It’s about Christianity’s apparent inability to deal effectively with the issue… or even address it at all. The Roman-Catholics were just shifting child-molesting priests to different parishes. That’s messed up.
Religion, much like the rest of life, is filled with lip-service hypocrites. It’s an unfortunate fact of human nature. Free Will’s a real kickin’ mule.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:25 am
bloody hilarious. There’s so much to love about this site. Its like God’s inbox
brilliant
April 17th, 2008 at 4:16 am
I charge less. $1600 per hour. I’ll throw in a free assessment on the branding of the Holy Spirit.
April 18th, 2008 at 4:57 am
godtube.com
April 19th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Brilliant.
April 20th, 2008 at 4:02 am
that picture is hilarious. i wonder if jesus drinks coffee.
my friend told me that life isn’t as serious as we think it is. i think they could be right.
lily
April 21st, 2008 at 5:05 pm
perhaps also an upgrade of red wine in communion to smirnoff, a stiff whiskey or a refreshing carlton draught? and some dip for the bread while youre at it.
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
The question here is “who’s the client?” Is that Jesus, or the people…
Loved the post.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Fabulous. I can think of 30 designers right off the top of my head who could do some serious good for Jesus’s identity.
Confess Tube - Definitely Necessary. I’m one of those selfish Gen Y assholes and I completely agree.
April 29th, 2008 at 8:25 am
You da man!!!
cheers!!!
May 3rd, 2008 at 2:07 am
Well put!
May 3rd, 2008 at 5:04 am
OMG that was so bloody hilarious!!!
You’re right, Christianity’s going down. Internet and a brand new image for JC would be ideal.
I don’t like religion anyway - believing in JC/Big G is more than enough for me, but it’d certainly be nice to make him go through an extreme makeover (?).
Let’s expand the belief frontiers
May 12th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Leon, you crack me up.
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Can I borrow $1800. I’ll pay you back in installments. $300 for 6 months. I need a new car.
February 19th, 2009 at 9:58 am
rethink the fee man, the guy is the son of god for his father sake!
fuschia’s a bit gay
just saying
August 9th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
It’s not the symbol that is wrong, the cross is a perfect sign - simple, meaningful, passionate, easy to reproduce, wouldn’t we all have loved to have been the creator of that!
No, it’s the delivery of the promise where the problem arises. Life ever after - particularly following a miserable existence on this earth. A complete lack of validation.
Believing that ‘life’ is the plaything of some ‘greater being’ is tenable. The belief that worship of that ‘greater being’ will result in some benefit deliverable in the future, after death is trickier without a witness. As JC is allegedly the only witness, it has been a long time …..
Selling an idea, particularly that of an ‘after life’ requires some skill. The fact that so many religions have done just that proves that PR works. The message has been adapted to suit the mindset and timeframe, it just takes the right kind of PR man!
Ride on Mohammed!
August 10th, 2009 at 7:41 am
Yet with all this “bad PR” He still has the largest organisation in the world
August 11th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Dear Leon,
Thanks for your note. Firstly having been in the business since, well I don’t know really, but let’s say before the big bang I think I have a bit more experience than you regarding vision. However I take your point about my current PR guys although some are OK but as for the rest take my word for it they may be in for a not to pleasant surprise before long. As for the thing about the hair and beard well being jewish and a Nazarene to boot that may pose a bit of a problem but I’ll see what I can do. On the crucifix thing dying with Maddona I think you’ll find it started when I died or shortly after not the other way around and that she stole it from me. As for You Tube I’m sorry to say that you’ll have to wait for my second gig to see those vids but I assure you they will blow you away!
Have a nice life
God
PS: I don’t write checques as my word is my bond.
August 24th, 2009 at 2:43 am
They posted your Dude comment in the Humor section, but it wasn’t Funny. Who put Air in your lungs, Who Open a newborns eyes for the first time? who gave you free will to believe in him or to not. Who laid the Foundation of the earth beneath the water in the ocean. Its not polite to make fun of someone if you never meant them. Plus me being in the—- ‘Relationship’ —”game”—– with GOD for sometime now means we become pretty personal and close. But no hard feelings, The Father and I love you just the same. Romans 8:35-39 in Short says That nothing san separate us from the Love of God, neither Death or Life, famine (economy) persecution,or Tribulation
Oh yeah the answer to those Questions…. well take your pick Father, God, The Author of Life, Y’shua The Alpha and Omega, Yahweh, the MoSt High, The Great I am
and Ps we can’t condense the Bible!!! ITs the best Selling book of all Time.. That would be bad for business for are PR GUYS
September 6th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Dear God, I have one word for you, dude: Vision.
// what vision. yours?
Having been in the ad game since the days when the right length pony tail got you an executives position, I can tell you a thing or two about your brand.
// God is no brand, you must be mistaken with the Nike Air Allah incident
Firstly, your PR guys are bad for your image.
// He has none. Care to do some charitable work?
No one wants to do business with hypocrites so until your boys in the robes can start behaving themselves, your organization is going to suffer image problems.
// Boys in robes are not in his “organization”, Dude You got yourself a capitalistic single side story of the world.
Secondly, cut the hair and lose the beard. I’m seeing a short back and side and at the very least a goatee for you.
// I’m seeing a load of crap in your post
Thirdly, the crucifix thing died when Madonna set them on fire for Pepsi.
// there was no cross, get your facts right first.
I’m thinking we go for a octagon in a nice shade of fushia.
// I’m thinking about having no symbols for starters
Finally we need to condense the Old and New Testament into an online blog and YouTube a few miracles if you want to reach those selfish little Gen Y assholes.
// First of all we should burn those books and start reading the true history
Those pricks live online and have plenty to go to confession for, but its gotta come to them so confesstube, may be something to think about.
// Confession has nothing to do with christ whatsoever. Not in this life, not to other people
I do consultancy works for $1800 an hour . No personal cheques, I don’t care who you are.
// Nobody wants to work with asshole wannabees like yourself. Go eat a banana and shout heil hitler, C F I - care
oh and go read up somewhere instead of ruining all them good prayers here. You’ve got cash to burn? Burn it wisely, one day You might just end up with no friends, family, home nor cash at all.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Agreeing with aaron vincent, there is nothing funny about what you say.
Did you know that Jesus died for people like you and me - always wanting to do things OUR way. His ways are not out ways. We cannot tell him what to do. Do you think your smarter than him?
God doesnt need us to think He’s ‘cool’ either, in fact he doesnt need us or our stupid worldly opinions at all, yet he loves us anyhow.
Remember, time doesnt change God - He is the same yesterday today and forever.