Dear God,
Why do I still care? He’s completely awful to me, treats me like crap, makes me feel invisible, but I still seek affirmation from him, attention. It’s killing me that he no longer cares and that I still want to be friends with this person. It’s definetly a toxic relationship. When I do talk to him…all I feel is pain. All I can remember is what he did, how he did it, and how he treated me. I felt like garbage. He apologized and asked for friendship and forgiveness. I have forgiven, now I need to forget. I need to forget him. I am trying to move on and have possibly met someone who is awesome, but I can not fully trust him because of the previous asshole I dated (sorry for swearing, but he is one). He took away my ability to trust, and already had trust issues in the first place. Please help me forget. And when I start to remember, fill my thoughts with YOU. I don’t want this emotional baggage anymore. Your slightly-scattered daughter, A Friend - Fresno, CA/USAShare:
June 4th, 2008 at 6:35 am
from one fresno-an to another…
the best way to forget is to START. start to go about ur life and start the heartache process of losing someone you love. your heart is going to take time to heal but if you start now, you will see the end sooner. the end of your heartache. the end of this unloving relationship. the end is what will keep you going. you will find a stronger you at the end. guaranteed
troughout it, remember that God feels your same pain except multiplied by 6 billion since everyone has broken His heart at one point or another. He knows more than you so trust Him.
June 4th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
thank you!
June 4th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
You take each day as it comes.
… then it slowly becomes easier and easier.
June 5th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
BABE-I PROMISE IT WILL GET BETTER, BECAUSE GOD IS ALL LOVING- ALSO REMEMBER THAT GOD WILL NEVER SEND YOU WHERETHE GRACE OF GOD CANT TAKE CARE OF YOU-
VERY NB-NOT ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME, ECSPECIALLY IF YOUVE ASKED GOD TO TO SEND YOU SOMEONE AWESOME…MAKE A LIST-LIST ALL YOU WANT IN YOUR FUTURE MAN-PRAY ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY-THAT WAY YOULL KNOW ITS HIM WHEN HE COMES ALONG- TRUST ME WITH THIS-
WHEN U R DOWN TO NOTHING GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING,THE FAITHFULL SEE THE INVISIBLE, BELIEVE THE INCREDIBLE AND RECEIVE THE IMPOSSIBLE…
June 5th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Beloved Fresno,
I AM glad that You Are beginning to take your first steps in reclaiming your own power. By recognising that you are in a situation which does not support you allows you to start gathering energy to move on to a more supportive environment. The chief reason why many people in the world feel so powerless and helpless is because they forgot to look within themselves for support and love and thus choose to give that power away to someone else who may not know how to use it for the greatest good. You are loved and supported by yourself, myself and all the powers of love and goodness, this is your ‘declaration of independance’, let your light shine brightly to others by being one of the emerging few who will exercise the free will so lovingly given to you by choosing to embrace positive and supportive relationships. Learn from your hardships and sorrows, grow stronger in triumph.
Always with you in unconditional love,
I AM
June 7th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
I’m glad to read of someone going through the same thing. I just recently seperated myself from a toxic relationship for hopefully the last time. I know what you are feeling right now and I believe God will get both of us through. Its hard and I know.
June 14th, 2008 at 8:48 am
God is the only one who truely knows what you need. He can fill you will all the love you need. Just a note…don’t listen to what guys say, pay attention to what they do. And go watch Sex and the City! Look up online the Mastry of Love. A beautiful book about relationships and most importantly the relationship with yourself. It all starts with being aware, and then making the changes. Love yourself
July 5th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Pretty lady!
It’s not him that is the problem, it’s the issues within you that you have to heal before you can get over him.
All problems we must solve come from within, not the outside. Understanding and working on that gives you the freedom to never involve yourself in toxic relationships again.
July 20th, 2008 at 8:44 am
I hear you… I am in the exact *SAME* situation, minus the may-have-met-someone-amazing part…. Still looking for that. I wish I could give advice, but just hearing that someone else knows what I am going through has made me feel better, so maybe I can do that for you.
August 4th, 2008 at 12:44 am
omg i kno exactly how you feel i went through the same thing.
and i met someone amazing and had the same insecurities and doubts as you! but i say go for it!
while ur uncertain now…. the person will b understandin and patient with ur delicate heart and it is so worth it in the end. To kno that you can love again feels better than love. its relief. its a breath of life afetr a logn and dark tunnel.
You need to start living your life. Not by forgetting. But by realising that ur past scars only make you stronger and that indeed you will love again. better than ever
September 17th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
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October 30th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Hey Friend,
I’m dealing with something of extremely similar caliber, and sometimes I feel unbelievably awful. It’s getting better though, with time.
I got involved with a person who also went about his way with me, knew what he was doing, and treated me like a dirty sock after he was done. He treated me like absolute garbage, made me feel like I was the last person he would ever dream of being with, and was a complete asshole to me (and still is). For what? Because I liked him. Jeez.
For the longest time I justified and minimized what happened. I thought I acted a certain way, I felt stupid about it, and therefore I justified that I deserved how he treated me. I also felt that I needed validation, affirmation, and attention from him - none of which occured, and my self-esteem plumeted lower from the low it was already at. I despised myself and loved my conquerer. It is amazing the depths a human can reach in attaining vallidation, and how you can allow yourself to become so fogged over with crippling heartache. About everything - the original source of pain slowly seeps into all other aspects of life, and before you realize it you feel like the biggest loser on the face of the earth. I wasn’t making the distinction that I wasn’t a stupid person, I just made a terrible mistake. My good friend told me recently that it was like all my brightness had been zapped this past year, like I became a different person.
What I have finally realized and recognized in hindsight, now that I’ve gotten a chance to process what has happened, is that a person completely capable of treating another person like dirt, like something that is so underneath them, is the type of person who doesn’t really love himself. What I also faced is that I don’t love myself too much either, and I haven’t been respecting myself.
I want to thank you for putting up this post, because as soon as I read it, I felt like, wow, I’m not so alone. Just reading this and the rest of the comments made me feel better. Hopefully when you read this, you’ll feel like you’re not alone.
You will trust again, and it will take time. And I feel like trust will also come when you completely trust yourself. Forgive yourself, and restore faith in yourself. That’s what I’m doing, and being on this difficult road to “recovery” is the very thing that finally pulled me out of the fog.
I believe in you!
November 26th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
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